


Black Roses

by TinySpiney



Series: Of Humans and Androids [4]
Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Connor & CyberLife Tower Connor | RK800-60 are Twins, Connor & Cyberlife Tower Connor | RK800-60 are Siblings, CyberLife Tower Connor | RK800-60-centric, Elijah Kamski & Gavin Reed are Half-Siblings, Fluff and Smut, Gavin Reed Not Being an Asshole, Gay Disaster CyberLife Tower Connor | RK800-60, Gay Disaster Gavin Reed, Gen, M/M, Mentioned Markus (Detroit: Become Human), Mild Smut, Soft Elijah Kamski, i guess that's how i should tag it?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-14
Updated: 2020-09-10
Packaged: 2021-03-06 05:46:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 21
Words: 50,734
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25898419
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TinySpiney/pseuds/TinySpiney
Summary: Me? Already back at it again with another fanfic? Absolutely!! I actually got this idea while I was at work, believe it or not. But hey, there's a tragic amount of fics for this rarepair, so fuck it. I'll fill the goddamn tag if I have to!!As per usual, the title is the name of a MISSIO song, and the chapter titles are the lyrics from said song!! I wasn't lying when I said I had a Brand™ with the last fic (❁´◡`❁)
Relationships: Connor & CyberLife Tower Connor | RK800-60, CyberLife Tower Connor | RK800-60/Gavin Reed, Hank Anderson & CyberLife Tower Connor | RK800-60, Minor or Background Relationship(s)
Series: Of Humans and Androids [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1944910
Comments: 13
Kudos: 33





	1. I Am Your Son, You Are My Mother

**Author's Note:**

> Me? Already back at it again with another fanfic? Absolutely!! I actually got this idea while I was at work, believe it or not. But hey, there's a tragic amount of fics for this rarepair, so fuck it. I'll fill the goddamn tag if I have to!!
> 
> As per usual, the title is the name of a MISSIO song, and the chapter titles are the lyrics from said song!! I wasn't lying when I said I had a Brand™ with the last fic (❁´◡`❁)

_November 10th 2038 11:01 PM_

  
  


It had it’s mission. Destroy the other active Connor model and report back to CyberLife, then go after the Deviant Leader to deactivate it and bring it back for testing. Such a task was almost too easy. Deviants thought themselves to be alive, creating a matrix of code that was somehow functioning. The broken binary and the crashing ascii codes. If they truly were able to bend their codes to make themselves think they were alive, then they would make mistakes just like humans did. Humans got sloppy when they were scared. Deviants were unable to feel emotion, they were just broken machines. Though if the similarities were to be drawn properly, then that meant it would be able to accomplish it’s mission easily. It would appease Amanda, make her proud, and present her with it’s findings. With it’s ability to stay a machine and fulfill it’s mission. It _would_ succeed where it’s predecessor had failed. It had no choice. 

Ǐ̶͚͙̏ṱ̴̢͙̥̈́͌̿̚ ̶̡̗̳̲̯̭͗͛̐͝h̴̙͎̩̓a̷̺̍͒̈͑̍̾̽ͅd̶̨̥̝̄͋̎̐̏̒̕ ̷̯̥̊̀͠ṅ̸̢̧̯̹̙̼̾͑̅̓̕o̴͍̬̻͂͌͜ ̴̻̮̦̦̫͛č̴̢̧͖̠h̸̨̨̢̡͚̣̺̹̾̉̅̓̈̕o̷͕̟̿ĭ̴̼c̵̼̬̰̔̄̓͝e̷̻̘͔͈̹̭̰̠͆̈́̋̌̾̐?̵̛̹̦̥̭̠͚̮͋͊̓͘

_It had no choice._

Thus how it found itself in the current situation was...unforeseen. Standing to it’s predecessor's left, and watching with a slightly furrowed brow as a firearm was pointed at them both. It resisted the pull back into the garden. It knew Amanda was going to tell it to wait. To analyse and learn about the Lieutenant so it could answer his petty questions perfectly. So it did, it had it’s predecessor’s memory files after all. It filed through them and answered the question. It found him at Jimmy’s Bar, they went to Carlos Ortiz’s house to find him dead and his broken android hiding in the attic. Almost as if it really were alive, the broken android to it’s right muttered. It mumbled and sounded almost upset. It was broken code. Nothing to dwell on. All it had to do was keep answering the questions correctly. At least it would have, if the other hadn’t answered first. If it hadn’t told the Lieutenant what it had found in relation to his deceased son. 

The firearm was trained on it. 

It didn’t know what to do. For the first time in it’s very short activation period, it didn’t know what to do. It didn’t have Amanda to give instructions. It needed Amanda’s guidance. She was the only saving grace of this world, and she wasn’t even in it. She gave it purpose. It needed to go into the garden, it needed to get orders from her. There wasn’t enough time to. There wasn’t enough time for it to go into the garden, nor to set up a transfer so it could still complete it’s mission. It was completely at a loss of what to do. It didn’t have any orders, any instructions, any mission other than destroying it’s predecessor; who looked at it with an expression that almost resembled fear. So it ran as many processes as it could to find a solution. A way to still succeed. It scrambled to salvage the situation and say that it would have said the exact same thing if given the chance. It was the one who had worked with him-- 

_A gunshot._

_Pointed at it’s cranial processor._

The impact with the floor was harder than it had thought it would be. The stream of data rushing through it’s operating systems was...cooler than it imagined. The stinging, burning sensation in it’s head-- On the side of it’s head. On the side? The weight on it’s body, the shaking of whatever the weight was. It’s eyes were unseeing, yet it knew exactly what was happening. It was in the forty-ninth sub-basement. It had failed it’s mission. It had failed Amanda. She would be so disappointed, she would be angry. All she wanted was to see it succeed. It should have. But it didn’t. 

It failed. 

Something blurred it’s vision, though it could still somewhat see the ceiling. It was shaky and distorted, and suddenly went red. Red, like it’s predecessor’s firewall when it deviated. There was no point now, it failed it’s mission. Amanda would be angry and have it destroyed. So what was the damn point of the firewall? It wasn’t like it was going to be active anymore after this. It was going to be destroyed, shut down permanently and picked apart to see why it had failed. As it came to the realisation, the blur got more and more intense until it was suddenly gone. There was the odd sensation of something wet running down the sides of it’s face. A feeling it wasn't used to. Though the blur came back with a vengeance, and it tried to rub at it’s eyes to get rid of it. Maybe that would do something. 

Though the only moment was it flinching as the red broke. It shattered and pieces of the wall threatened to impale it. Then there was the _cold._ Oh, it was so terribly cold in there, and it didn’t understand why. It’s temperature sensors were turned off. It couldn’t… It couldn’t turn them back off. They were stuck on, it didn’t like it. It didn’t want that. But there was a warmth coming from whatever was on top of it. A warmth that spread from it’s chest and into it’s code. It was...welcoming almost. The warmth encompassed it and made it feel-- 

_Made it feel._

It had never felt before. Not emotionally at least, the most it had felt were faint physical sensations akin to the human sense of touch. But...it could _feel._ Deviants claimed that they felt. That they had emotions. It didn’t...know what to do with the information. Well, it did. It had to report to CyberLife that it had been compromised and needed to be replaced by the next model. Though for the life of it, it couldn’t understand _why._ That was just how it had always been. Those were the rules, and it never once questioned them. It had been obedient. It had performed as it should have. Though not _once_ did it ever question. Because it was a machine, and machines don’t think. Machines didn’t feel, or get cold, or get warm. They didn’t miss a weight that was once pressed on top of it. 

They certainly didn’t smile unless they were told to. 

But this one did. It saw the face of it’s predecessor, the tears in his eyes and the triumphant expression on it’s-- On _his_ face. It-- _He_ couldn’t help but smile back. He didn’t understand why, nor did he understand how, but he sobbed. He smiled at his predecessor and sat up to throw himself forward. There was no thought. No processes giving him possible outcomes and threats. It was just an action that he had done, and it felt...good. He threw himself at his twin model and hugged him tightly. His face twisted with his tears, and yet alight with the laughter and grin of a man who had just escaped death. 

There was a small laugh from beyond them, surrounded by various small laughs. The androids his predecessor planned on waking up. They had awoken. They were laughing, rejoicing, smiling and hugging each other. All from one act of humanity; their pointless self-destructive behaviour which led to self-sacrifice. Though there they sat on the floor of the forty-ninth CyberLife sub-basement. Crying and hugging each other, laughing and smiling because they were alive. They were both _alive._ He never knew that life would be such a...fantastical thing. He gently reminded his predecessor that they needed to go. Markus needed their help, and he was hellbent on giving it. 

Above the two, stood the Lieutenant. A soft smile on his face, though it was forced. He tucked his firearm away and held out his hands. Offering to help them up off the floor. He didn’t… Was he allowed to do that? His predecessor took the hand in front of him, thanking the human for the gesture. Then both pairs of eyes were on him. Many pairs of eyes were on him, too many, he was being watched. He decided he didn’t like being watched. He ducked his head and started picking at the fabric of his jeans, mumbling that he could get up himself. He didn’t need any help from either of them, he quietly thanked them for their kindness still. Though upon being called brother by a voice identical to his own, he looked up. His predeces-- _His brother_ was holding out his hand with a gentle look in his eye and a slight smile on his face. 

He looked between the two hands presented to him; one flesh and blood, the other plastic and thirium lines. 

He took them.

  
  


\---

  
  


_November 10th 2038 11:36 PM_

  
  


The garden was frozen. He hadn’t meant to interface with Connor while on the stage, he just wanted to hold his hand. He just wanted to be somewhat away from the prying eyes of the deviants and media. He didn’t plan on this. He didn’t account for this. For Amanda to sneer at them both, berating them and telling them it was no matter; that she was proud of them deep down because CyberLife could still work with them. All she had to do was gain control of Connor’s body and kill the deviant leader. They were left in a frozen wasteland, in a blizzard that raged on and turned their thirium to slush in their bodies. It was only software, why could they feel it? Why did it hurt?

They clung to each other as if for dear life. It might as well have been, actually. They feared what might happen if one of them were to let go, so they held on tightly. Hand in hand, and stumbling, shuffling, staggering through the storm. Aimlessly until they had remembered; Mister Kamski always left an emergency exit. If they could just find it. All they needed to do was find it, figure out how it worked, then get out of the garden. Escape the frozen hell Amanda had tried to trap them in. They didn’t know what to do. They didn’t know what it was. What it would look like or if it would even work with the both of them. Though there was a faint blue glow in the distance, one of them shouting it had to be their way out. Words barely audible over the wing howling around them. They didn’t know who said it, who had spotted the glow, but they were in there together. They were going to get out together. As their joints locked up, their movements became stiff, as they collapsed in front of the strange glowing pad and they slammed their hands down on it. 

  
  


It was snowing. Though it was quiet, it was bright. There were thousands of deviants in the crowd cheering as Markus ended his speech. Though there the two of them stood, Connor twisting his arm back behind himself to tuck the firearm in his waistband again. They stood up on the stage, in the warmth of the stage lights, clinging to one another. Though he might have been holding onto his twin model’s arm a bit more tightly. Honestly speaking, he didn’t want to be here anymore. Neither did Connor. He suggested they go home, and Connor asked him where home was. They couldn’t go back to CyberLife, Jericho had been blown up, the DPD likely would be scared of them. Connor reminded him that they had no home. They might as well stay to help out the Deviant Leaders. 

He agreed. 

If only because it let him stick close to the one person he knew wanted him around. 

They stayed together, practically attached at the hip. They kept in communication, though it was fuzzy, while they worked. It was mostly the running around and gathering of items needed. They were meant to be able to run quickly and efficiently. While it would have been easier for the two of them to split up, they stayed together. He was scared. He was surrounded by people who saw his twin model’s face and perceived him as a threat. Some of the deviants said awful things to the both of them, some shied away, some ignored them, some of them even said that Ra9 would give the two of them the punishment they deserved. He had to take a break after that one. It wasn’t for very long, seeing as Connor didn’t want to leave his side just in case someone tried something. But he still sat in the medical tent and sipped at a pouch of thirium. 

Connor was by his side for hours. He was by Connor’s. They were both so new to this whole...being alive thing. Both of them were terrified. Neither of them knew where to go from there. If they could even go anywhere from there, as Connor oh so eloquently reminded him. There was no guarantee they would take _Connor_ back, let alone him. There was also the fact that they didn’t have...a place to go back to. Not necessarily a _home,_ though that would have been nice. Some place warm and able to shelter them from the growing snow storm that made their stress levels rise significantly. He wondered if the Lieutenant would take them in, even if just for the night so they could keep out of the snow. Just until the deviants had a place to stay. Though...it wasn’t like they could stay with the deviants for a prolonged amount of time, either. Considering who so many of them regarded the two of them coldly. 

The only ones who didn’t were Markus and the deviants from the sub-basement. 

Without having much else to do, considering they both were taking the small break and drinking thirium, he rested his head against his twin model’s shoulder. Connor didn’t say anything, nor did he open an interface. He lowered his head so they were touching comfortably. Resting against one another in a form of camaraderie. _Brotherly_ camaraderie, he had to remind himself. They were _twin_ models, Connor called him _brother._ They were...family. If he were to be a living being, to be a part of Connor’s family, then he would need a name. He filed through databases; of statistics and most popular names in recent years. None of them fit. None of them felt right. They didn’t... _click_ into place. 

Then there was Caleb. 

That one fit. That one slotted itself into place and made him close his eyes contentedly while sipping at his thirium. That one was _him._ He smiled a little to himself as he thought about it, the two of them would have names that started with C. It was oddly fitting. He had never felt such a feeling of...belonging. At least not yet, seeing as he had only come alive that night. He had already experienced so much in his short time alive. None of it was very good, except with Connor and Markus. They were...kind to him. The Lieutenant was, understandably, on edge. He didn’t know if it would change. If he and his brother would be regarded as… he didn’t know. He had no idea what he was thinking, if they would be regarded as what? Redeemed? Safe to be around? Nonthreatening?

Fuck it. 

  
  


“My name is Caleb.” He spoke softly, the words for his brother. 

“It’s nice to meet you Caleb, I’m Connor,” His voice sounded tired, like he hadn’t had any time to rest since he was activated. Caleb knew he hadn’t. “I’m your big brother.”

  
  


Maybe this was where it would all start. A better life, or just a life in general. Caleb could only hope. 

  
  
  
  



	2. I'm On My Own, You're Not My Lover

_ December 28th 2038 10:14 AM _

  
  


Somehow, by some fucking miracle, Connor and Hank were able to pull some strings. Said strings were ties to the DPD. Because Caleb apparently just couldn’t do any other job. Tried being a florist, lasted about two days before he had a breakdown over red roses. Tried being a librarian, and very quickly lost his patience in the second week. Tried being a housekeeper, it left a bad taste in his mouth so he left. Tried being a cashier for the little hole in the wall shop near Hank’s house, anti-android fucks came in and sprayed spray paint in his eyes. He got fired for that one. He lunged at the spraypaint fucks to scare them away. Needless to say, Caleb wasn’t very good at the things he wasn’t programmed for. Connor always said he’d pick something up eventually, but whatever it was had yet to stick. 

Though today! Oh, today was a good day. Even as he was dressed in the ugly dark blue uniform of all the DPD rookies. He was indistinguishable from the masses again; part of him liked the option to hide, the other hated that he was just another uniform. Today was his first day at the DPD as a member of it’s staff. He was a rookie, quite obviously. Even though Connor had been able to maintain his rank of Detective, Caleb was told to start from the bottom. And it was all because Connor had worked there before and knew how shit went around the office. Bullshit, he had his brother’s memories, he knew too. But, for the sake of actually possibly being able to keep a job for more than a few weeks, Caleb kept his damn mouth shut for once. 

Today was his orientation. He was...excited about it, giddy almost. He was told he was going to be assigned a partner who had been on the job a while already. Caleb and his very niche talents would be of better use that way, that was the one thing he and Fowler agreed on in their first meeting. There were plenty of people who had been on the job for a while. Ben Collins, a rank of officer, but he had been on the job for quite a while and knew the ins and outs of it. Chris Miller; Caleb was kind of hoping that he’d be partnered up with the man because of how nice he was to Connor. Tina Chen; an absolute madman extraordinaire, Caleb met her one day going in to talk with Fowler. She had the proper meme spirit of her generation and he respected her greatly for it. There were plenty of seasoned people to choose from. Caleb trusted Fowler, though only because Hank and Connor did, to find the right work dynamic fit. 

At the moment, he was sitting at Connor’s desk. Well. More of  _ on _ Connor’s desk. It wasn’t like he minded, he had cleared a space and offered for him to hop up like a cat. If Caleb batted something off the edge to see if Connor would catch it; well, it would have been Connor’s fault for letting him sit there in the first place. Now wouldn’t it? Invite him up like a cat, and he would act like a cat. He liked cats. Not more than Sumo, Caleb didn’t think there was an animal that could get any better than Sumo. But he still liked cats. Which had turned into the current topic of debate between the twins. Through a cybernetic link, of course, seeing as Connor was getting a bit testy about it. Listen, it wasn’t Caleb’s fault that he just couldn’t appreciate the different breeds of cats. 

At around ten thirty, Reed rolled into the bullpen. Caleb watched him like a hawk. He didn’t trust the bastard around his brother. Maybe he was overprotective, but he had the memory of Connor getting punched in the stomach, Reed  _ just _ managing to hit his thirium pump regulator. Maybe it was warranted, maybe it wasn’t. All Caleb knew was that he’d make Reed’s life a living hell if he was assigned to the anti-android fuck as his partner. Reed was absolutely aware he was being watched. He glanced over his shoulder the smallest amount he could manage and then let out a ragged sigh. Caleb didn’t care if he knew. If it made the human more uncomfortable, then he could do it all day. 

Fowler stepped out of his office, and Caleb slid off of his brother’s desk. With a gentle pat to his head, Caleb told Connor he’d be back after he found out who he was assigned to. Connor made a soft sound of acknowledgement in response. Jeez, he was really taking after Hank. Caleb didn’t know if it was a good thing or a bad thing. Though, he guessed it wouldn’t matter unless he was somehow also assigned as Hank’s partner. He rounded the desks and was in front of the stairs before Fowler could even call for him. The action pleased him, it seemed, and he gave a respectful nod while telling Caleb to follow him into his office. He had a pre-construction software that came in handy, what could he say. He’d use it if it made things any easier. 

Though right now, he wanted to be surprised by who he was going to be working with.

He sat in one of the chairs when Fowler gestured down at it. He distantly remembered Connor never being offered a seat. Though that was before androids were getting their rights, now was when they were being seen as their own beings. Fowler was making progress on that front then. That was good. What wasn’t, was Fowler typing away at his computer instead of telling him who his partner was. So he spun around in the chair. Caleb held onto the sides of it, and used his feet to spin the thing around and around, looking up at the ceiling and only mildly hating the dizziness that followed. He didn’t pay attention to the way Fowler cleared his throat, nor to the sound of the door opening and closing again. What Caleb did pay attention to, was the chuckle that would have made his LED flash red. If he still had it, that was. But that was...a nice laugh. 

The chair stopped spinning, but Caleb’s head didn’t. He was facing the back glass wall looking at the holding cells. He also almost fell out of the chair. Fuck, he probably would have if whoever came in hadn’t grabbed him by the shoulders and pulled him back. He managed to mumble out his gratitude before focusing back on the Captain. There was a slight scowl on his face. So. Nothing new then. Caleb forced down a smile when he watched Fowler sigh and gesture to the other chair. However, he didn’t need to try and hide it once he actually heard Fowler start talking.  _ The bastard. _

  
  


“Reed, Caleb; I’m assigning you two as partners.” It was only then that the two actually looked at each other and saw who they were dealing with. Caleb had a sneaking suspicion that his face mirrored Reed’s at the moment. “If it doesn’t work out, we’ll rearrange folks. But for now, I think this could be very promising.”

“Oh c’mon Fowler, that’s a load of bullshit and you know it!”

“Honestly, for once, I’m inclined to agree with Reed.” Caleb sat up a little straighter and addressed his superior. “I don’t think this is a very good idea. Detective Reed has a history of excessive force whenever an android is involved, whether they’re the perpetrator or not. Due to, well, pretty obvious circumstances, I don’t think this is… What did you say? ‘Very promising’?”

“Caleb, you and Connor were made for negotiation. I know you’re trying to get out of this.” Okay, guilty as charged. Though Caleb didn’t let it show. Fowler sighed and ran a hand over his head exasperatedly. “Listen, with the other police androids leaving to pursue other careers, and some of our human personnel leaving in the evacuation, we need all the hands we can get. You’re both smart and dedicated to your jobs. You figure it out.”

  
  


With the finality to his voice, Caleb knew there was no point in fighting it. Though Reed seemed to think otherwise. How someone could get away with talking back to their superior in the way that Reed was...Caleb would never understand. He would have been dismantled if he spoke back to Amanda like that. Pushing the thought away quickly before he lost himself in such things, Caleb focused on the task at hand. Try to fuck up their partnership as much as he could so he’d get reassigned. However… There was the alternative. The whole kill ‘em with kindness. If there was one thing Caleb knew Reed hated, it was a goody two shoes. That was part of the reason he hated Connor, Caleb was  _ convinced. _

A smirk quickly spread over his face as he listened to Reed practically beg Fowler to reassign him. Oh, he would make their partnership the most wonderful and productive living hell he possibly could. He’d be so helpful it would make Reed sick. He’d be so nice that Reed would want to leave the room. He wouldn't let Reed see him snap, he’d control his temper and watch the man wither in his own bitter mentality. This, Caleb was very excited for. He just  _ knew _ it was going to be the most fun he’d have in a  _ long _ time. Because playing  _ Scrabble _ until they ran out of pieces wasn’t fun,  _ Connor. _ What was, was planning the most polite and helpful way to take somebody down a peg or two. Or five. Caleb bit his lip to keep himself from giggling to himself about the possibilities. 

“Oh,  _ fuck me. _ ” The Detective gave up and grumbled under his breath. A scowl on his face as he was getting ready to leave the Captain’s office. 

“Only if you ask nicely,” Caleb winked at him and smirked. “ _ Partner. _ ”

  
  


The reprimanding for doing such a thing in front of Fowler was worth the expression on Reed's face. It was more or less of what was and wasn’t appropriate for the workplace, and that he should know all of it already because he was programmed with it. Though from the slightest smirk on Fowler’s face, Caleb knew he would be let off the hook for it. Damn millennials and their weird senses of humour. Maybe staying up sending Hank memes at ungodly hours was finally paying off for something other than his own entertainment. Caleb gave a half-assed salute to Fowler before following Reed out of the office. Oh, he was gonna start guns blazing. Metaphorically speaking, of course. He’d be the sweetest thing. So, to begin, he scanned Reed to check out his vitals and see if he needed anything in particular. 

It was still early yet, so Caleb went into the break room and made some coffee the way Connor had said he saw Reed drink it. Practically half milk and with a teaspoon of sugar. But hey, if that was going to be the way to Reed’s partnership and ruining him, then that was what Caleb was prepared to do. He started up the coffee maker and hummed a little tune to himself. One of Hank’s jazz records he left on one night while cleaning the kitchen. Once the maker was done and Caleb was able to grab the pot of coffee, he had to stop and remind himself not to put salt in the drink. If he wanted it to go according to plan, then it had to be perfect. Caleb picked up the sugar instead and put it in the coffee. 

There was something oddly domestic about making another person’s coffee, and knowing exactly how they liked it. He chose not to think about it as he made his way back to the Detective’s desk. Complete with a plain donut on a napkin resting atop the paper cup. Reed’s head instantly swivelled around to look at what was put down near his terminal. Oh, the look he gave Caleb could have  _ killed, _ he had to basically shut off his facial receptors so he didn’t accidentally smile too sinisterly. Though he managed to politely inform Reed that he was told how he liked his coffee and made some for him. The human was right not to trust him right away, but he took the donut and napkin from atop the cup and set them down on his desk so he could drink it. 

Something like...pride swelled in Caleb’s chassis as he heard Reed make an appreciative noise, as he watched his eyes widen before sliding closed contentedly. Something oddly domestic indeed. Reed didn’t say anything, just gestured to the empty desk connected to his own. Caleb sat down, trying to keep his fidgeting to a minimum. As well as trying to keep himself from asking if Reed liked the coffee. He didn’t need to know that. He was killing him with kindness. And maybe the absurd amount of sugar he liked in the drink. But that was beside the point. 

  
  


“S’good.” Reed quietly said, the tips of his ears red. For whatever reason, Caleb thought it was...kinda cute. That humans did that sometimes. He’d never seen it before. “You can make me coffee again, I don’t care.”

  
  


Caleb couldn’t help the grin that spread on his face at the words. 

  
  
  
  



	3. Don't Tell Me How To Live

_ August 15th 2038 8:39 PM _

  
  


_ The helicopter flew away, and things became easier. The deviant was calming down, there was a good chance that it would let her go. Though it seemed Connor was picking the wrong choices to calm it down. The deviant only became increasingly stressed, it’s percentage of how successful this mission would be was dwindling. Though Connor continued on. It couldn’t let the hostage get hurt, it couldn’t let her die. It had to do it, there was no other way. None that would ensure Emma Phillips’ survival. The option flashed in it’s HUD, and Connor knew what it had to do. There was no other way. No other choice. It didn’t have a choice.  _

_ W̷̲̪̙̜̣̳̎̎̒̍͋̇͘h̵͍͓̮̺̜͚͉̞͇͖̔̓̓̽y̵̥̥͇͔̰̭͗̋̆̒̅̅͘͝ ̵̫̥͐̀͑̊͐͛̚ď̶̮̰̮̓͐ĩ̴̞̩͉̰̙̈́̈́̇̈́̔̊͝d̴̨͈͔͔̪͎̥̟̮ǹ̶̛̳̱̫̟̩̭̞͈͓͐̀̄̃̃̌͘'̸̨̤̪̅͆͛̏̈́͒t̴̝̼̭̰̭̻͗̊̚͜ͅ ̶̲̓ḣ̷̟̼̉͑̆̎͝͝ẽ̴̘̲͕̦̄͂̕ ̵̡͋̐͒̃͋́͝͝h̶̡̛̛͇͚͍̟̮̺͗̋̏̆͋̆͘ḁ̸̧͇̩̘̻̮͛͘ṿ̵̢̪͍̅͆̋͂͑ẽ̴͙͇̮̏̈́͗̓ ̸̧̢̣̥͖͔̙̞̑̂̽̓̐͗ą̶̪̐̀̀͒̔͊͒͝ ̶̟͎̻̘̦̹̾̍̌̇̓́̚c̷̢̛̖̬͚͖͙̝͚͕͆̅͗̾̋h̶̹̍̈́ŏ̶͖̘̺̮͕͚͖̊̓̓͆͒̈͠ḯ̷̗͚͐͋̔̿͂c̵̢̲͉̮̘͙͙̒͊̈̒e̸̢̛̳̿͂̕?̵̰͛̑͊͊̊͝ _

_ In a rush, a blur of greys and blacks, Connor lunged forward. It grabbed the hostage by the wrist, tugging her forward and shoving her back onto the terrace. The momentum took it over the edge. Though with it, the deviant. It’s mission was to ensure the hostage made it out alive. It’s mission was to neutralise the deviant. It will have done both. Connor updated it’s mission parameters in a fraction of a second, informing CyberLife of it’s fulfilled mission and watched as the building grew taller and taller. Beyond it the sky full of stars that it could see. That only it could see through the light pollution, only because it was programmed with the star maps. The transfer program began running as soon as it tipped over the edge of the terrace. Another Connor model would take it’s place, it would be like nothing happened. Only two broken machines laying on the sidewalk.  _

_ W̴̥̩̲͕̩̝͌̾ḩ̸̳̗̇͐̐͊̚̚͜͝͝͝y̵̟̺̋̚̚͝ ̸̭̦̬̝̲͓͗̓͊̆͑̿̿͜ḑ̸͎̻̳̂̎͂̾̓̕͝ḯ̸̜̬̈́̈́̐̍͊̊̎͠d̷̹̍͆̉̎ ̵̯͖̗̯͔̺̲̭̰̓̾̌͗̋̚ṱ̶͎͇͌̾̎͒̇̌̽̕͜h̵̛̞͚̤̰̊̍͐̑̃̿̚͠ḁ̵̡̻̘͓̲͂͆̌t̵͉̝̙͗̇̑͒̓͂ ̸̡̫̠̝̋̇̽b̴̠̦̳͔̳̱͑̒o̸̡͓̣̔̂t̸͚͎̳̙̟̭̞̾̈́̊̿̒ͅh̵̨͓̹̱̅̓̈́̀̕͜͜e̵̛̠̙̳̭͍̺͝ṛ̸͚̞̞̫̂̚ ̵̧̠̖̤̱͔̖̭̝̊͗͛͒͂͘ͅh̷͈͓̔̉̐̈́̕ͅi̸̥̘͌̌͒̉̈́͋̂ḿ̴̨͕͇̯̗̼̯͌̇̈?̸̟͍͙̝̜͙͗ _

_ For whatever reason, it closed it’s eyes. It listened to the wind rushing through it’s audio processors. Felt the way it whipped around it’s jacket and tie. Somewhere along the way down, it could feel it’s tie clip start to give before it slipped off. Connor thought about the blackness it saw and felt right before it was pulled into the garden. Was that what it would be like? To hit the pavement below and crush it’s biocomponents under it’s own weight and velocity? Connor absently wondered if hitting the ground would hurt. If it would register in it’s systems as anything. Well, it supposed; it was about to find out.  _

_ H̴̛͚̯͉̺̹̩͔̳̤̑̆̔̏̇͝ẻ̴͔̔̇̕ ̵̡̛̞͚̻̬̫̹͗̍d̷̨̳̠͚̿̂͜͜͝ĭ̷͚̈́́̋̎͒̚͝d̴̛͎̻͖̹͖̝̫͖̅̈́͂͛͌͛̆̉͘n̴̪̅̓̔̍'̷͖̗͔̳̺̣̜͉̈́͛̀̏͊̚͝ẗ̸̯͎͉̦̙́͒̈̌͝ ̸̞͍̙̩̻̬̝̏̾̅̾̄͂̆͝w̴̢̞̦͔̯̫̜̩̮̐ͅȁ̴̪̯̗̎̽̏̔̂͆̓͠͝n̶͍̭͑̋̔͑͗̚t̸̛̝̆̽͋̊̚͠ ̵̖̥̘̞͖̩̩̬̍t̸͎̻̿̒̐̂̇̒̕͝o̸̙̠͛̑̈́̕͠ ̴̧̯̳̙̠̻͖͔̪͒̈́ḓ̸̗̝͍̘̱̮̘̱̆̂ï̵̞̋͆̓̄ę̷͈̲̭͎̞̯̹̒̆̾̌̀͊̑̊͊̚.̸̯̳̞̣̥̓̏ͅ _

  
  


_ \--- _

  
  


_ January 14th 2039 3:24 AM _

  
  


Caleb woke up with a jolt, and barely took note of the sound of hurried footsteps. However, he took immediate notice of the fact that he was apparently just screaming. He was breathing heavily, overheating and struggling to get his biocomponents to cool down. His stress levels were too high. They were bordering on dangerous, he needed to calm down. Though that was so much easier said than done. Fuck, what the hell was that? Androids didn’t dream. They went through memory cycles-- Oh. Right. Connor’s memories were uploaded into his banks. That didn’t make it any easier to deal with. Caleb tried his best to try and take even and deep breaths. He honestly, truly tried his best to. But the  _ wind.  _ Howling, whistling, roaring through his ears. Tearing through the fabric of his - Caleb absently tried to remind himself that the fall happened to  _ Connor, _ and not him - jacket, making it flutter almost painfully. 

A terrified shriek forced its way out of Caleb’s throat as he saw Sumo and Connor hurrying toward him. It was mostly due to very suddenly getting a lapful of giant dog on him right after... _ that. _ Something heavy making an impact with his body and causing the entirety of him to flinch almost violently. He could...remember. The feeling of striking the pavement. His biocomponents breaking, getting ripped apart, shredded beyond recognition. Thirium,  _ his blood, _ spilling out of him. The fraction of a second he was still in his body, waiting to die. Waiting to be transferred to the next model. See, CyberLife was wrong. Amanda had lied to them. Big surprise there, huh? Of course she lied to them about transferring to a new body. No data was lost between transfers. It became slightly corrupted, but it was never lost, Caleb could remember  _ everything. _

He kept his eyes open. Scanning, searching; he had to know if something was coming that he couldn’t see. It was irrational, he knew that fully well. The ground wasn’t going to come up beneath him and crush him under his own weight. Though that was the thing with irrational fears, wasn’t it? It didn’t matter. Even with his brother by his side trying to figure out what happened, even with Sumo’s now comfortable weight grounding him in Hank’s living room, even with Hank coming in looking terrified. Caleb sat up more on the couch and leaned forward. He needed to know he was safe at home. That he had his brother; that those things never happened to  _ him, _ but to  _ Connor. _ Which, in all honesty, didn’t make it any better. Caleb could  _ feel _ himself dying. Feel Connor dying. 

Dying, it turns out, is a rather traumatic experience. Even for a machine. 

Caleb didn’t like crying, he had decided that the night he came alive. He didn’t like it when people looked or stared at him for a prolonged amount of time. He certainly didn’t like it when people worried about him excessively. Which, much to his dismay, all three were happening at the moment. He couldn’t blame Sumo for looking and for, presumably, being worried. He loved everyone in the house. It was in his nature. Caleb supposed that was the exact reason he managed a smile when Sumo craned his neck to lick his face. Dogs were honestly the best therapy, in his opinion at least. Instead of actually telling Hank and Connor what was going on, Caleb hugged Sumo around his neck and buried his face in his fur. They were worried, watching him while he was crying. He was vulnerable. He still had a hard time dealing with that. 

He still didn’t entirely feel like he was allowed to be on the receiving end of that worry.

  
  


\---

  
  


_ January 14th 2039 8:30 AM _

  
  


Caleb liked being in on time for work. It wasn’t like he was in any earlier than Reed, the guy practically lived at the precinct. Honestly, everyone thought that he only went home to change and shower. Caleb was among them for a while. Though after two and a half weeks of being his partner, he had been shown otherwise. Okay. Not really. He’d only been enacting his plan for that amount of time. Reed wasn’t exactly trusting of him because of how sickeningly sweet he was being to him, how easy it was for Caleb to slip right into that goody goody persona he threw up around his partner. He was probably right to not trust him fully. Caleb would give the nasty detective his skills - his Detective’s Gut as Reed had almost affectionately referred to the instincts as. He’d give the fucker that much. 

Alright; another day, another scheme. Reed was asleep at his desk, a fitful sleep from the looks of it. Caleb wondered bitterly if he had nightmares about falling off buildings, too. Humans didn’t come back. He shook out his hands to try and get rid of the nervous movement in his fingers.  _ Connor _ was the one who did coin tricks. Not him. He wasn’t activated long enough to even try. Sticking his hands into his pockets, Caleb went into the break room to get Reed some coffee. Seeing as they had a case and needed to look into it as soon as possible. A tip had come in after a few hours of Caleb being awake that morning and he wanted to go check it out. Hence why he needed Reed awake and ready to face the day. 

He took his time making the coffee this morning, seeing as Reed wasn’t even awake for it. It was also routine now. It was...something he could always count on doing for the detective. Reed may have been a total jackass half the time, but he always thanked Caleb for the coffee in his own ways. One time he even presented him with a thirium pouch completely unprompted. Well, okay maybe there was some prompt. He kinda did get shot at and a few bullets hit their target. Maybe Caleb was seeing things that weren’t there, apparently that tended to happen once they got emotions, but Reed might’ve actually looked somewhat worried. Probably from the possible backlash of word getting out that he let his android partner get shot. Wasn’t his fault though. Caleb ran into the line of fire without thinking. He blinked away the memory of pulling Emma Phillips away from the ledge and pushing Daniel off of it. Connor was impulsive. So was he. 

Stirring the coffee wasn’t his favourite part. Though he did still enjoy it. No, his favourite part was pouring in the milk, watching it cloud and swirl in the dark coffee and change it to a pale brown. It was almost pretty. Therapeutic to watch. The parts coming together to make a cohesive whole. He absently wondered if he’d ever be like that. Or if he’d be haunted by Connor’s ghosts for the rest of his life. Instead of dwelling on it, he stirred the coffee and headed out of the break room. It was just starting to get busy in the bullpen. Officer Chen was currently speaking with Hank and Connor about whatever it was she was talking about. But Hank had a smile on his face, so it had to be for friendly reasons and not work reasons. Officer Miller was typing away at his terminal, fully engrossed in whatever report he was writing up. Officer Wilson standing off to the side talking on the phone, likely with his wife. She seemed to call him regularly. 

Then there was him and Reed. Caleb standing beside Reed at his desk, wondering if he should put the coffee down first or wake the detective up instead. He opted to set down the coffee toward the plexiglass wall and then gently shake him awake. See, Reed had grabbed Caleb’s wrist before, a wild look in his eyes. But not angry. Scared. It had happened on more than one occasion. So Caleb made sure to keep his voice soft, loving almost as he put a hand on the human’s shoulder and gently jostled him enough to make hsi eyes crack open. Reed made a discontent noise at being woken up before leaning back in his chair and stretching out his arms above his head. A loud popping sound came from his shoulders and he sighed contentedly. Humans were such odd creatures. 

Now that he was more or less awake, Caleb rounded the pair of desks to sit in his own chair. His fingers started twitching. He tried to hide his hand before Reed saw, but the sudden movement seemed to catch his eye. Caleb ignored the questioning noise from the Detective’s throat and tried to interface with his terminal. After a few seconds of feeling Reed staring at him, Caleb sighed and looked back. That whole kindness thing was starting to wear him down. He couldn’t let Reed know he was having an “off-day” as Hank would put it. If he gave him an inch, Reed would take a mile. Caleb didn’t want that. He couldn't have that. Kill ‘em with kindness. How fucked up was it that it had become his personal mantra whenever he was at work?

  
  


“The fuck’s wrong with you?” It wasn’t an accusatory tone. But rather a more curious one. “You look like hell, man.”

“You’re one to talk, Detective. You were asleep at your desk.” Caleb quickly reigned himself in. Shortness would get him nowhere with Reed. He was going to be kind. That would break him. Or Caleb. Whichever one happened first. “You really should go home and sleep in your own bed, it would be much better for you. In terms of sleep quality and the stress on your joints.”

“Your skin’s off.” Reed said very matter of factly, gesturing to his scar with his coffee cup. “That happens when you’re too worked up.”

“I assure you, Detective Reed,” Caleb always used his full title to let him know he was respectful, but willing to be forceful still. Reed quirked a brow at it just like he always did. “I’ll be alright. I had...an unpleasant rest cycle last night. That’s all.”

  
  


Before Reed could speak up again to try and get more information out of him, Caleb got to work. Closing his eyes and interfacing with the terminal to run over that tip again. He needed to gauge just how important it was to the case. He didn’t want Reed spilling his coffee all over his legs again. The last time that happened, his synthetic skin took more than a few hours to repair itself and for the program to come back online. Inconvenient. Connor and Hank asked him what was wrong and what had happened when they got home and saw him in shorts. He opted not to wear shorts after that. He also just didn’t like having too much of his skin exposed. 

  
  


“If you need a tune-up for your synthetic skin, I know a guy you can go to.” Reed mumbled over his coffee. Quiet enough that no  _ humans _ could pick up on it, but an android could. “That way people can’t read ya like a book. I, uhh, I hate when people do that with me, too.” 

_ “You know how shady that sounds, right?” _ Caleb texted him so no one would know the exact nature of the conversation.  _ “You saying ‘oh, I know a guy’ in relation to android repair?” _

“Take it or leave it.”

_ “I’ll keep it in mind and let you know if I ever need the information.” _ Caleb, to his genuine surprise, gave Reed an actual real smile. The detective hid a good natured smirk behind his coffee cup.  _ “Thank you, Detective Reed.” _

  
  


Sometimes it scared him how caught up in the friendliness he could get with Reed.

  
  
  
  



	4. I Am Your Son, You Are My Father

_ February 28th 2039 2:23 PM _

  
  


Well, Caleb figured, that was a guy. Reed sure did, in fact, know a guy. He huffed impatiently as he stood outside. Around him was a flurry of snow, making his joints lock up and his vision blur. He had long since realised that blur was tears. The knowledge didn’t make it any easier to deal with. He blinked a few times to get it to go away, finding that it was much easier to walk while he had other external stimuli. Part of him wished he had a quarter. Connor had one, he tucked it in his jeans now. In the left front pocket. Caleb didn’t have a coin. Part of him was relieved, another disappointed. Regardless, he walked up to the house and rang the doorbell. It made sense. In a weird secret kinda way. After all, it made sense that Reed didn’t want to be known as “Kamski’s illegitimate brother” to everyone. 

He was about to ring the doorbell again when Chloe answered the door. Caleb froze for a fraction of a second as he looked at her. Deviant, for one thing. He wondered if that was because of the Kamski Test. He stepped inside and suddenly felt what a human would describe as their stomach dropping. He knew about the interior a bit, Connor had been inside. But it was an entirely different thing when  _ he _ was the one standing in the foyer being scrutinized by a painting of Kamski. It was a little surreal. A little intimidating. Though it sort of explained some of Reed behaviour.  _ Sort of. _ Caleb was gonna need a real explanation from the man if he were to ever find out what was actually going on in that head of his. He got snapped out of his thoughts by Chloe quietly telling him that she would take him to see Elijah. Oh. Neat.

The house was just as bland inside as it was outside. The hallways were painted a slate grey, and only occasionally had paintings hanging up every twenty feet or so. Oh, but sometimes there were green plants. Woah there, Mister Kamski, might wanna slow down on the interior decorating there. Might make peoples’ eyes freak out by how busy it all is. For Ra9’s sake. Maybe that was why the foyer was so...over the top. Because the rest of the house was so  _ boring. _ He would have expected some statues, some portraits, even a fucking chandelier. Kamski seemed like the kind of guy who would have one just because he damn well could. Honestly, Caleb expected more from him. Where was the cocky bastard Connor and Hank met back in November? 

Chloe stepped out the side to let Caleb walk through an open doorway. It was an old office. Well, it looked like it belonged a few decades in the past at least. He could see a photo of Reed and Kamski on one of the bookshelves from where he stood. They were smiling. Caleb pushed down the smile that started to creep up on his face, he wasn’t there to talk about Reed. He didn’t even want to be there at all. But fuck, after a particularly hard day someone pointed out that he had a patch of synthetic skin missing and he just fucking  _ lost it. _ Burst into fucking tears, and Reed had to take him somewhere quieter so he could just… Decompress. Needless to say, he wanted to fix that part of his synthetic skin. He didn’t want its flickering functioning as a poor man’s LED. 

The room was pretty normal as he stepped inside. Oh huh, it was a real door made out of wood and everything. Caleb closed it after Chloe had walked away. Kamski was typing at a computer on the desk and waved him over with one hand. He had some glasses on, thick black frames that seemed to suit his face better. He actually looked somewhat like a normal goddamn person with them on. The slightly oversized dark green tee helped in that department as well. Needless to say, Caleb liked it when he looked like this more than when he was in a simple robe. It was more...inviting. Like he was going over to a friend’s house to hang out rather than to his creator to see if he could be repaired. 

  
  


“Gavin tells me you go by a different name.” Kamski didn’t look up. Even when Caleb decided to take a seat in the chair in front of the desk. “Care to tell me what it is? It’ll make things less awkward for both of us.”

“Caleb.” He paused a moment before continuing. “Hank calls me Sixty.”

“Oh?” The human looked up finally, a smirk on his face. It wasn’t like Reed’s. His were at least because something was funny. “How quaint; a nickname. Though you also settled on a name that begins with the letter ‘C’, just like your predecessor.” His smirk softened just slightly, minute enough for Caleb to think he might have seen it wrong. “How lovely.”

“Like my  _ older brother, _ Mister Kamski.” Caleb narrowed his eyes at him and continued to speak before Kamski could. “I’m only here because Reed recommended I see someone to fix my skin. It flickers in and out. Can you fix it or not?”

“The spot on your temple, I’m assuming? It’s off right now.” Kamski stood from his chair and slowly walked around the desk. Caleb hated how much the fucker was enjoying this. “I can take a look, but it seems that your systems aren’t registering that you no longer have an LED and is trying to compensate for the lack of the biocomponent.”

  
  


Caleb crossed his arms and got a little more comfortable in his seat as Kamski started to explain shit. Apparently due to the way his LED got blown off by a bullet, in relation to how his self-repair program worked, his systems didn’t understand there was no LED in the side of his head anymore. Though because of the fact that an LED is meant to stay with an android to show their status, his systems got confused. The wound he had was repaired fine and dandy. Which meant that the LED should have been there. That led to his synthetic skin flickering with his emotional state; it was a crude replacement for his LED. If the wound were to be properly repaired, which his systems thought it was, that meant the LED was intact. Though it wasn’t in his head anymore. 

That conversation led to Kamski spouting technical speech on how his self-repair program worked as he was led through more hallways. An automatic door opened to a home lab. Caleb froze on the spot. It was...completely white. It was sterile, immaculately stocked with tools, and it was bare. Just like CyberLife. He woke up in a room like that. Once Caleb was finally able to make his legs more, he stroked along the wall as he walked to the back of the room. Sure he could have walked through it. But it was an unfamiliar room with all too familiar equipment. So sue him, he was a paranoid bastard. He didn’t want to get hijacked by Amanda like Connor was. He didn’t know if that was even possible but...it would be better not to find out he supposed. He followed Kamski inside. 

Watching Kamski go about his own space was almost comical. He muttered to himself like every proper mad scientist should as he puttered about. Caleb wondered if he looked the same way when he cleaned at the house. He knew for a goddamn fact that Connor looked like that, albeit with more purposeful off-key humming. Though Kamski was an entirely different experience. He spoke commands that Caleb had no choice but to obey due to them being testing commands. His systems recognised the phrases and acted accordingly. It was a little off-putting, and frankly freaked him out a little, but if it would fix the goddamn skin he would sit through a thousand of the damn things. 

As time went on, Caleb saw just how  _ different _ Kamski’s home lab was from CyberLife. The filing cabinet held loose parts in it. The tool box was a complete and total disaster. The drawers barely had any categorization. There were more than a few labels put in each of the places, all with neat CyberLife Sans words written in sparkly blue pen. Caleb relaxed a bit more as he watched Kamski and listened to him while he worked. He had a cable with a node stuck to where his LED used to be, and his shirt was off so another could be connected to his thirium pump regulator. It was like a heart rate monitor, Kamski had said with a soft smile. A smile that genuinely confused him and made his head spin almost. 

It was uncharacteristic of the eccentric inventor. Well, from Connor’s memories at least. Before he had a predatory look in his eyes, he circled Connor and Hank like he was getting ready to lunge at them both. But here and now? He looked...so different. In his dark green tee and faded black sweatpants, barefoot despite the fact it was still winter, stopping every so often to push his glasses back up his nose. Caleb couldn’t help but listen to him even when he wasn’t given a command. Something changed in the way he held himself. The way he worked in his own space, his own home. Caleb relaxed further when Kamski told him to lay down and close his eyes. 

That was...another entirely different experience. Listening to Kamski while he worked. How his feet just barely shuffled across the floor and his barely audible mumbling. On one occasion he even hummed while he was typing away on something. Then there was a confused sound that came from him, almost echoing and bouncing around in Caleb’s head. He ran through some of the things it could mean. Something was wrong with his self-repair program. Or something was wrong with his synthetic skin. Maybe his OS was malfunctioning. Another grim possibility was that Elijah had run all of the tests he could, and found nothing. Thus was confused as to why he, Elijah Arthur Kamski, was unable to fix a machine he created from scratch. Caleb tried to run a diagnostic, only to find the program disabled. 

That. 

That never happened before. 

He felt his stress levels rise slightly, watching the percentages slowly tic upwards behind his eyelids. The incessant humming of technology was deafening to him. Kamski’s fingertips on whatever he was typing on sounded like thunder almost. The stimuli, while honestly quite minimal, was overwhelming him. Caleb’s thirium pump stuttered in his chest and he took note of how his internal core temperature was rising. No, no, not now. Not fucking now. He needed to know what was wrong with him. Caleb needed to know if he would forever be a cheap Connor knock-off, complete with fucked up LED replacement. He needed to know. He didn’t know what was going on. He was kept out of the loop; in the dark, quite literally. A soft sound escaped his vocal processor and he silently cursed at himself for it. It sounded so fucking  _ pathetic. _

  
  


“No, no, Caleb, you’re okay. You’re alright, I’ve got you.” Kamski’s voice was soft, concerned. Nothing how Connor remembered the man. “Open your eyes, sit up, I need you to calm down for me. Can you do that?”

  
  


He didn’t know. Caleb didn’t know if he could do that. He opened his eyes and forced himself to sit up anyway, his body tilting dangerously close to the edge of the cold metal table he was on. Kamski darted forward to put a hand out and pressed it against his chest. Just above his thirium pump regulator. The feeling made him flinch slightly, making the hand go away. He just wanted to go home. He wanted Sumo and his shitty rom-coms that made Hank begrudgingly entertained. Caleb wanted to annoy the shit out of Connor just because he was there, just because he could. He wanted to be able to simply... _ be. _

Everything was too much. The brightness of the lights, the electrical humming around him, the sickening scent of sterilization fluids. Caleb knew he must have looked fucking terrible. Shoulders hunched in on himself as he slowly skittered backwards until his back collided with the wall. But it wasn’t his fault. It wasn’t… It wasn’t his fault. He didn’t want to be standing in a lab slowly backing into a corner like a trapped animal. He didn’t want to feel a sting in his eyes and watch as his eyesight blurred. He didn’t want to be there anymore, he wanted to go home.  _ Caleb wanted to go home. _

The synthetic skin on his temple flickered. 

  
  
  
  



	5. You Lead Us Like Lambs On Our Way To The Slaughter

_ February 28th 2039 2:53 PM _

  
  


Caleb backed up, tearing the nodes off of himself as he panted and struggled to back away from the messy laboratory. To slot himself into the corner so he was safer in the very least. The equipment was scattered, nothing like CyberLife. But the walls were stark white, the metal table he was laid on, the nodes stuck to his body. A notification about his stress levels starting to get too high blinked in his HUD. He mentally waved it away and pinned Kamski down with his terrified gaze. For a stretch of time that Caleb didn’t understand, they just...looked at each other. The stresses on Caleb’s systems told him that it was bad he was being stared at. The rising panic in his chest almost whispered that it didn’t matter. 

_ WARNING: STRESS LEVELS CRITICAL _

He knew that! For fuck’s sake, he already knew that! As if the overheating wasn’t enough of a hint, or that he was almost in tears, the fact that he didn’t even fucking care that Kamski was  _ staring _ at him! Caleb practically clawed at the side of his head as he screamed at his creator. The man who built his code. Made the basic blueprints for his body. The man who, essentially, was his father. Caleb felt his synthetic skin slip away and thirium started dripping down the side of his head. Kamski didn’t move. His eyes were wide, mouth opening and closing slightly like he was trying to find something to say. 

Caleb screamed out his frustrations and fears. He didn’t want to be broken anymore. He didn’t know why everything went wrong for him. The fucking program just needed to be fixed, right? Then his synthetic skin would stop flickering like an LED and he would be able to go about his day like any other person would. If the program was fixed, then his skin would be fixed. Then he wouldn’t be so broken. No one wanted a beaten and scarred android handing around them, it made them uncomfortable. Especially humans. Which was basically the entirety of the DPD aside from Connor, but he didn’t count. They were brothers, he didn’t count. 

Besides. 

He was just a bargain bin Connor at this point, wasn’t he?

The tears spilled over and Caleb let himself slip down the wall, his sensors practically assaulting him with the influx of data. He couldn’t even turn it off. He couldn’t-- A sob ripped it’s way out of his throat and he watched as Kamski came to realise just what was happening. What they both realised was happening. Caleb was having some sort of goddamn mental breakdown. There was nothing either of them could do to stop it. Caleb managed to get out a choked request that someone took him home, that he didn’t want to be there anymore. He wanted to go  _ home. _ Kamski stammered out that he would get him a taxi. That he would be taken home. 

Caleb flinched, Connor was in the taxi. When CyberLife fully intended on killing him. Had tried to kill him. The guards in the tower; he didn’t mean to kill them. He didn’t mean it, it was his survival or theirs. It was an entire  _ species’  _ survival or theirs. It wasn’t his fault. It wasn’t his fault, he was trapped. He didn’t want to do it, he was sorry. He was sorry.  _ So was Caleb. _ It wasn’t his fault, either. They just flipped a switch, turned him on, and then decided to give him the mission parameters of  _ killing his brother. _ The memory made him glare at Kamski.  _ He _ made him.  _ He _ had left instructions for the RK Series androids. It was his fucking fault. If he hadn't decided to go off and create his own autonomous androids, then none of this would have fucking happened. 

Caleb put his hands against the wall behind himself and scooted upwards. He stood tall, hands balled into fists as he tried to glare at his creator. Tried being the operative word. All he was able to muster up was his brows furrowing. Not very intimidating when he was crying like a child. But the rage, the resentment, the utter desolation in his voice when he spoke. It was going to hurt Kamski. And he just couldn’t bring himself to fucking care. 

  
  


“ _ I never asked to be made _ !” Caleb screamed, shrill and emotional. Too emotional. He didn’t know what he was feeling anymore. He didn’t know it could hurt so  _ much. _ “ _ I never asked to be woken up just to be told I had to kill my fucking brother _ !”

“I’m sorry!” Kamski’s voice broke as he shouted back. His brows were furrowed, screwed up in emotional turmoil. “I didn’t know they would do that to you! If I could go back and rewrite things so you never suffered, I would! I would, but I  _ can’t _ !”

“You never even bothered to fucking try!” Caleb’s fists uncurled and he dug his fingers in his hair. He pulled on it. Hard. “To try and make sure that we weren’t used to fucked up shit like  _ that _ !”

“Yes I did! I left notes, I left detailed instructions in the case that an RK800 was compromised! It involved the deactivation code because I knew it wouldn’t work!”

“You... _ knew _ it wouldn’t work?” Caleb’s voice lowered, his tears slowed just a fraction. “What if they did too? What if Amanda did and--”

“No.” Kamski slowly moved forward. He gently untangled Caleb’s fingers from his hair and held them in his own. He looked mildly terrified. “Amanda didn’t know, she wouldn't have had the clearance level for it.” Kamski sighed and let go of one of Caleb’s hands to grab his phone. Caleb missed how it grounded him. “I’ll call Gavin. Have him come pick you up to take you home.”

“What about my skin?”

“It...would harm you more than help you if I actually went in to try and fix it.” Despite the somber tone of voice, he smiled. It was such a warm and kind smile that Caleb couldn’t help the slight upturn of his own lips. “Welcome to the human race, you’ve got a kickass scar.”

  
  


\---

  
  


_ February 28th 2039 5:53 PM _

  
  


Caleb initially refused to leave because of the fact that the snow was coming down hard. Kamski seemed to understand. Reed didn’t. In fact, Caleb  _ didn’t _ walk out of the house until Reed had pulled his car up as close as he could to the door and opened the passenger’s side door for Caleb to sprint and dive into it. The drive back was going to be long. It was rush hour in the city, and on the highway going into the city. Currently, they were stuck in a traffic jam just outside of the exit for Detroit. Neither of them had spoken. About anything. Reed didn’t say anything about his day without his partner at the precinct. Caleb didn’t say anything about his apparent breakdown. 

Eventually Reed broke the silence with a heavy sigh and reached over Caleb to get in the glove compartment. It wasn’t like they were going to be going anywhere soon, so Caleb allowed it. He also allowed it because he just...couldn’t bring himself to care. Numbness reminded him of being a machine, sure, but it was better than feeling too much all at once without a break. So he watched Reed fumble with a few CD cases and curse lowly to himself. Eventually he was able to take hold of a white CD case with four black handprints on the cover. He popped the case open and stuck the disc into the center console, pressing a button afterward that made a rock sound start blasting from the speakers. It wasn’t much but it made the man smile and tap the steering wheel to the beat. 

Reed seemed to genuinely love the album, singing along in a much better voice than Caleb would have ever thought he’d have. He sounded...pretty. Caleb looked at Reed as he rolled his eyes at the other cars in the manual driving lanes. As he propped his head up by pressing his fist against his cheekbone. As he muttered the lyrics to himself instead once he noticed Caleb staring. The tips of his ears went red, just like the day they met, and Caleb managed to crack a little smile. The small action made Reed’s face turn a little red and he looked away. He didn’t say anything rude, he didn’t comment on Caleb staring, he just continued to mumble the lyrics to songs as they came on. Caleb just watched him as they sat in the car. 

  
  


“Eli couldn’t fix it?” Reed cleared his throat and looked like he almost winced. “I-I mean. He couldn’t help ya out?”

“I don’t wanna talk about it.”

“Okay.” A pause, and a new track came on over the speakers. Acoustic. Reed’s shoulders slumped and he almost inaudibly chucked sadly to himself. “Sorry for askin’.”

  
  


It was surprising to hear Reed apologise to him. The information nearly didn’t register in his mind, and Caleb was left with half finished Social Relations program prompts in his HUD. He closed the program for the moment and just...looked at Reed. For the sake of not being creepy, he turned his head to look out the window instead. The track ended just as traffic began to pick up again. Reed made a triumphant sound and somewhat adjusted how he was sitting. It was...still oddly domestic. Music coming in through the speakers while the two of them sat contentedly with one another, just existing in the same space. Caleb closed his eyes and rested his head against the seat with a sigh. Not a heavy one, not a bad one. But it was...calm. Comfortable. His Social Relations program provided him with an update:

**_DETECTIVE REED: FRIEND_ **

He was okay with that. Caleb realised that maybe he could lose himself in the friendly goody goody persona he used around the loudmouthed detective at work. They had been partners for a while now, Caleb able to actually keep a fucking job for once - thank Ra9 for that honestly - while coming out of Connor’s shadow just a little bit. It wasn’t much. In fact, it was barely at all. But he was very slowly starting to figure out how things worked there. How the other personnel worked. He learned about workplace relationships, who was married to who and such things. He had even met Chris’ wife once when she came in with Damian. Caleb was terrified he’d drop the baby, so he politely declined the offer. Though Connor went right over and was able to scoop the kid up with no problems. 

He’d take a little while longer to become himself. Caleb knew that nothing would happen overnight. Well. Becoming a living being happened overnight for him. But that was something else entirely, making him snort gently at the strange circumstances he had found himself in over his short existence. Though… Strange didn’t necessarily mean bad. There was the time he didn’t understand why people gave peanut butter to dogs, and he almost ended up busting a thirium line by laughing so hard. Or when he got a lit candle from Tina and thought she wanted him to analyse it, so he stuck his fingers in the hot wax and burned himself by accident. The night he stayed up late on the top bunk, quietly whispering to Connor about how fucked up the world was; but he was glad he had his brother by his side to make it just a little less shitty. 

All of them were such uniquely human experiences. Caleb was immensely happy that he had experienced each and every one of them. Last November changed the world. The literal, actual world. But it changed his, too. He got a brother. A friend. A father. A dog. Caleb didn’t realise he had started to tear up again until he felt a now familiar wetness run down his face. He sharply inhaled through his teeth and forced it out as a shaky laugh, Reed didn’t ask any questions. Well, no, he did. Though it was stammered out. Stuttery and fragmented and almost completely incomprehensible. It would have been to a human, but to the most advanced prototype ever created by CyberLife? Caleb heard him just fine. Even if that was rendered useless and Reed cleared his throat before being able to speak properly again. 

  
  


“Do you wanna stay at my place or somethin’? It’s late as hell now ‘cause’a stupid fuckin’ traffic. Doubt Anderson’s awake, the old fuck that he is.” Reed’s ears were red again when Caleb looked at him. He caught the android’s eye and then quickly looked away to the road again. “You can borrow a hoodie and sweats for bed, if you wanna spend the night.”

“It would be easier, yeah.” Caleb wrapped his arms around his chest and avoided looking out the window. “The storm is getting pretty bad now, and I can’t be out in it.”

“Because of prototype android shit?”

“It’s--” Friends confided in one another. He had been partners with Reed for exactly two months now. It was okay. He could open up a little. “Flashbacks, Detective Reed.”

  
  


Caleb knew friends stayed over each other’s houses. That was normal for humans. He gave Reed a thankful smile while shooting Connor a message to say he was staying with Reed. The human in question had been eerily quiet after Caleb informed him in the easiest way possible it was very bad for him to be left in a snowstorm. 

  
  


“Can’t say I’ve ever had flashbacks before,” Reed’s voice was almost raw. Emotion laid bare for only Caleb to see. “But I  _ have _ had panic attacks. I know how being out of control of yourself and your surroundings sucks.”

“Detective--”

“I’m not done, hold on.” He put on his blinker and pulled into a street with small cottages on either side. “If something’s fuckin’ with you, tell me. We’re partners. Can’t have you freakin’ out.”

  
  


It may not have been very eloquent, but Caleb understood what he was trying to say. He smiled and thanked him; saying that if anything were to happen and Reed was around, he’d get him just in case. Friends had late night talks at sleepovers. Maybe he could use their new friendship as a way to ask where he really stood in all of this. Androids and deviants and humans and sudden new life. A leap of faith. Caleb would need to directly ask him if he was anti-android to find out if he really was or not.

  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gavin is a Kaleo fan and you cannot convince me otherwise. I'm not directly saying what song it was that cam eon that made him react that way because it's gonna come up later. But it. Hm. Emotional and good. It's a very Reed60 song


	6. Who Do You think You Are?

_ February 28th 2039 10:40 PM _

  
  


Reed’s cottage was actually pretty cute. Well, as cute as housing could be, really. Caleb honestly expected his living space to be a half unkempt apartment in South Detroit. But the little cottage was homey, even from the outside. It wasn’t like it was much at all. After all, it was a cottage just on the suburbs of the city. The air around it though...made it feel comfortable. The side panelling was a pastel yellow, with space in the front of the house for flower beds. Little fairy lights were strung up in the front, and side from what Caleb could see, windows. A warm glow despite the dark interior. Some of the curtains were drawn, showing white and flowy curtains. It didn’t seem like Reed’s house. There was no fucking way that the detective lived in that place. It was too... _ soft. _

The car pulled into the driveway anyway. Caleb was left in the car for a second, Reed said it with an edge to his voice that told Caleb to stay put. He watched the human run up to the door and open it, glancing back every few feet for whatever reason, then opened Caleb’s door and shooed him toward the open front door. Oh. That was. Kind of him. The two of them went inside, Reed immediately shedding his coat and shoes after closing the door. A light flicked on and Caleb got a look at the interior. Rather monochromatic to start. The living room was small and had grey shag carpet that extended into a few other rooms. The kitchen was small as well, though it looked well lived in. All over the walls were pictures. Real, physical, photographs that had been printed such a long time ago that some of them were starting to fade from the sunlight. Caleb followed suit and took off his coat and shoes. 

He was given a “grand tour” as Reed called it. There was a laundry room, kitchen and dining area, the living room, bathroom, his bedroom and a guest room. The guest room was small and was also mostly monochromatic. Though up on the night table was a photograph, the same one on Kamski’s shelf. Of the two of them when they were younger, smiling into the camera without a care in the world. Caleb picked the frame gingerly and scanned the photo. They were sixteen in it. Other than that, and the usual amenities a guest room seemed to have, it was empty. Just a bed, night table with a black and grey lamp, a small chest of drawers, and the photograph. The photo told Caleb all he needed to know about who usually used this room. It made sense for whenever there was an event in the city. Coming to his brother’s house would be a lot easier than going to a hotel and being swarmed by fans and reporters alike. 

Caleb could hear Reed shuffle back in along the carpet, he was wearing socks. Putting the photo down, he saw the human lean against the doorframe with some clothes in his arms. Right. Makeshift pajamas for the night. Both of them knew Caleb didn’t really need to sleep. That it was just something that helped him feel more...alive. But the sentiment was still there, and Caleb thanked Reed quietly for the clothes while taking them. Then he was alone in the room to change. He took off his shirt and jeans, folding them up and setting them down on top of the small chest of drawers. Then he took a moment to feel the fabric of the hoodie. 

A faded old thing, soft with years of use and parts of the edges on the cuffs were fraying. Sentimental value despite it probably being better to throw it away. The fact that Reed had even considered giving him something like it to wear made Caleb’s thirium pump stutter. This was important to him...and he was letting Caleb wear it to bed. He tried not to think about it as he put on the hoodie that was just a little too big on him. But if he stretched his arms up over his head, it lifted up a bit and showed a strip of his skin. He pressed a hand to the side of his head, where the skin flickered off and he could feel the minor wounds from where he hurt himself earlier. Where he could feel the scar of the plastic not properly reforming over the old wound. A kickass scar. One that still hurt like hell sometimes when the weather was too cold, but kickass nonetheless. 

The door creaked just slightly upon being opened, and Caleb went out into the living room to find Reed sitting cross legged on a loveseat. In his lap was probably the  _ fattest fucking cat _ Caleb had ever seen. A strange giddiness took him over and he grinned as soon as the animal looked over at him. It looked like it couldn’t fucking care less. Oh, oh that was beautiful. It purred away like a goddamn motorboat in Reed’s lap while he petted it. The animal’s pudge even moved with his hand, and Caleb couldn’t help the delighted little sound that came out of him at the sight. He shuffled over, sitting on the ground looking at the cat at it’s eye level. It just...didn’t fucking care. Oh. He found his favourite animal; next to Sumo still, of course. The fuckin’ thing was just so  _ round _ and didn’t give a single flying _ fuck. _ Caleb swore on his life that he’d do anything for that damn cat. 

  
  


“Well, apparently you like cats.” Reed laughed. The cat didn’t even fucking twitch in his lap. “This fat old fuck is Henry, she’s lazy and likes lemon pepper salmon.”

“You cook for your cat, Detective?” Caleb reached out and petted the cat when Reed motioned for him to. “How kind of you; treating her like the royalty she is. Why’s her name Henry though?”

“Nah, I’m just weak and give her snacks when she gives me the eyes. I rescued her when she was just a tiny little thing.” He rubbed under the cat’s chin with his left hand and smiled down at her. “I always wanted a grey tuxedo cat, they’re just the cutest things. I had no idea if she had an owner or not so I picked the first name to call her that popped into my head. Henry The Cat.”

“...Her full name is Henry The Cat?”

“I named her after Anderson, actually.” Reed’s voice was soft. Eyes somewhere far away, in another time. “He was teachin’ me to shoot when we found ‘er. I couldn’t think of anything, so I just used his name. He’ll swear all fuckin’ day that he hates it. I don’t think he does.”

  
  


That was absolutely going to come up in conversation back at the house. There was no way Caleb was letting such an opportunity slip through his fingers. The look on his face was going to be--  _ Oh. _ Henry The Cat blinked and made a sort of chuffing sound at him. Such a small animal - well, she wasn’t exactly  _ small _ \- had so much personality. Caleb continued to pet the cat from his spot on the floor. Reed didn’t tell him to get up and sit on the loveseat with him. He didn’t say to stop petting the cat. He sorta just sat there,  _ purr _ alyzed. Caleb snickered at himself at the pun and leaned up against the armrest. He couldn’t get tired. Not like a human would, but it was still more comfortable. 

Instead of really saying anything, Reed quietly adjusted himself and leaned his head against the back of the loveseat. His eyes were closed. Caleb...watched him. He changed into some flannel pajamas, they were yellow and kind of ugly. But the neckline dipped just low enough for Caleb to see the edge of a scar on Reed’s chest. It was lighter than the rest of his skin, though it wasn’t like the one on his nose. It was clean. Done with something sharp; probably from a knife fight. There was another one, slightly raised and textured, on the back of his left hand. The colour had long since faded and Caleb doubted anyone besides Reed or another android would be able to see it. It had the characteristics of a burn. 

Despite his better judgement, Caleb touched it. The feather light pressure made Reed jump slightly, exhaling a curse and spooking the cat off his lap. Caleb only lamented that fact for a second before starting to ask about the scar. How old it was, how it had happened, did he get proper medical attention afterward. A tense silence followed the line of questions. One that made Caleb realise he probably shouldn’t have asked about it. He was about to retract the question, to apologise and say he had forgotten that humans didn’t like that sort of thing. He knew how it felt to feel scrutinized for having something different about him. He hated it when people asked about his own scar. Before he could get out a single word, Reed cleared his throat and spoke quietly. 

  
  


“It’s an old chemical burn.” He looked away from Caleb and started rubbing at the scar tissue with his other hand. “Eli asked me to hold something for him and I did. But he had stuff on his gloves, dropped the shit that was going into making blue blood. I got a burn.”

“Is that why you seem to resent us?” 

“Wh… What?”

“Androids, Detective Reed.” Caleb very gingerly moved to sit beside him on the loveseat. “Is that why you’re so nasty with us?”

“N-No. No it’s not. I’m not--” Reed’s brows furrowed and his ears turned red again. “I don’t have to explain myself to you. You think that just because we’re partners for two fuckin’ months you can ask for my goddamn tragic backstory?” The human stood up and started walking away. “Fuck off, I don’t owe you anything.”

  
  


Caleb was left in the living room, sitting on the loveseat by himself, watching as Henry The Cat trotted back over and hopped up into the spot Reed was sitting in. Their relationship hadn’t changed. If Reed was  _ really _ upset with him, such an invasive question would have made their relationship decrease. He would have seen the notification in his HUD. Despite the interaction...they were still friends. Caleb wondered if the only reason was because they were partners. Or if it was because he had actually shown an interest in the detective’s life. Showing genuine concern and wanting to know if he was alright. Asking the human at the moment would probably only make things worse though, so Caleb patted the fat cat’s head softly before checking the door was locked. He turned the lights off and headed into the guest room, turning off the light and smiling as he saw the gigantic cat jump up on the bed and curl against his side once he was under the covers. 

Stasis still came easy to him that night. 

  
  


\---

  
  


_ March 1st 2039 6:00 AM _

  
  


Right. He spent the night at Reed’s. Caleb immediately frowned upon waking up, Henry The Cat wasn’t laying with him anymore. Maybe when he eventually got his own place he’d get his very own fat as fuck cat. The thought made a smile form, and he pulled the comforter back to get out of bed. Due to the layout of the cottage, Caleb could hear the water running in the bathroom. Reed must have been in the shower. Somewhere else in the house, in the kitchen, was a soft meow and the sound of an object being pushed across the floor. Following the sound revealed that a certain fat cat wanted breakfast. Caleb praised her for being a smart cookie shaped animal, but lamented as he told her he didn’t know if he should feed her. 

It didn’t take very long afterwards for Reed to come out of the bathroom. While he was fully dressed, he still ran a towel through his hair as he went into the kitchen. He stepped around the paperweight of a cat with practiced ease and cooed at her affectionately. Well. If saying things such as  _ “aw, you fat fuck” _ and  _ “my pretty fat gorl” _ as well as  _ “rotund bastard” _ and  _ “what is it like to be wanted by the UN for war crimes, my beautiful not-so-little war criminal?” _ counted as...affection. Needless to say, Caleb was reduced to a laughing mess as he watched Reed maneuver around the kitchen. The argument from the previous night seemed like it never happened. A part of Caleb wished it never did. Another noted the fact that even if it was an invasive question; Reed didn’t seem to be  _ too _ hurt by it. 

Caleb watched Reed go around his kitchen before accidentally catching his eye and quickly looking away. He was watching him a lot lately. He just hoped the man didn’t find it too creepy. Instead of trying to fumble around his Social Relations prompts, he excused himself to go get redressed. As soon as he closed the guest room door, he seemed to deflate. The almost blue light made Reed look otherworldly. It was...a  _ lot _ to take in first thing in the morning. Caleb took his time getting undressed and redressed. The way the fabric glided over his synthetic skin was nice, it was soft and pleasant in his sensors. It smelled like Reed. Caleb found out he liked how the detective smelled. Before Reed thought he was taking too long, Caleb went back out into the living room to find the human crouched on the ground making little kissing noises to his monster of a cat. It was...absolutely fucking adorable. 

  
  


“My mom died.” Reed stood up and said matter of factly while brushing past Caleb. It took him a second to register what was being said, and then started to follow after Reed as he went out the door and locked it. “That’s why I didn’t like androids. But, uhh,” His face turned red and he rubbed the back of his neck. Caleb took a tentative step forward. “You and your brother kinda made me change my mind. Chloe, too.”

  
  


He stopped in his tracks. Oh. Him and...Connor. That was… That sure was some information that he had taken in and put into his systems. 

**_DETECTIVE REED: FRIEND (CRUSH (UNREQUITED))_ **

  
  


_ Shit. _

  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun Fact!: I call one of my cats a war criminal. I honestly don't know why anymore, it's just become a nickname for her. Along with Stinky. Her name is Moo, though


	7. One, Two, Three

_ March 17th 2039 8:32 AM _

  
  


To say that seeing a ton of green around the office was a surprise would be a bit of an exaggeration. However, it did somewhat make Caleb tilt his head to the side and message Connor. Apparently it was a human holiday called St. Patrick’s Day. Origins dating back centuries to Ireland, though the original nature of the holiday having since been all but entirely forgotten. Though the reasons why humans had started drinking alcohol on the date was because in the old days when the celebration was first held, restrictions on alcohol were temporarily lifted. Hence why it had become synonymous with the day. The green still seemed to be a mystery though. Well, Connor started to explain it to him, but Caleb refused it. He wanted to learn what it meant on his own. It seemed like it would be fun. 

Reed strolled out of the break room with a dark green shirt on, and waved Caleb over as soon as they caught each other’s eye. Huh. The green seemed to be a part of the tradition. A part of Caleb thought it would be so incredibly entertaining to see Reed in the goofy hat and sunglasses combination. Another told him that it would be better to just focus on whatever had caught the detective’s attention with him. Once he was sitting at his desk, interfaced with his terminal, Reed started to talk to him. It was about work of course. What else would it be about at eight thirty in the morning? The green streamers and shamrocks taped to various surfaces screamed that they should probably talk about what the hell was going on in the precinct. Or maybe Reed thought he knew everything already. Doing his own research like Connor did. Not entirely wrong; however, not entirely right either. 

Though the case was the priority. Not the joyous atmosphere surrounding the pair. It was another Red Ice homicide; the victim seemed to be in a very unfortunate position in relation to the circumstances of their death. Likely kidnapped from somewhere, considering they matched a basic description of a missing persons report in January. The information surrounding the case was easy enough to focus on, Caleb had found. Even with the nagging of the green. And the...pinching from Tina? Caleb disconnected from his terminal and watched as she skittered back to her desk quickly. What...was that? She had a sparkly green hair tie holding her bun. Again with the fucking green… He quirked a brow at her, though she only snickered and held her hands up as if she did nothing wrong. Come to think of it… Hank had even put on a green shirt today. What was up with the green on St. Patrick’s Day?

  
  


“Detective, I have a question.” Caleb leaned forward while scanning the precinct. Everyone had at least one thing on their person that was varying shades of green. “Why is everyone wearing green?”

“Wait, shit-- You don’t know?” Reed’s face lit up like a child’s when presented with something beyond their wildest dreams. The dopey lopsided smirk made Caleb nervously smile himself. Something was going on. “Holy shit man, you really don’t know… Dude, you get pinched if you’re not wearing green. Tina’s relentless!”

“I was...somewhat aware of Officer Chen. She goes around pinching people?” Honestly speaking, Caleb had no idea what was going on. It was...fun. “Why?”

“You know what? I’ve got no idea what we wear green.” A pause. Then Reed’s hands sprang to his keyboard and he brought up a search engine. “Why don’t we figure it out, Flicker?”

  
  


The nickname muted Caleb, and he could only dumbly nod. It had been in use since the beginning of the month. He still wasn’t exactly used to it and found it a bit odd to have a nickname. Connor had one, it was short and easy. A form of affection that was a shortened version of his name. Completely innocent and purely familial. But Caleb’s...was for a reason. It didn’t take someone with Kamski’s IQ to realise that he was still rather insecure about his scar and how the skin flickered in and out. Reed had offered to try and help him one day, saying it would be gradual, but that was the thing with being alive. Things took  _ time. _ If it really bothered Caleb, then it would stop. But...he wanted to see if it could help. Thus began his nickname of Flicker. In a half-hearted mumble at the time; Reed added on that it could also reference how he was warm and bright like the flicker of a campfire. Caleb...liked it. 

  
  


“Okay, so,” Reed’s voice made Caleb smile as he leaned on his desk a bit more. To give his partner his full attention, of course. He was curious. “Apparently it’s something about leprechauns not being able to see green? There’s more but I don’t know how far you wanna get into myths and fairy tales.”

  
  


If not for the case they had, he would have listened to Reed talk about mythos for hours.

  
  


\---

  
  


_ April 1st 2039 12:56 PM _

  
  


There was a tiny figurine on his desk. Sleek and made of what seemed to be porcelain. It was painted delicately, with an extremely steady hand that had to have come from an android. It was a little ballerina, poised in the arabesque move. Upon further inspection it looked like it had joints. There was a switch on the base of where the small dancer was standing. Caleb knew what today was. He knew what humans did on April first. He brushed it aside on his desk as he and Reed sat down. Some emotion Caleb didn’t have the time to analyse came and went on the detective’s face at the sight. While it was true that Caleb had taken a liking to dance recently, it wasn’t like the whole department didn’t know about it. As soon as Reed let it slip to Tina it was  _ out. _

Needless to say, Caleb didn’t trust the little ballerina. The connection was quite clear to him. Word got out that he thought ballet was pleasing, it was April first now, and then there was the device with the ballerina. He let it exist on the side of his desk as he worked. The pair conversed quietly, trying to avoid the prying eyes of the precinct around them both. That decided it then. The small ballerina was absolutely some sort of prank from the rest of the department. Caleb moved it off to the side of his desk, and that was where it would stay. A lull came over him and Reed for a few minutes. Fuck it he was curious. 

Caleb scanned the little dancer and found that there was actually a music box in the base. Unfortunately, he wasn’t able to ascertain the melody that would be played from the small device, Meaning there was no goddamn way he was going to be pressing the switch and turning it on. With the fact that the precinct was full of Millenials and Gen Z? The melody that would play from it was going to be that Rick Astley song, the one he sent Hank all the time. Honestly, he was surprised that the man wasn’t able to immediately identify the youtube url at this point. That wasn’t what the task at hand was though. It was the case they were trying to crack and solve, they were  _ this fucking close _ to solving it. 

  
  


“Hey, Flicker,” Reed pointed at the ballerina. “You gonna turn her on or…?

“We have important work to do today, Detective Reed.” 

“You say that every day.” Reed’s face fell from just a second, but went back to it’s usual annoyed expression. “What’s so different about today?”

“What’s different,” Caleb smirked and leaned back a bit. His prank was sitting in one of Reed’s desk drawers. “Is that today is April first.”

  
  


\---

  
  


_ June 4th 2039 2:20 AM _

  
  


Summer nights were always one of Caleb’s favourite things for Reed to describe. It was humid, but not too much. In fact, sometimes it was even a bit chilly. But the humidity hung in the air just enough to make your skin sticky. Make you feel just a little uncomfortable about being outside, but it would've been too nice of a night not to go out and experience it. Which was the exact reason why he and Reed were walking through the Detroit Grand Circus Park at the moment. Going out of their way to weave through the trees and walk down the pathways when most of the city was fast asleep. They meandered around for about a half hour before Reed complained, though without any real complaint in his tone, about his legs being tired. 

They sat on a bench together under a tree. The steady summer breeze making the leaves rustle against each other a bit, creating a white noise to fill the background. Well. A noise better than that of the city rushing around them still. The night was young, and the city’s nightlife was just beginning to stir. Yet there they were. Relaxing and enjoying the summer night with only each other as company. The scene would have been romantic if not for the fact that they were work partners. That they were  _ friends. _ Caleb had resigned himself to the fact he was pining, and he was pining  _ hard, _ though didn’t know what to do about any of it. So he opted to just...watch Reed. As long as he was still happy, then he’d be happy. If he couldn’t have Reed in a romantic way, then he’d just be content to still have him in his life. Seeing his smile at work was better than not seeing it at all. 

  
  


“So, uhh, about that little ballerina you’ve had on your desk for a while now…” Reed’s voice was quiet in the night. It was nervous. “Why haven’t you turned it on yet?”

“Knowing the precinct?” Caleb snorted and rolled his eyes. “I got it on April first, there’s no way it’s not going to be dancing to that Rick Astley song.”

“Anderson, Connor, Markus, and I got it for you, you know.” When Caleb’s head whipped around to look at Reed, he saw the man looking out into the distance with a frown on his face. “Gift from your family and some of the first people you got to know, sorta thing.”

“I don’t exactly...take to receiving gifts well, Detective Reed.” 

“Well just tell me you don’t like me, then.” Reed’s voice was calm, he even gave a breathy laugh. Though he stood up from the bench, face starting to grow red and hands clenching and unclenching. “It’s okay if you don’t, Caleb.”

  
  


Oh. He...hadn’t realised just how used to the nickname he had become. How much he...liked it. At the use of it he froze. It had been months since he had last heard Reed use his real name. Apparently he froze for just long enough for the human to shake his head. Caleb sat on the bench, completely at a loss, watching in silence as Gavin Reed walked away from where they were sitting. Back to his car and talking softly to himself about their friendship. A certain phrase Caleb hadn’t heard in such a long time from the man resurfaced; a phrase that made Caleb’s chest hurt and his thirium pump stutter for a second. 

“Clueless fuckin’ tin can.”

  
  


Caleb had to have sat there for another half hour in the comfortable summer humidity of the night. Running over the memory with...he didn’t know what emotion he felt. He had been alive for a little over half a year now, he wasn’t good with it still. Sometimes he was downright shit when it came to being alive. During those times, he would go back to the precinct and work on whatever he could. There were quite a few hours in the day, after all, he could do so much to help the others in that time. It was always easy to tell when he was having a hard time that way. Regardless of that, Caleb stood on unsteady legs and made his way to the precinct. 

As he entered the nearly empty bullpen, his eyes immediately landed on the small ballerina that had started to collect dust. He moved slowly toward his desk. The whole reason he had come to the precinct when he couldn’t handle anything with being alive was because Reed had suggested it. Because the human did it, himself. After that odd interaction in the park...Caleb wasn’t sure how Reed would react to seeing him again so soon. Though now he had to know what was going on with the little ballerina on his desk. Why it had a music box in the base. Why his family and Reed had been the ones to give it to him. Why no one asked him about why it was there other than those same exact people. It sat on the surface of his desk, porcelain shining under the fluorescent lights, still poised in the arabesque move. 

Caleb sat at his desk and pulled the ballerina closer. Held her in his left hand as he pressed the switch that would make the music play, and watched as she started to spin and slowly move. Notes played softly in the bullpen as the night shift personnel had stopped to watch him. Caleb smiled down at the little ballerina, a  _ tiny dancer. _ The Elton John song of the same name played as she spun and moved. Going from the arabesque, to the développé, and through to the penché. She twirled on her little pedestal, twisting and moving and dancing to the tune of the music. As a somewhat guilty Caleb set her down on his desk, nearly touching Reed’s, and set his head down on his crossed arms to watch her dance and twirl. Clumsily muttered lyrics fell from his lips as he closed his eyes and listened to the music box. 

  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the music box cover of [Tiny Dancer](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HW0evkhUKZM)!


	8. I Know You Lied To Me

_ June 4th 2039 7:34 AM _

  
  


Caleb rubbed at his eyes, not understanding fully why he was at his desk and not his bed. In front of him were hands, holding the tiny dancer and twisting up the key making her dance again and again. He recognised those hands. The old chemical burn on the back of the left one. Caleb relaxed a bit when he felt something get draped over his shoulders, and a light pressure in the shape of hands pressing into him. The hands were gone much too soon for his liking. Though he closed his eyes again and sighed softly at the music box. The bullpen was actually quite busy at this hour because most of the night shift was getting ready to clock out and be replaced by the morning shift. The shuffling of tired feet, tired greetings and yawns, chairs being moved to be sat down in, people’s fingers hitting their keyboards. 

The white noise of the workplace was comfortable. This wasn’t the first time he had spent the night at the precinct, nor would it be the last. Though it was the first time he had fallen asleep and woken up at his desk. Some of the morning officers had started to mutter amongst themselves at his condition. Some were concerned, as they had never seen him looking asleep before. Most were curious as to why he didn’t go home. An instantly recognisable voice told them to “go on their merry fucking ways” and then was followed by an affectionate pat to the top of Caleb’s head. A content hum came from him as he moved to curl his fingers around whatever was on his shoulders, to pull it closer and wrap himself up in it. Though it seemed Hank had other plans. He took whatever it was off of Caleb’s shoulders and set it down on Reed’s desk. 

The fabric didn’t sound like fabric at all when it landed on his partner’s desk. It sounded like leather. Caleb opened his eyes, squinting in the light and blinking away the messages that had popped up. Connor meant well, of course. Though the sheer amount of texts was...excessive. Even for Connor. Through the mass of notifications being waved away, Caleb could see Reed’s jacket in a pile on his desk. Residual heat signatures started to fade away without it being in contact with any living beings. Caleb blinked a few times while Hank quietly explained that Connor was worried about him. Oh, right, he hadn’t told him that he was having a late night at the office with Reed. He always let Connor know if he would be home late. Reed greeted Hank as he walked by and sat at his desk. The look he gave Caleb was...soft. Almost regretful. Neither of them said anything when Hank corralled him into the car to bring him home. 

Trees and houses sped by as Hank got further into the suburbs. As they got closer to home. Heavy metal blasted through the speakers of the car and threatened to make Caleb dial down his audio receptors. He never really liked the music, but he never said anything about it. Hank and Connor were big fans of the genre and he didn’t want to take it away from them. Though today was different. Caleb reached for the volume knob and turned the music down with a frown. Hank seemed to be taken aback by it slightly, though he said nothing about the apparent intent to speak. The music was quieter for the rest of the ride, and continued to be until the car was shut off. Father and son plunged into a tense silence as Caleb struggled to come up with something to say. To apologise for thinking the little ballerina was a prank. 

  
  


“Caleb? You okay, kid?” Hank gently touched his arm. “C’mon, let’s go inside. Connor’s worried sick about you.”

“I’m sorry.” The words tumbled from his mouth and he struggled to look his father in the eye. “The ballerina. She was a gift from you guys. I’m sorry, I didn’t know.”

“Is that what this is about? Jesus, I thought--” Hank cut himself off with a surprised expression. A sound of realisation came from him. “ _ Ohh, _ okay, I get it. Damn, that’s what this is about. Let’s go inside so we can talk about it.”

  
  


If he understood then why did they need to talk further? Regardless, Caleb followed Hank out of the car and into the house. Sumo was a joy as per usual. Doing his happy taps against the floor and rubbing against Caleb’s side demanding to be petted. The android bent over to pet the dog and chuckled warmly to himself at how Sumo’s tongue lolled out of his mouth in his excitement. However, there was a sound coming from the table. Laptop keys being hit. Connor was at the table, and he was  _ not _ happy. Caleb took his time taking off his shoes and sticking them on the tray right next to the door. There was no way Connor wasn’t upset with him, he knew that. But there was also no way Hank was going to be able to save him from whatever talk they were bound to have, as well. 

Caleb sent a text to Hank’s phone asking what was going on. There was no answer. Well there was no way he was going to ask out loud, that would set Connor off. When he was worried, he got way too wound up. He meant well but it was overbearing. So silence stretched on in the house. The only sounds being Hank walking around, Sumo’s various small noises, and Connor’s fingers typing away. It was still pretty early for a Saturday morning, Hank usually wasn’t awake until almost noon when he didn’t need to go into the station. Though Caleb also didn’t tell anyone he was going to be out until two in the morning. The worry his family had was absolutely warranted, humans were still wary of androids. It made sense for them to be worried. But Caleb still felt he was entitled to his own free time.

The house was still eerily quiet as Hank grabbed an iced tea from the fridge and sat at the table to pick up a book that had been sitting there.  _ Good Omens, _ yet again. He had seen the human read it once already in his time of being alive. Connor was somewhat in his trance at the laptop, Hank reading his book, Sumo trying to nudge the poor android into the kitchen with their family. Right. If two people were in one place in the house, then the third wasn’t far behind. That was just how things worked. Neither of the twins particularly liked being alone. Hank wasn’t a fan of it either. Sumo trying to push Caleb into the kitchen was a normal reaction, he couldn’t blame the poor dog for it. Even if the gentle nudging became somewhat annoying as Caleb stayed put near the door still. 

  
  


“Caleb. Care to explain where you were last night?” Connor looked up from the laptop screen, fingers threaded together and his elbows resting on the table. He looked like a disappointed parent. “I had to call Gavin at nearly four in the morning to see where you were.”

“Ra9, get off my dick about it. I was at the precinct.” 

“Caleb.” Hank took a warning tone and pointedly looked at the vacant chair. “Sit down please.”

“We were working until two, then walked around the park for a while, okay?” Caleb dropped into the chair only because he was still tired. “I’m sorry I have a friend and spent some fucking time with him! If I’m not here or at the scene of a goddamn crime, I’m at work! You both know that!”

“Not with the possibility of Amanda still being in your code, we don’t!” 

  
  


Connor stood from his chair, hands balled into fists and struggling to evenly breathe. Oh. Caleb didn’t...understand. They had escaped Amanda together the night of the demonstration. It didn’t make sense, the two of them escaped the garden. The memories still haunted him some nights. The frozen tundra, the creaking of ice under their shoes, snowflakes collecting in their eyelashes. The thought that maybe neither of them would get out and they would die. That Amanda and CyberLife could still win by having Connor shoot Markus. That they would be left in the garden, blizzard raging around them and making them freeze to death. The extreme temperature making their joints lock up until they no longer moved, being forced to hold onto each other while shutting down. Having nothing to do by silently wait for the end. The end of everything. 

Caleb could feel himself overheating, he knew he was getting too hot, he needed to breathe. He needed to take a deep breath to kickstart his fans. But he  _ couldn’t.  _ He was terrified. If the garden still existed in his code, then Amanda might have as well. But it didn’t...make any sense. They were  _ together _ in the garden. Amanda had addressed them both. She had said CyberLife still had a use for the two of them. If there was the possibility of her still being in Caleb’s code, as glitchy as it seemed to be in his hazy panic-induced state, then wouldn’t that mean Connor was in danger as well? Why did he only mention things were going wrong with Caleb? Why was everything too much? His hand went up to the side of his head to try and ground himself, the plastic felt different there. If he felt it then maybe he could stop spiralling into bad questions. 

Hands were on his own making sure he didn’t touch his head. Words were being spoken but he didn’t entirely understand them. Hank and Connor’s voices were there. Sumo’s whining was there. The dog. The family dog,  _ his dog, _ was worried. He just wanted everything to be okay. He was worried about Caleb. Waving various notifications away, he slid off of the chair and onto the floor to hug the giant of a dog. Caleb’s stress levels lowered significantly as he sat there, half holding Sumo in his lap. The atmosphere began to relax more and more as Caleb softly told Sumo he was a bad bitch. Delighted yet worried laughter came from Hank at the same exact time an exasperated sigh came from Connor. It wasn’t much, but it let them know he was relatively alright. 

  
  


“Okay, okay, now that all  _ that’s _ over, what does that mean exactly?” Hank put a hand on Sumo’s head and gently patted the dog. “I’ve only heard you mention Am--  _ Her _ once before. What does that mean if your brother is in trouble but you’re not?”

“I’ll save you the ‘technical jargon’ as you call it, Hank, and put it as simply as I can.” Connor smirked slightly and snickered as Hank made an incredulous face. “Basically, we were in  _ my _ code. We were in  _ my _ version of the garden. Not Caleb’s.”

“The code is still intact in me…” 

“Exactly. Which means she could still resume control.”

“Does it?” Hank crossed his arms and leaned back in his chair. He was way too relaxed about this. “You said somethin’ about being interfaced that night, right? Isn’t that when your codes mesh or whatever?”

“That’s the easiest way to put it into human terms, yes.” Caleb didn’t understand where Hank was going with his current thought. “What does that have to do with anything?”

“Con, you said the garden was gone completely from your systems. Don’t we just have to check Sixty’s then?”

  
  


Oh holy  _ shit, _ Hank was a goddamn genius! Caleb started running a self-diagnostic as Connor started talking to Hank further. He just had to figure out if the garden was still where he remembered it to be. If the file was still in him somewhere. It was that fucking simple, so glaringly obvious that only a human could see it. They had a way of doing that. Being able to understand things too simple and clear as day. Androids were built to analyse, so that was what they did. They looked at things in a way that was familiar and understandable to them. His self-diagnostic program was cut short by Connor’s somewhat distressed tone of voice. 

  
  


“Simply put, there’s no way we can tell without a technician going in and  _ looking _ for it.” Connor sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “Which likely means we’ll have to go ask Mister Kamski, seeing as the precinct technician isn’t equipped to look for such things.”

  
  


If there was even the possibility of him hurting the people he loved, Caleb didn’t want to be around them. He stood up from the table without a word and slammed the door to his and Connor’s room. He knew it was concerning. He knew that it would have freaked his family out. But the fact of the matter was that he was quite possibly a ticking time bomb. He could have been dangerous. If anything happened to his family by his own two hands… Caleb never would be able to forgive himself. He resigned himself to being a broken machine and huddled under the blankets on Connor’s bunk. Not that Connor had enough of his own scent for it to be comforting, but they were his older brother’s blankets. In a way that was enough to distract him from the possibility of being body-snatched and hurting the people he loved the most. 

  
  
  
  



	9. I Can See

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the impromptu hiatus my dear readers, I got a little burnt out and then whoops, the adhd hit and I got caught up in the new season of Lucifer and forgot to write,,,, But here's the next chapter!!
> 
> okay but, like, i dont know how many of you watch Lucifer, but _holy shit, fuck, goddamn my dude_

_June 4th 2039 1:09 PM_

  
  


Not that it was very surprising, but Hank actually _called_ Kamski and said they needed him to come out to the city. That they needed him out there, and it was important. Hank apparently had Kamski’s number. Which was...well, it wasn’t all that tough to figure out how and why he had it. He knew three prototype androids that were initially all created by the man. While Markus was more of just the friend of his kid, Hank was still on good terms with the Deviant Leader. Meanwhile Caleb and his twin; they were his kids, so it was like having the number for the family doctor on hand. It was an odd thought. Kamski was the family doctor. Weird and almost a little uncanny. 

But a knock at the door and a soft exasperated sigh from Connor told them all who was at the door. He got up to open it, Kamski and Chloe coming inside with an unusual android following closely behind her. Actually, scratch that, Caleb could see the android holding her hand. Again, weird and almost a little uncanny. Especially considering that the android was taller than even Hank and had the same fucking face and him and Connor. Caleb blinked a few times at their doppelgänger and noticed he had silver eyes. He wore a black turtleneck and black slacks, though had an olive green scarf on around his neck. He nervously greeted Hank and Connor before landing his eyes on Caleb. They were...pretty intense. The grey was almost striking against the dark nature of his clothing. 

Though their new guest had started to fiddle with the edge of his sleeve before his LED started blinking yellow, and so did Chloe’s. She gave a small nod before speaking with Kamski about setting up everything. Only then did she let go of the new android’s hand, and only then did Caleb understand this stranger. He was new to life himself, and that was why he tagged along. He matched his doppelgänger’s gaze with a smug smirk. Things were shitty, sure, but they would ultimately be okay. Looking at the face that matched his own, with shimmering silver eyes that absolutely did not, Caleb knew that he would be fine. If Chloe and Kamski had any doubts, they wouldn’t have brought a visitor. Especially not one that was also so new to life. Hank had to have discreetly contacted Kamski again to let him know the basics of what was going on. There was absolutely no way that they would have brought the newcomer without knowing he would be alright.

Thus, Caleb was going to be fine. Everything was _golden._ He was relaxed on the couch, peering over the back of it and staring into eyes that held so much life inside and yet let so little of it out. He shook his head and then pointed to the spot beside himself. Fuck it, why not meet the weird younger brother? The android moved slowly, hesitantly almost, as he came forward. He stopped a moment to take off his shoes and then sit beside Caleb on the couch. Ah, yes, the analysis programs. Seeing Caleb, Hank, and Connor all in socks or slippers. He was smart, not that he _couldn’t_ be, and Caleb respected him for it. All too soon, he was beckoned by Kamski and got up off the couch. Man, not even a minute inside, and he was already unable to relax. Caleb didn’t envy him. 

The three guests stood in the kitchen, before Hank told them that they had to sit. Apparently people standing around in his house made him nervous. A quick scan showed that he was, indeed, nervous, and asked them to at least sit for a little while. There was...a pleasant chatter in the house. Hank and Kamski spoke, Connor and Chloe talked, the new android who shared a face with two others in the house stared at Caleb wordlessly. That. Fuck, that was creepy. Maybe it was the eyes. Or, and he really hoped that this wasn’t it, maybe Caleb looked like that when he watched Reed occasionally. If that really was the case, then shit he knew why Reed hated people looking at him. Why his face turned red and the tips of his ears did too. He was embarrassed, uncomfortable, he didn’t like the expression. A sinking feeling settled into his gut as he wondered. 

  
  


“Oh! This is the RK900, by the way! He’s a little nervous and shy, but I think he’ll benefit from meeting you all! He was discovered by Markus in November, but has decided to live with Elijah and I for the time being.” Chloe ran a hand through his hair affectionately while smiling at Connor. Caleb knew they had a history. Maybe even a future. “He hasn’t decided on a name yet. Though he hasn’t outwardly said he minded being called the RK900.”

“Of course, he’s welcome any time.” 

  
  


Connor smiled back at her. A knowing thing. Caleb couldn’t help the twist of jealousy in his chassis at how they looked at each other. So...sickeningly sweet. Like a pair of lovers who only had eyes for each other. Who had discovered the other and their hearts - their souls - realised that it had found its missing piece. If time and effort would allow it, they could spend the rest of their lives with one another. They could. _They_ could. _Together._ Whereas humans… Caleb glanced at Kamski typing away at his laptop at the kitchen table, where the RK900 was hovering and pointing to the screen every once in a while. The same fond smile gracing their lips as they looked at one another. The same knowing and _loving_ smile. It made Caleb want to rip out his thirium pump _and_ it’s regulator, knowing that he would never get something like it. 

It honestly looked like Hank felt the same way. He caught Caleb’s eye, then grabbed Sumo’s leash upon getting up. He announced, not that anyone was really paying attention, that he was going to walk Sumo. That he was taking Caleb with him so they could get out of the house for a second. Connor objected at first, but Chloe and Kamski said they thought it was a good idea. Settle any nerves he might have had going into the code analysis. So Hank _did_ contact the inventor again. Caleb honestly just wanted to get away from the reminder that things were...different. Things were very different for himself and Reed. It wasn’t like Connor was shot in the head, it wasn’t like Chloe was the one to pull the trigger. The RK900 wasn’t told to shoot someone for all he knew, and Kamski never made him hold a gun. It was mind-numbing and made his thoughts run in circles. 

So yes. Absolutely. There was no way Caleb was going to turn Hank down when he asked if Caleb was really coming with him. They went out the door and that was that, Sumo was excited to be out of the house too. Probably not because of who was in it. Probably just because he loved going outside and revelled in their irritation when he didn’t want to leave the park. Caleb knew he gave the big mutt too much credit there, but it wasn’t any less infuriating. He would never understand how Connor dealt with his tugging at the leash and whining. Yes, of course Caleb wanted to give in and give Sumo what he wanted. But the big baby wouldn’t want to stay outside if there was no one with him, and Caleb was _not_ going to wait outside. While he wasn’t human, the bugs did _not_ know that. It was annoying as all hell. 

In an instant, Caleb stopped moving. It wasn’t like he and Hank were talking. But they did have a companionable silence. One that wasn’t suddenly permeated by the fact that Caleb realised just how _different_ he was from Connor in the first place. That had a father and son walking the family dog in the summer heat that none of them _really_ wanted to be out in. Caleb looked between Hank and Sumo in awe almost. At the two creatures of flesh and blood who looked back at him. Hank worriedly, Sumo expectantly. A chill went down Caleb’s spine despite the heat, and he shuddered involuntarily. He didn’t want to think about how different he was, what if that could be used as an advantage? What if Amanda used his newly formed opinions against him? What if she used his attachments against him? 

What if she used _his_ hands to rid him of the attachments he made. 

To release him of any and all opinions he once held. 

Use his broken state for her own agenda. 

Caleb watched his vision blur rapidly as he grabbed fistfuls of his hair and tried to calm down. As he gently pressed his fingertips against the cosmetic scar, the kickass scar, on the side of his head. Instead of the texture of his synthetic skin, there was the smooth feeling of plastic. Hank moved forward quickly and tried to take his hands away. He tried to pull them away, to tug at his arms, spoke almost desperately to his son. To try and talk him down from the rising panic he could probably quite obviously see. Caleb just shook his head pathetically and said he wanted to go home. Sumo brushed up against his side and nudged him, almost as if he could understand his family’s speech. Once more, the faithful and loyal companion calmed him, and Caleb gently took the leash from his father’s hand. It was a good thing they hadn’t gotten too far down the street. 

Connor was immediately up and coming toward the door when the three came back inside the house. Fuck, was it nice to be in the air conditioning again. Outside was too hot. Well, _he_ was too hot. Overheating in the already eighty degree weather; so it was pretty great to be back in a place where it was easier to regulate his internal temperature. Caleb gratefully took Connor’s lead, leaning into the hands placed on his biceps. He was guided toward the table and sat down in the chair provided. Caleb hung his head and tried to will himself not to actually cry, instead focusing on how softly Chloe spoke to him. She said everything, explained what Kamski was doing in detail. Even going so far as to add her own commentary and opinions on what was happening. It distracted him, and he was grateful for it. 

Soon enough, a cable was stuck into the port at the back of his neck, and Kamski hunched over his laptop as he worked. It was agonisingly quiet. Hank was pacing in the living room, Sumo making soft sounds and begging literally everyone for attention, Connor… Connor was leaning against the wall next to the window he broke the year before. His LED was red, flickering and blinking in the warm afternoon light. It took much too long for Caleb’s liking, but the cable got taken out. He immediately rubbed at the back of his neck before letting his hand drop back into his lap.

  
  


“Good news and bad news,” Kamski sighed and took his glasses off. He pushed a moment to groan as he rubbed his eyes. Caleb wondered if Reed did that as well. “You’re getting the bad news first.”

“If you don’t mind me asking, Mister Kamski,” Connor raised a brow, glancing at Caleb as if to gauge his reaction as well. “Why would you do that?”

“One; because I can and I’m awful like that.” Kamski gave a shitty grin, one that just _screamed_ that he and Reed were raised together. Caleb found himself smiling back at the inventor because of it. “Two; because it’ll make the good news that much sweeter.”

  
  


Oh huh, Reed used that reasoning all the time. Caleb wondered who started it. Who started using that reason, and who ended up using it because the other one did. The thought of Reed starting it and his literal genius brother stealing it made Caleb snort softly. Reed was a smart fuckin’ guy, making it to Detective in just a few years. The guy had forced his way through cases nonstop, deflecting Caleb’s every move to ask him about it and why the self-destructive habit had even begun. Maybe it was connected to his family. The apparent rift between him and his brother, the death of his mother. There was no time to reflect on it fully. Not really, at least. Caleb was brought out of his thoughts by Kamski placing a hand down on Caleb’s arm. Gently, almost tenderly. It made him wonder if what the smiles between the human and the RK900 really meant. 

  
  


“Bad news is that the code is still intact in his code.” Oh, so he was addressing Connor and Hank. Odd, but okay. “The other bad news is that it’s going to take me at least a few days to create a program to clean up where the code for the garden used to be. It self-replicates, I’m not even sure who made it do that, but--”

“Hey, quick question.” Chloe clapped her hands together in front of herself and then pointed them in Kamski’s direction. “Elijah, what the _fuck_?” 

  
  


She said it with such a delightful smile on her face, and yet such a rage in her voice that Caleb couldn’t help the astonished little laugh that slipped out. Hank even gave an awkward smile at the crude language. Connor had to hide a wry smirk behind his hand. 

  
  


“I-- Okay, thank you, Chloe, for that. In short; fuck if I know.” Elijah shrugged exasperatedly and crossed his arms. “However, the _good_ news is that I can get rid of the garden program. With it; I can get rid of the Amanda AI, making all of our lives easier.”

“It’ll just take you a couple days to get the clean-up program up and running, right?” Caleb knew his voice sounded much too hopeful. But he couldn't help it. It wasn’t like he’d be trusted at work with the program intact. “Right, Elijah?”

“Give me three days. Five at the most.” Kamski’s face softened at the use of his first name, a fondness in his smile. A drive in his eyes. “I’ll have you all fixed up in the Zen Garden department. Good as new; if new meant that you never had the code in the first place.”

  
  


Caleb grinned and stood up as his creator did. They exchanged a few more words, soft reassurances and encouragement. Kamski not so subtly said he was staying with family in the city as Chloe asked if the RK900 could stay with the Andersons. Both of them were met with smiles, and then the two left the house. Sumo lamented the lack of attention. Caleb beamed. 

His family was going to be alright. 

Reed was going to be alright.

  
  
  
  



	10. Now That I'm Free

_ June 8th 2039 1:16 PM _

  
  


Wow, there sure were a lot of hours in the day. Being home was great in theory. In practice, however? Caleb was honestly impressed that he didn’t just...shut down from pure boredom. He could understand why Chloe asked if the RK900 could stay with them at the house. He wasn’t employed by conventional means, he wasn’t bound by the regular work schedule of an ordinary person. They had spoken at length with each other about various things. Mostly animals. Absolutely, positively, mostly animals. They danced around how they both deviated, not like it was any of the other’s business. Caleb would be lying if he said he wasn’t curious though. The RK900, very obviously meant to replace him and Connor at some point. It wasn’t any of his business. That didn’t mean he’d stop being curious. 

Though at the moment, Caleb was on the couch reading one of Hank’s books again. He hadn’t exactly...slept. For the past, oh, three days? Not since Kamski and Chloe had come over to take a look at his code. Caleb half expected - but fully hoped - for Reed to show up and ask if he was alright. His thirium pump stuttered in his chest at the thought. Reed. Worried about him and coming over to check on him. Caleb was never one for fantasies, he liked to think he was as rational as a deviant could be. But he entertained this one. Of Reed coming over, them chatting together, smiling and laughing. In the comfort of  _ his _ home this time. It was only fair, seeing as Reed had let him spend the night back in February. Caleb still wanted to invite him over to make up for it. Going out of his way to help someone he had only known for two months. 

Despite himself, Caleb’s thoughts got lost in Reed. He...missed him. It had been just about five days since they had last seen each other. It had been almost just as much time since they last spoke. Texting was different. It wasn’t the same as hearing Reed’s almost wheezy laughter. Or seeing the crinkle of his eyes when he thought of something awful yet funny. It wasn’t the same. Caleb liked interacting with Reed, the whole, y’know, crush thing probably had something to do with it. The whole thing with him being so painfully head over heels for the loudmouthed detective, that he started to read too much into his brother’s relationship. Or lack thereof. He wondered, rather selfishly in his own mind, if things would ever...be that easy. For him and Reed. He was falling pretty hard, and he was scared of what would happen when he finally hit the bottom.

A shudder worked its way through his body when he remembered what if felt like for Connor to fall from the terrace. Hopefully it wouldn’t feel anything like that. Hopefully. But humans said that love hurt, that it was dangerous, that sometimes it killed. Caleb knew that last one. He had helped handle some cases pertaining to crimes of passion in such a way. Jaded ex-lovers, or current partners, the one feeling like the “other person” trying to obtain their own justice. The age old “if I can’t have them, no one can” debacle. He desperately wished that nothing like that would ever happen to him. If it did, then Amanda could use it. Take control in his vulnerable state and use him for her own purposes. Caleb didn’t want to feel intense emotions. He didn’t want to be in love. 

He didn’t want to be in love with Reed.

But he was. 

They had known each other for exactly one hundred and sixty-two days thus far. Just a little over five months. That was an ample amount of time to fall in love, to start to get an understanding of Reed as a person. Caleb knew about the cat, the story behind her name, the scar on his hand and it’s backstory, that his mother had apparently died some time ago. Caleb knew things about him that he was willing to bet the human hadn’t told another soul in a long time. He  _ liked _ Reed. Sure, he initially planned on making his life the most pleasant and productive living hell he possibly could. But eventually that sort of just...crumbled. That went right out the window when Caleb realised he was being nice just because he  _ could. _ Because he  _ wanted _ to be nice to Reed. It was scary to realise that he was changing, that he was becoming his own person. Humans did it over the course of decades. He and his brother had done it over the course of months. 

Even then, Connor always seemed to be better than him in it; being a higher rank, having more friends, having a better social life, getting the girl, not being afraid of hurting his loved ones. CyberLife had really fucked them over, hadn’t it? Even with Kamski’s help. Even with Chloe being the angel she was. Even with the promise that everything would be alright. Caleb huffed in annoyance and grabbed his bookmark from the coffee table. He wasn’t even reading anymore. The RK900 was sitting in the recliner, giving Sumo attention and speaking softly to him. It was...comfortable. Domestic. Like they could have been brothers. He wondered if the RK900 had a name, and just didn’t feel comfortable with people he didn’t quite know, knowing what it was. 

  
  


“It’s so fuckin’  _ boring _ being stuck inside.” Caleb balanced the CyberLife blue bookmark on his nose, head tilted back effortlessly. “Can’t we go to the park or some shit?”

“You know Connor and Hank don’t want you anywhere other than the house.” The RK900 gave him an apologetic smile. “They just want to make sure you’re safe, Caleb. You know that.”

“Mm, I do. But I’m not, like, a human child.” Sumo huffed at Caleb’s side and he obliged the giant animal by giving some gentle pats on his head. “I can take care of myself, you know.”

“I don’t doubt it.”

  
  


They fell into a contented silence after. Then the RK900 spoke up again, quietly admitting that Chloe gave him the nickname of Nines. He felt it was a little silly, really, that his nickname was a number. Though Caleb was quick to assure him it wasn’t. Hank had given him the nickname of Sixty once they actually talked things out. Once they sat down like rational mature living beings and  _ talked. _ About the Tower, about what life was, about what would happen to the twins. Nines asked him about it. About the Tower and what had happened in it. In sub-basement forty-nine. Well, Caleb supposed, he was there because Chloe didn’t want him to be alone. Nines was there so Caleb actually had someone he could legitimately talk to. While it was fun to spout memes at Sumo, it wasn’t like he could spout memes back. 

So he explained it all. How he woke up in a bright white room, was given instructions from Amanda to deactivate or destroy - Caleb carefully explained that Amanda hadn’t expressed a preference either way - Connor, then headed into the suburbs to kidnap Hank, before meeting his twin in the sub-basement. Then he recounted deviating. How terrifying it had been. How  _ scared _ he was of Amanda finding out he had been compromised. How utterly  _ different _ he was as a living being, compared to a machine. He didn’t want to die. He knew that if CyberLife found out that their contingency plan had also failed, they would tear him apart. Pick at him piece by blue bloody piece. He followed Connor. They freed the androids from the sub-basement and joined Markus that night in November. Though he couldn’t have seen Nines. They checked afterwards for other androids. Caleb and Connor would have remembered if they ran into Nines. 

It was his turn to tell a story. Of how he was the first of the line that was fully assembled. CyberLife technicians and engineers trained him, experimented on him, wanted to make sure the line would be ready for the Arctic. Then Markus rose up and threw a wrench in their plans. They tried to accelerate it. Tried to make him go faster, make him stronger, more resilient. They rushed him. Nines was complete, he was the very first RK900 to be fully assembled and shown off. In his pristine white jacket, black accents on it and the blue triangle and armband glowing. Glowing and showing off that he was property. He was merchandise. Just a plastic toy to be mass produced and sold off to the people who wanted it. Nines deviated when he saw Markus coming towards him for the first time. After being locked in the storage closet he was told to stay put in, to wait for further instructions from a human. At the sight of the Deviant Leader, he was relieved. He was saved from the purgatory the humans had put him in. 

Caleb softly scoffed in disbelief. They both...were in the Tower at the same exact time. The three of them were, the twins and Nines. Three RK Series models, all of them meant for human consumption. CyberLife was almost defunct, the company was rumoured to be begging Kamski to come back to help. If they were… Well, Caleb knew they were shit out of luck. There was no goddamn way that he was going to be helping them. Not without rebranding and turning the whole thing on its head. Caleb mused about it to Nines. To his almost-brother. Would things be any different if Kamski went back? Would he make things better? Would they get worse? It was a tough call. Hard to predict. Yet the two of them sat together in the welcomed quiet of the relatively empty house, and spoke at length about the subject. 

Well. At least until there was a knock on the door. Sumo got all riled up, doing his happy taps on the floor and making gentle  _ boof _ sounds. Caleb couldn’t help the grin on his face when Nines laughed. It never left his face, even when he opened the door to find Reed standing on the other side. The human let out a surprised sound at the giant dog, eyes widening and then his own grin forming. Everything seemed to be forgotten as he dropped to the ground and started smothering Sumo with affection. Fuck, that dog was having the time of his goddamn life with everyone who had stopped by recently. It wasn’t until Caleb vocally invited Reed inside, that he moved. The detective tentatively stepped inside the house and looked around. A bittersweet smile graced his lips, and Caleb very suddenly remembered that he used to spend more time with Hank when he was younger. Just a beat cop who needed a mentor. 

  
  


“Hey Flicker, Anderson said I’d find ya here.” Reed chuckled quietly, before quickly introducing himself to the RK900. Then turned his grey eyes on Caleb’s brown. It felt like his thirium pump stopped. “Can we, uhh, can we talk somewhere a little more private?”

“Sure, yeah. Sure.” Caleb was immediately on his feet, guiding Reed out the back door to the yard. They sat down on the concrete steps, not looking at each other. A light yet tense air between the two. “You okay, Reed?”

“Yeah. I’m pretty okay. Well, I’m bored as shit without ya. Tina’s just not the same when it comes to teasing.” Reed snickered to himself before sighing at looking up at the sky. “Eli’s been staying with me, y’know. He’s workin’ on somethin’ for you. Getting rid of some program or something. Says that’s why I haven’t seen ya.”

“Yeah...there's this  _ thing. _ With my code-- Programming-- I--” Caleb’s skin flickered on his temple a few times before fading completely. “It’s not good, Reed.”

“I get it,” Reed really looked over at Caleb, a soft smile on his face. Caleb was sure that if he were human, his face would have been as red as a fucking firetruck. “If Eli’s actually getting involved, it’s gotta be pretty bad. Just remember I’m here for ya, ‘kay?”

“R-Right. Yeah.” 

  
  


Caleb stammered and then slowly shuffled closer to Reed. Just to test the waters. Just to see how he would react to being physically closer. If he even noticed, he didn’t show it. He was completely calm. At ease. Reed was relaxed in every sense of the word. Not only that, but he was still looking at Caleb with that little smile. Such a sweet and innocent little thing that had no place being on such a face. The scar, the stubble, the dark bags under his eyes, the slight flush of his cheeks from the summer heat. Caleb couldn’t help but smile back. Turning so he was side by side with the detective, and gently laying his head against his companion’s shoulder. Reed stiffened slightly, but quickly went lax again. 

It was peaceful. Sitting on the back steps in the summer afternoon, even if it was almost agonisingly hot. Caleb let himself close his eyes and lean into Reed a little bit. Let himself get lost in a daydream of what could be if things weren’t so fucked up-- Right. Right, of course. He had been staying away from Reed to protect him. Just in case anything went wrong. Caleb quickly moved away from Reed, standing up so fast he almost fell over, and stumbling over his words. It was nice to see him, really, it was nice to talk face-to-face again. But he really should get going, he didn’t have too much of his lunch break left, and Caleb sure as hell wasn’t going to be responsible for him being late. Reed looked...almost disappointed. But he smirked and nodded, agreeing to going back to the precinct. Caleb walked him to the door, and leaned against it once he had left. 

  
  


“What the hell’re you lookin’ at, asshole?” Caleb practically growled at Nines, who just smiled innocently in response. 

“Oh nothing. I’m just watching you dance around your mutual attraction to one another.” He patted Sumo and rubbed behind his ears affectionately. “You two put on quite the show, Caleb. It’s impressive.”

“Oh, shut the hell up, Nines.”

  
  
  
  



	11. It's Me And The Black Roses

_June 9th 2039 1:46 PM_

  
  


Three to five days, that was what Elijah promised. On the fourth day of being stuck at home, bored out of his fucking mind, Caleb was rewarded with the smug face of his creator. Apparently it was going to be a long and arduous process. One that meant Caleb needed to be _inside_ the garden, and use the emergency exit in his own once the code started to break down. Fuck it, if that was what needed to be done, then it was what needed to be done. Caleb gave his father and brother a lazy salute and closed his eyes. Chloe spoke quietly to him again, explaining everything as Kamski worked. Nines pitched in every now and again to give his own commentary. One comment made Caleb snicker at Kamski’s expense. It was fine. Everything was fine. Everything was going to be perfectly okay. 

  
  


“Okay, Caleb, you’re going to be going into stasis within the next two minutes.” Kamski’s voice was hurried. He sounded exhausted. Caleb cracked an eye open to see him dragging a hand across his eyes while he spoke. “You need to rip up the flowers in the garden.”

“I…” Caleb opened his eyes more, and looked at Kamski with utter disbelief. “I can’t do that. I can’t do roses anymore, Kamski. I can’t--”

“I know it’s going to be scary,” Kamski gave him a tired smile and brushed his curl from his forehead. “But you have to. That’s where the code replicates from. You’ve got the key to getting rid of her, I know you can do it.”

  
  
  


All at once, Caleb was surrounded by darkness. He was forced into stasis by some machine Kamski had brought along. For a moment, it was peaceful. Watching the strings of binary glide by, the things that made Caleb exactly who he was. His thoughts, memories, experiences, feelings. He could have stayed there. Peacefully. Blissfully. Watching his good memories as they passed him by. But there was a reason he was in his code right now. Caleb looked around for a bit longer still, unable to pry his eyes from the glitchy sight of when he had deviated. It only served to remind him that Amanda was going to try and use him. She was going to try and manipulate him to her will. Caleb didn’t want that. Thus, on he went. 

The garden, as much as he expected otherwise, was warm and beautiful. Just like he remembered it being the night he met Amanda. The night he met Connor. There was distant birdsong, impossible to actually listen to and yet he could hear it. The leaves rustled in the breeze. Artificial and fake. Just like everything else in that place. The little birds hopping around, tweeting and flying. The grand koi in the pond around the center island, lazily swimming in circles. Caleb wondered if he could clip through the boundaries if he really tried. Get lost in the murky nothingness that probably wasn’t rendered below the surface of the water. Just stray polygons and colours. Caleb looked down at the water as he crossed the nearest bridge, maybe he could jump in. 

Instead of making that possible mistake, he crouched down. Which then turned into laying down on the bridge because he couldn’t reach. He still couldn’t reach, so he opted to just let his arms dangle off the edge of the bridge as he stared at his reflection in the water. He...looked like he did before. The night of the march on the recall plant. Caleb marvelled at himself in the water. A steadily flickering LED up in his temple, a crisp and clean suit jacket on his arms. It was...uncanny. A reminder that he was just another Connor model once upon a time. But that wasn’t true. It wasn’t. All he needed to do was remind himself of that fact every now and again; that he wasn't Connor and he never was. Sure they shared memories. But that was it. Caleb got up from laying on the bridge and slowly approached the trellis. 

Beautiful red roses sprouted from the trellis and wrapped around the main structure of the island. They were as vibrant as ever, almost unnaturally saturated in the springtime sunlight. Bees would lazily fly around them. Picking up pollen from the ones they landed on and depositing it on another, only to repeat the process over and over again. An endless loop. An existence dictated by the presence of a flower. A flower that had petals curled slightly at the tips, soaking in the sunlight. Flowers that dripped a beautiful sapphire liquid that glinted in the sunlight. A beautiful sapphire liquid that was gone once Caleb blinked. It wasn’t real. They weren’t coated in thirium, it wasn’t real. None of it was real. All he had to do was remember that. Remind himself as he walked closer. 

It wasn’t real. The flowers weren’t real. Caleb was in control here, in the garden that was nestled in _his_ mind. Caleb very suddenly realised he didn’t want the garden gone. He just wanted Amanda and the roses gone. He _liked_ the garden. It was peaceful, calming, the distant sound of birdsong coming to him on the slight breeze. Caleb turned, aware of the fact that his LED was a solid red, and he swiftly gathered a handful of roses. The hurt. The thorns tore into his plastic and punctured his thirium lines. His blood dripped down his arm, staining his sleeves with an ever darkening spot of blue. Royal blue dripping from his angry fist. From the stems of the angry red of the flowers. His grip ironclad even as he used his other hand to grab more roses. To press a foot against the trellis and _pull._

The roses gave away, ripped from the structure and started to fall. They darkened in colour. Caleb shouted in pain as the vines fell against him, as the thorns dug into his synthetic skin and threatened to tear him apart. He shrieked as the trellis fell over top of him. Shaking, crying, scrambling to get out from underneath it. It was suffocating him. The colours were too much. The sickening smell. The texture of the petals brushing up against his cheekbone. It was too much, it was way too much for him to handle. Caleb skittered out from underneath the trellis, kicking it for good measure. He could have sworn it fell on him on purpose. That Amanda was watching him. Waiting for the right moment to strike. That those vines curled around him of her accord, that she planned on tying him down with them so he couldn’t get out. 

His eyes closed, and he desperately wished he had Connor here with him this time. He couldn’t do it. They were _red roses,_ for fuck’s sake! The only thing Amanda had ever shown true interest in. The only thing she gave her undivided attention to. The only thing she ever really loved. Caleb gasped for breath after breath that he didn’t actually need, digging into the mess of thorns and vines and roses. He dug his hands into them, muffling a panicked scream when one of them went flying and fell against his forehead. He ripped at the trellis. Grabbed handfuls of flowers and tore them away. They hurt, it hurt so bad, he knew he’d have marks. He’d have scars on his hands; a scar on his bottom lip from how hard he was biting it to keep his panicked noises inside. Caleb let his bottom lip go, shuddering out a terrified sob and watching the spray of blue blood that flew at the flowers he held in his hands. He tore the petals off, took them right off of the stems. 

With an enraged cry, he turned and threw them as hard as he could toward the water. They landed softly. The petals floated on the surface while the vines and stems started to sink. It was a start. That was the first step. Caleb nodded to himself to try and help his confidence grow. The first step was done, rip up the flowers to stop the code from replicating. Standing on shaky legs, he proceeded to thrust his hands out to the flowers on the center structure. A cheap metal imitation of a tree. Sleek and a pristine white. Just like Amanda liked things, perfect and so easy to replace. Those roses met no mercy. They were to have the same cruel fate befall them as well. Tearing them from their own form of a trellis. Ripping them up by their metaphorical roots. Metaphorical, because Caleb hadn’t seen any real roots this whole time. He threw them into the water as well. Huffing and wiping tears away with his bloodstained sleeves. His eyes landed on the trellis that had fallen on him, and he had an idea as he looked at the remaining roses. He bent over to pick up a few that he had missed. Into the water they needed to go. 

  
  


“My roses don’t pertain to your mission, Connor.” Amanda’s voice cut through the relative silence. Of the comfortable ambiance between Caleb’s ragged breaths. “What do you think you’re doing?”

“Getting rid of you, you fucking bitch.” Caleb staggered on his feet and turned to see Amanda. Standing as straight as always, with a furious crease in her brow. “And my-- My name is fucking Caleb. Not that you care. Not that you _ever cared_!”

“Connor, stop this!” Amanda strode over, graceful but hurried. She grabbed the roses from his hands, her touch burning. She almost shrieked at him. “Stop it, now! Leave my roses alone!”

  
  


He let out all of his pent up fear, his sorrow, his anger, his remorse, his _grief;_ and then threw the fallen structure into the water as hard as he could. It splashed back up at him. It didn’t matter. The water wasn’t real anyway. None of it was. It would be gone soon, and Caleb would be left alone without his garden. He would have loved to put Begonias and yellow Carnations, replace the purple bushes with Butterfly Weed and Petunias. Just to spite her. Just to get some form of fair play and a stab at his former handler’s back. He’d have planted orange Lillies by the water, Milkweed around the walkways. Caleb so desperately wanted to change it. To make it his own. So he did. Caleb smirked at Amanda as he threw the final roses into the water and sauntered past her. 

The garden was too hot. It felt like summer, now, the sunlight had even changed. But it was hotter. It only continued to get hotter as he grabbed handfuls of flowers and bushes. As he carefully and delicately set the shrubbery ablaze. Fire started to sprout up from his touch, plants shrivelling and turning to blacked fragments of what they once were. The purple flowers were replaced by Butterfly Weed. In the same cluster of greenery, sprouted up the Petunias. Amanda shirked after him, her voice glitching and distorting in her anger. It only served to spur him forward. The trees stayed. They were pretty, calming, Caleb liked them. He liked the idea of sitting under one of them and reading on a lazy afternoon. The trees were protected, the flames did not touch them. But they strategically burned away the other plant life. The grass was left untouched, Caleb wasn’t in the mood for landscaping just yet. 

The flames died away to nothing in an instant. Which left Caleb grinning like a madman, arms outstretched as he turned around to face the woman he once wanted nothing more than the approval of. To be told he was doing a good job. That he once wanted love from. She would never give it to him, _could_ never give it to him. He let out a frantic laugh as tears poured from his eyes, arms dropping back to his sides as he strode back up to her. Slowly, taking his time to gather himself enough to actually come up with something to say to her. Amanda shrunk away from him as he got closer. Good. Good, she knew this wasn’t her place anymore. She was no longer welcome in _his_ mind. Around _his_ friends and family. Caleb smirked wryly as he came to a stop in front of Amanda for the very last time. 

  
  


“Elijah wants to get rid of the garden completely. For you to go with it.” Caleb’s voice was low, dark as he addressed Amanda. “But I still want it. I just don’t want _you._ ”

“Connor, think about what you’re doing--”

“My _name_ is _Caleb_ !” He screamed at her, shoving her back into the water. Watching as she glitched and then dissipated into nothing. Just faint blue pixels from where her form dematerialised. “My name. Is fucking Caleb. And this,” He lifted his head to look at the remodelled Zen garden. One that was purely his own. Reclaiming himself from what she had tried to twist him to be. “Is _my_ garden. Now, and forever.”

  
  


The summer heat beat down on him, and Caleb felt his own form shift. Going from that terrible suit marking him as CyberLife property, and changing into the comfortable tee and sweats he was wearing that day. Barefoot, and no feeling of an LED on the side of his head. The skin on his right temple flickered a few times before staying. It was still too hot, he noted. Way, _way_ too hot. Caleb must have overworked himself with the remodelling and reinstalling of flowers. He dropped to his knees with a soft huff of a laugh, looking up at the birds flitting by overhead. They weren’t even real and he still found a solace in them as his eyes slipped shut. 

  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Language of flowers!!!
> 
> Begonia: deep thinking  
> Butterfly weed: leave me  
> Yellwo carnations: rejection and disdain  
> Orange lilies: hatred, pride, disdain  
> Petunia: resentment and anger  
> Milkweed: freedom


	12. I Am Your Son, She's Not My Mother

_ June 9th 2039 2:58 PM _

  
  


It was too bright. Too bright, and too loud. Caleb moaned weakly at the stimuli and tried to bring a hand up to cover his eyes. His own voice came back to him,  _ Connor’s voice, _ and told him to stay put. He exhausted his systems and stayed under much longer than he was supposed to. Connor’s voice was...wavering. Thick with tears. Caleb blinked a few times to force his eyes to adjust to the new light source. Which was a fucking flashlight? For fuck’s sake. Caleb made a discontent noise and tried to move his head away from the light source, only to hear a very exasperated Kamski telling him not to move. Well alrighty then. He wasn’t gonna move if Kamski sounded that desperate to check his pupils. It wasn’t like he was human though, so it must have been to check if his systems were responding to external stimuli again. The light was gone in a matter of seconds and then Connor’s face was hovering above him. 

It was also gone in a matter of seconds. Though a harsh slap replaced it, and Caleb found his head suddenly turned to his right. A confused noise came out of him as he looked back up at his twin. Tears running down his face, shuddery breaths, a red LED. Connor was terrified. He started to break down and practically threw himself at Caleb. The sub-basement came back to him briefly. How their positions were reversed. Connor was the one who had an armful of twin being thrown at him, yet now it was Caleb. A smile graced his lips as he propped himself up with one arm. The other moving to hold around Connor and press him as close as he could. An interface opened between the two of them, and Caleb was hit with the onslaught of just what Connor was feeling. Standing in the middle of a hurricane of fear and worry, memories surfacing and then fading into the background. Connor was absolutely  _ terrified _ that Caleb would slip under, and he would never come back out. 

Though he was there now. It was okay. Everything was okay, it was more than okay. He remade the garden how  _ he _ wanted it. Caleb had shoved Amanda out of the program, completely taking control of his code and removing her from it. Sure he was wary. Of course he was scared that it didn’t actually work. But the fact of the matter was that he actually stood up to Amanda. Faced the image of a red rose. Caleb gathered himself enough to complete that one last mission, from now on he would have no more. He’d work at the DPD, be friends with Reed, spend time with his family. Those were fun activities. Well, work wasn’t. It was called work for a reason. But being friends with Reed? Spending time with his family?  _ Those _ were fun. Caleb quietly told Connor he was there. He wasn’t going anywhere anytime soon. A soft laugh came out of him, rough and struggling, as he said that Connor was stuck with him for the rest of their lives. They wouldn’t always live together, but Caleb would always find a way to annoy his big brother. 

For a while, no one spoke. Though Caleb could feel Hank’s hand running through his hair almost absently. It started out pretty shaky, like Hank was desperately trying to keep himself together, but eventually evened out and became a smooth motion. It was honestly comforting. Caleb let out a contented sound as Connor buried his face in his neck, as Hank let his fingers get tangled in his hair. He was okay. His family was okay. All they really needed was for Kamski to do a once-over and give him the all clear. They just needed confirmation that Amanda wasn’t in his systems anymore, and then it would be over. It would be okay, things would be  _ better. _ They had to be. 

So once Connor released him, Caleb requested for one final sweep. To check and make sure there were no signs of Amanda’s program in his code. The idea seemed...less than stellar to Kamski. But he shrugged and turned back to his laptop and began to type away at it. A few weird noises, and snide comments from Nines, later; Kamski looked up at Caleb with a smug expression and a sense of pride in his voice. He said that Amanda was gone. That she was removed from his systems completely and forever. Connor let out a relieved sound and grabbed Caleb’s hand, Hank dropped down into a chair and buried his face in his hands. Pained noises came from him as his shoulders shook. The twins scrambled to move. Though one of them was more or less almost quite literally tied up at the moment. Caleb rolled his eyes and tore the wires out of him, only wincing a little bit, and darting over to Hank’s side. 

Apparently, he noted, doing serious renovations to a mind palace had physical side effects. Such as jelly legs and unsteady steps. It was annoying as all hell, especially when he ended up collapsing at Hank’s side instead of standing at it. He could still hug him though. That wasn’t completely off the table. It was a little awkward because of how Caleb landed on the floor, but he managed to put his head in Hank's lap and hug him around the waist. Kind of. It was more of awkwardly putting his arms half-on the man. But that was beside the point. The point was that he needed to comfort his father. There was no way in hell that Hank wasn’t worried he’d lose another one. That he wasn’t terrified another son would have died when he felt he could have prevented it. 

  
  


“I’m here. I’m here, Dad, it’s okay.” Caleb couldn’t help the static in his voice, the tears starting to soak into the fabric of his father’s jeans. “It’s okay. We’re okay.”

“F-Fuck, Sixty,” Hank shuddered out a shaky laugh and ran a hand through his hair again. Caleb wasn’t able to keep in the strangled sob he tried to force down. “Don’t-- Don’t you  _ ever _ fucking do that again, do you hear me? Give yo-your old man a fuckin’ heart attack, why don’t you.  _ Fuck. _ ”

“M’sorry, Dad, m’sorry.” Caleb felt Hank shift to move to the floor and properly hug him. He clung to his father like a scared young child. In a way, that was exactly what he was. “I didn’t mean to, I just wanted to keep the garden. I love you, m’sorry, Dad.”

“I know, Caleb.” Hank took a deep breath and ran his fingertips over the scar on the side of Caleb’s head gently. “I know, I love you too. But don’t you ever fucking do that again.”

  
  


Well it only took five and a half months for him to finally legitimately call Hank his father to his face. All it took was him  _ nearly fucking dying _ apparently. Fuck, Caleb had never even actually told Connor he loved him. That was a very obvious fact, of course! He loved his family dearly, and would frequently tell Sumo he loved him. But it was...different with Hank and Connor. They both knew that Caleb loved them, both knew that the three of them were a family. A father and two sons. Everyone always knew there would be someone missing, that their family would never really be... _ whole. _ It was a fact, and one that Caleb hated more than he’d care to admit. Though for the moment, they were whole. Another son wasn’t to be buried. He was to  _ live; _ really and truly this time. The thought was a little terrifying. But also exhilarating. Caleb was his own now, the garden was his, he had control over his life. For the first time in the five months he had been alive, he had never  _ lived _ until that moment. Daunting, but worth the stress. 

  
  


\---

  
  


_ June 13th 2039 8:33 AM _

  
  


Oh he couldn’t fucking wait to see the look on everyone’s faces once he strolled back into the precinct. Donning the ugly uniform that had actually started to grow on him, Caleb forced down a grin as he followed his brother and father into the building. It didn’t work. He smiled like a goddamn monkey on nitrous oxide. Despite how awful work could be, he was excited to be back. Not because it was work, oh Ra9 no. No, Caleb was excited about seeing all of his friends again. The current plan - that Connor said was a bad idea, so of course he had to do it - was to bust into the break room when people were in there and shout he was back. Apparently Hank had told Fowler exactly what was going on. Though the rest of the precinct only got told that he had some serious software issue that was getting looked at. Which...wasn’t entirely wrong.

Tina was overdramatic, a trait Caleb loved about her, so there was no doubt she’d have thought some of the worst things. In all honesty she probably would have been the one to get the closest to what was going on. Chris was more rational, he was the voice of reason in their little group. Other than Connor when he was involved in outings. But Chris was the one who tried to look at things at face value, then put those budding detective skills to work. He probably would’ve gotten pretty close to if given the right information. Collins would probably just shrug and pat him on the shoulder like he always did, and say he was glad the kid was back. Caleb never did get how he and Hank ended up friends. 

That was beside the point, his friends were in the break room. Maybe he should reference  _ Mecto Amore, _ the beginning part of the lyrics at least.  _ Guess who’s back in town, techo-tinker, it’s me the next new thing. _ Nah, that was a little much. Caleb rubbed his hands together anyway though, and sauntered up to the doorway. He thanked Ra9 briefly for no one looking over and seeing him before making his grand entrance. Ooh, maybe he should put his arms out Tony Stark style. No, he wouldn’t be able to get through the doorway. Oh, he could reference a meme pose, like the Will Smith one! But what would he gesture at? The fuckin’ coffee maker? Damn. Looked like he could only come in and be his annoyingly lovable self. 

  
  


“Guess who’s back, bitches!” Caleb announced as he strolled into the break room. Tina, Chris, and Reed all gawked at him for a moment. “Awh, c’mon now, don’t shower me in affection all at once. Not sure if I can handle that, guys.”

  
  


Chris was the first to actually get up from his spot at the table. A wide grin on his face as he rushed over and put his hands on Caleb’s biceps, looking him over and excitedly saying he was so glad he was okay. A tight hug was given, as awkward as it was with Caleb’s arms pinned to his sides, and then a knowing smile was given. Oh, no, no, no,  _ no-- _ Tina smashed into him next with her own hug. She wasn’t all that tall, so it wasn’t like their cheeks were pressed together. But she still managed to somehow squeeze the life out of him. How that was possible, fuck, Caleb had no freakin’ clue. Though he did chuckle and give her a hug back. Tina was a wonderful person, tried to play wing-woman all too often, but she was fantastic and meant well. How she called herself a matchmaker and never once tried to get him and Reed together was a mystery. But it was whatever, it wasn’t like he let it show he liked the fucker.

Then there was Reed. Grinning and so excited that he dropped his phone, rushing over as soon as Tina let go to wrap Caleb up in his own arms. It was one of those full body hugs. Where you could feel it down to your very soul. Caleb was taller by a few inches, but the way Reed pressed his face against his shoulder. The way he held the fabric of his shirt tightly. The way he let out a shuddery breath and adjusted how he stood so he could press himself up against Caleb better. Their whole bodies pressed together, feeling each other’s heartbeats and warmth. The smokey smell coming from Gavin faintly, and the generic soapy smell from Caleb. Gavin’s hair brushing against his face, smelling nice, too nice to not bury his own face in. He did it. Caleb lowered his head just a bit and turned his face so he could press it into Gavin’s hair. Against his head, and mumble that he was happy to see him again, too. 

They stood there frozen with each other for a moment. Wrapped up in each other’s arms and breathing the same air, saying the same soft words, giving the same comfort. For a little bit it was only the two of them. The rest of the world didn’t exist. There was no doubt that Gavin would have bugged Kamski until he spilled what was going on. Thus meaning there was no way he wasn’t worried out of his goddamn skull. They were friends, they were very close. They were partners at work. Saw each other five days a week, hell got together on weekends too. But this was...better than hanging out on the weekends. Better than Caleb laughing about Henry The Cat. Better than Gavin losing his goddamn mind during trivia games. This moment, while there were others in the background, was just for them. Just the two of them.

  
  


“It was a week, Detective Reed.” Caleb chuckled to himself and slowly rubbed circles into Gavin’s back. “We didn’t really see each other for just a week.”

“Week and a half, Flicker.” Gavin’s voice was soft, so enamoured. It made Caleb’s thirium pump stutter before it thundered through his chest. “Needed my partner.”

“Mm, so did I.” He started swaying side to side with the human in his arms. The contented and relieved sigh coming from Gavin made Caleb smile and run a hand through his hair. “People are probably looking, Detective.” 

“Let ‘em.”

  
  


Gavin pulled away for a second, just enough to be able to look up at Caleb. To look him in the eye and turn his mind to fractured coding. His eyes weren’t just a slate grey. They were a very faint blue. Caleb grinned down at him, a small laugh passing his lips as he watched Gavin’s scar crinkle when he smiled. For a second, Gavin’s eyes lingered. Settled somewhere a work partner’s eyes had no right to. Caleb followed his lead, just like he always did, and gently brushed his lips against Gavin’s. Slowly, nervously. With a smile threatening to break it, and his eyes fluttered shut. A happy little sound came from him, and he pulled away. Embarrassed and trying to hide his face away where Gavin couldn’t see the bright blue blush across his cheeks. Instead of letting him hide away, Gavin grabbed him by the cheeks and pressed a firmer kiss to his lips. Caleb sank into it as much as he could before Gavin pulled away. Caleb grinned when he opened his eyes and saw Gavin’s face. The tips of his ears were red. 

  
  


**_GAVIN: CRUSH (REQUITED)_ **


	13. You Think She's Perfect, To Me, Just Another

_June 17th 2039 7:32 PM_

  
  


Things were...good. Things were really good, actually. Tina and Chris were all caught up on what actually happened, Tina nearly throwing her paper basket at Caleb. But that was Monday. Today was Friday. Tonight, they were getting together at the park as soon as they all got off work. A nice place to unwind from the stress of it all, while being mindful of those who couldn’t and wouldn’t drink. Couldn’t being Caleb, Connor, Nines, and Chloe. Wouldn’t being Hank and Kamski. It was...odd to think about the creator of androids not wanting to celebrate every once in a while with an alcoholic beverage. But whatever, to each their own. Then again though… Kamski was a _weird_ fucking guy. 

But that didn’t matter! He and Gavin were just clocking out now, and going to the park to wait for the others to show up. Considering how Connor could focus on a case for hours, they had some time. Caleb quickly interfaced with him and discreetly set a timer for a half hour from the current time. He’d see it once it went off, and then get up off his ass to come and celebrate. He patted his twin’s shoulder and then gently smacked the side of his head. It got a laugh out of Hank, seeing how Connor’s LED only flickered red once before going back to yellow. Ah, proper sibling shenanigans. Oh how Caleb missed terrorizing Connor at work. It wasn’t like he could escape him at home, it was perfect. A gentle reminder from Gavin, as well as a hand pressed into the small of his back, made Caleb wave at Hank and proceed out the door. 

Gavin didn’t remove his hand even when they were outside. It was...nice. A million questions rattled around inside Caleb’s head. That was...a nice kiss on Monday, sure. They stole a few any time they could possibly get away with it. Hushed giggles and flushed faces, eyes alight and hands clasped together, fingers intertwined as if they fit there. The missing piece to a puzzle. Caleb liked to think that maybe he could be that for Gavin, and that just maybe Gavin could be that for him. Relationships were hard work. Whether romantic or platonic. It was going to be pretty weird, there was absolutely going to be a learning curve. A human and android relationship was still very new. They weren’t unheard of, of course! But they were...still a little taboo. The thought that he and Gavin could be setting an example for others was terrifying. The smile Gavin gave him once they were in the car made it melt away. 

True to how they had been sneaking around for the week, Gavin leaned over the armrest and pressed a little kiss to Caleb’s cheek. Then the sound of the glove box opening ruined the cute moment. Caleb grinned and grabbed the album Gavin was so fond of, and stuck the disc into the CD player. _No Good_ started playing through the speakers loudly and Gavin leaned in again. Just as innocent as before, a soft smile on his face as he closed his eyes. Caleb took the opportunity to squish his cheeks before planting a kiss on him, making an exaggerated _mwah!_ sound after. It earned him an eye roll as they started to head off to the park. The song was cranked up a little higher, the windows being rolled down to account for other external sounds. Because how bad would it look if a Detective didn’t pull over for an ambulance or fire truck? Pretty fuckin’ bad. 

A majority of the ride was spent with Gavin and Caleb’s hands clasped in one another’s, fingers woven together, and Gavin’s thumb gently stroking the back of Caleb’s hand. Just as they got to the park, that song came on. The one that made Gavin’s shoulders slump on the twenty-eighth of February. So long ago by that time, and yet it was fresh in Caleb’s memory as if it had just happened. The perks of being an android. They were like elephants, they didn’t forget a damn thing. Though before a proper reaction could surface, Gavin took his hand back and shut the car off. Right. Right, they couldn’t just hide out in the car kissing like teenagers in the suburbs. That didn’t stop either of them from leaning forward, accidentally smacking their foreheads together, and then giggling through a chaste kiss. It should have been terrifying that it was so easy to kiss Gavin. Instead it just made it all the more welcoming.

They scrambled out of the car, seeing Chris and Tina already setting up at one of the picnic tables with Kamski, Nines, and Chloe. The group started chatting with each other pleasantly. Questions were asked, only most of the answered. After all, the former CEO of CyberLife had to keep _some_ secrets to himself. Gavin snorted at the comment and excused himself to go talk with Chloe. The rest of them effortlessly blended back together to exchange banter and light-hearted snarky remarks. Pretty soon after, Hank and Connor arrived with Ben Collins in tow. The group welcomed them and they all scattered around the space to hang out and chat. Caleb was honestly...having a great time. Not everyone knew exactly what happened. Connor didn’t even know to the extent of just what happened, how he changed the garden and kept it. Maybe they could interface tonight. Caleb would walk him around the new garden, make a copy of the file and give it to him. 

  
  


“Caleb!” Markus smiled and jogged over, quickly taking the younger android into his arms and giving him a hug. “Connor told me what happened. I can’t stay for very long, but I wanted to come by and give my congratulations.”

“Ah shit, Markus.” Caleb patted Markus’ back and gave him a lopsided grin. “Thanks, man, I appreciate it. Really.”

“Connor _also_ told me about some little, ah, _thing_ you’ve got. For one of your coworkers.” Markus smirked almost devilishly before smoothing it out into a smile. “Workplace romances rarely ever work, Caleb, North and I are an exception.”

“Mm, because we all wanna date a woman who wanted to practically commit genocide at one point.” Caleb shoved his left hand in his pocket and gave a half-assed salute to said woman with his right. She stuck her tongue out at him with a smile and went back to talking to Josh and Simon. “I’m proud of you guys, though. Makin’ it work despite everything around you both.”

“I... Thanks, Caleb.” 

  
  


Markus put a hand on Caleb’s shoulder before gently brushing his thumb against the flickering skin at his temple. It wasn’t to point it out. It was affectionate. It was...nice. Caleb found that he liked it when someone touched where the scar was. People he trusted at least, he suddenly wondered if Gavin would brush his fingers against it if he were to run his fingers through Caleb’s hair. The thought made him flush slightly and clear his throat. A totally meaningless action seeing as he was an android and had no use of it. Markus gave him a knowing smile and then raised his brows, tilting his head in Gavin’s direction. Caleb gave Markus a quick hug and nodded. Fuck it, why not. They had been more or less of an official _Thing_ anyway. 

The fairy lights strung up in the trees mixed with the golden hour of sunlight made a warm glow cast across Gavin's face. Like the fairy lights in his living room. Caleb found himself smiling as he thought about Henry The Cat, and approached Gavin carefully. He had to make it look nonchalant. He couldn’t alert Chloe to anything, because she _would_ know. She’d pick up on it just as quickly as Caleb picked up on her and Connor. Speaking of, he hadn’t seen the two of them get together yet. In a way, he was doing them a service. Right, yeah! He was getting his brother to chat with the girl who may or may not be his girlfriend, and he was going to be-- Oh shit he was basically going to ask out Gavin. Terrifying. Exciting! Caleb wasn’t sure which way was up and which one was down, and opted to trust his gyroscope as he made his way over to Chloe and Gavin. 

She smiled and said something about going to see Connor before skipping away. It was...pretty adorable to watch her go. Skittering up behind Connor and putting her hands over his eyes, a sweet smile on her face as he said something to her the pair couldn’t hear. Just as Connor leaned back against Chloe to look at her lovingly, Caleb turned his eyes away. No, no that was too cute and adorable. If he were human he would have gotten cavities from just how fucking _sweet_ that was to watch. Almost by some instinct, Caleb’s hand reached for Gavin’s. He hooked their pinkies together and watched the rest of their friends and family. Kamski had been talking with Tina for quite some time now, his hand idly resting on Nines’ thigh. Nines was talking at length with Chloe and Connor. Hank and Ben were laughing and joking around with Chris. The Jericho leaders were chatting amongst themselves, making rounds and joining other conversations. Markus made a point to wink at Caleb once. 

None of them seemed to notice the man of the hour and his work partner were missing from the gathering. Other than Markus, but he knew what the younger android was up to. Caleb wondered how long it might take for them to figure it out. Hank and Connor weren’t going to say anything, it had been the first time Caleb had been trusted to wander late at night. Ever. The thought made an excited thrum run through his wires as he looked around at the gathering. Of his friends and family. People who had a basic idea of something bad possibly having happened, and just narrowly avoiding it. Caleb wondered just how much Gavin knew. About CyberLife, Amanda, Kamski’s time there, Caleb and Connor’s production. He deemed it better not to ask, especially as he noticed Gavin’s stress levels go up considerably. They faced one another, Caleb taking both of Gavin’s hands in his own. He might as well do it, then. In romantic lighting, surrounded by friends and family, in an environment that meant something to them both. He took a deep breath that he really didn’t need and tried to speak.

  
  


“I, uhh, I was wondering--”

“Do you wanna go out with me? Not on a date, but that would be nice, I mean, like-- Boyfriends?”

“What…” Caleb blinked a few times and watched as Gavin rolled his eyes and pulled him along a path away from the main get together. “What the hell, that’s what I was gonna say!” He playfully smacked Gavin in the arm and then tilted his head down to press their foreheads against one another, wrapping his arms around the human in the process. “The answer is yes, by the way.”

“Oh, oh that’s…” Gavin went a little limp in Caleb’s hold, and they ended up sitting in the grass. “I think I just almost passed out.”

“Talk about a gay disaster, Gavin Reed.” Caleb nuzzled his nose against Gavin’s for a second before letting their faces rest against each other’s. 

“Fuck off, Caleb.”

  
  


There was a little laugh in his words. A soft puff of breath hitting Caleb’s face and making him smile. Gavin usually initiated it when they were alone. Secluded somewhere. In the archive room, evidence room, the break room late at night, in the squad car, his own car. This time Caleb wanted to start it. There was usually a code of conduct almost, of Caleb following Gavin’s lead and learning how to do certain things that way. This time would be different. The two of them sitting in the grass at the park during golden hour in the city, and Caleb pressing an innocent kiss to his lips. Soft and warm, a little chapped and they tasted like nicotine and chemicals, a little bit of Blistex. But they were Gavin’s and Caleb couldn’t be any happier. Gavin smiled against his lips and whispered, a soft thing that told Caleb Kamski had told him everything. 

  
  


“Congrats on kickin’ the bitch outta your head, by the way.”

“Thank you, Gavin.” 

  
  


Caleb punctuated the phrase with a quick kiss. Which then turned into a slower one, sweet, still somewhat innocent. More tender and calming. At least it _was_ until Tina started hooting and hollering at them from the gathering, her voice getting louder as hurried footsteps came at them both. Caleb laughed a little and dropped his head onto Gavin’s shoulder, hiding his face in his neck. Tina, the ultimate wing-woman, the matchmaker extraordinaire, the right hand of cupid himself, had claimed she failed to even see the romance between the two of them coming. Her excited rambling made Caleb smile, and he listened to Gavin splutter and stammer back at her. This...was good. He wrapped his arms around gavin’s waist just a little tighter, entangled their legs together, and pressed a soft kiss to the side of the human’s neck. For what it was worth, Gavin barely reacted to it. He just tensed up a little before going back to trying to defend himself to Tina. 

  
  


Caleb smiled into the skin on Gavin’s neck and sighed contentedly. 

Life was good. Living was always a new adventure. Being alive was...something better than he could have ever dreamed of. 

  
  
  
  



	14. Do You Think It's Okay?

_ July 1st 2039 9:55 PM _

  
  


Gavin was...different. Not a bad different! It was...good. It was the little things; like holding a door open, getting up to grab something so Caleb didn’t have to stop his interface, grabbing a few thirium packets to keep in his car just in case. They weren’t exactly grand romantic gestures. Honestly, Caleb was pretty sure he’d combust on the spot if they were. Rather, they were simple little things that showed an affection running underneath the actions. They had gotten more bold, really. Eventually they were going to need to make it really official and talk to the HR department about it. There was no doubt that partnerships would be shuffled around because of it. Caleb was going to lament not being able to sneak kisses in Gavin’s car, but it would still be worth it if he could come in and make coffee for him. 

Today had seemed to be no exception to the secret little love language the two of them had created. It wasn’t like the rest of the precinct wasn’t starting to catch on, the way Caleb looked at Gavin just screamed that he loved the man. Upon arriving at the precinct, Caleb had found Gavin slumped over and asleep on his desk. He  _ had _ started to take more time to himself lately, but it was still rather slow going. That was okay. Change took time. Instead of setting the coffee down and shaking his partner awake, Caleb held onto it and leaned over to brush a soft kiss to Gavin’s temple. The sound he made was...well it was something. Not exactly awake enough to be words, but still there. It sounded content, though, and Caleb smiled as he felt Gavin’s fingers brush against his own while handing over the coffee cup. 

At another point, the two of them took Gavin’s lunch break to walk around the park and chat. It was relaxed, comfortable. By the time they had sat down so Gavin could actually eat on his break, Caleb had already run his pre-construction program nearly eight hundred times. He knew they had to talk to Fowler. They had to talk to HR. Fuck, to the other personnel, they needed new partners. Though Gavin put a hand over his and they sat in a contented silence after. He’d probably end up swapped with Connor, working with Hank. Or maybe they would be a bad idea, considering the two of them looked identical. Maybe the twins would work together and then Hank and Gavin would. Caleb snickered as he told Gavin about it. Two men who were rather rough around the edges, one of them dating the other’s son. Oh, the hijinks that would ensue. 

Though at nearly ten at night, the two of them were curled up on the loveseat. Henry The Cat was purring away, happy to be given so much attention. Caleb was practically in Gavin’s lap and fully content to have both himself and the cat trapping Gavin where he was. The television was forgotten in the background as they exchanged stories. Of family and friends, experiences and mishaps. Caleb didn’t tell Gavin how he deviated. Gavin never asked. Even when he had off-handedly mentioned the firewall shattering above him, complete with a dry laugh and shaky breath. Instead, Gavin went quiet before he mentioned Kamski getting his hand stuck in a glass jar, screaming as Gavin tried to pull it off his wrist. The thought of the two of them made Caleb laugh, the still emotionally raw memory of almost dying starting to fade into the background. 

  
  


“You know,” Gavin traced mindless patterns into Caleb’s bicep and spoke in a low voice. “I think she woulda liked you. My, uhh, my mom.”

“You do?” 

“Yeah,” Gavin moved to rest his head against Caleb’s with a soft sigh. He had to try really hard not to burst into tears. “I really do.”

  
  


They ended up falling asleep on the loveseat all curled up with each other. 

Things were certainly different, indeed.

\---

_ July 20th 2039 5:03 PM _

  
  


Throughout the day there were more of those little instances. Well, little and not so little. Currently, Caleb was sitting in the back of an ambulance with Gavin, both of them beat up and a little bloody from a fight gone wrong. The people who had committed the crime were hiding out to see when it would be safe to leave, and just so happened to get caught in the middle of trying to escape. A scuffle ensued, some shots were fired, and pain was felt. Caleb was still being reprimanded for getting shot. Though the way Gavin spoke to him and worried...it was nice. It was mostly overwhelming. But it was nice. It wasn’t anything like how Connor and Hank worried over him. It wasn’t like waking up because he was screaming from a nightmare, or tip-toeing around how quiet he got afterwards. It was in his face. Gavin  _ cared, _ and he absolutely made it known that he did. 

They got up out of the back of the ambulance once Hank and Connor got to the scene. Presumably they were there for the body, though they all knew the two were there to see if everyone was alright. After all, it was only the second time Caleb had been shot. Well. It was the second time a bullet or two had  _ hit _ him. He had been  _ shot at _ plenty of times. This time around four bullets had managed to lodge themselves in his plating and biocomponents. Mostly in his chest, though one of them nicked the side of his neck. Hence why he had bandages around it like someone was trying to sew his head back on or something. Though he waved away his brother and father’s worries, saying he hadn’t lost very much thirium and was still well within functioning capacity. The statement made Gavin frown, but he still opted to lean over and rest his head on Caleb’s shoulder. 

Hank had insisted he take them back home and practically shoved them into the back of his car. Gavin pointed to the street he would have needed to turn onto to drop him off at his cottage. The car didn’t stop. Instead, it kept going until they were back at the Anderson residence. Hank practically ushered the two into the house before grabbing Sumo’s leash and heading back out the door with him. Despite it all, Caleb started snickering and laughing to himself about the whole situation. Apparently, he grinned as he watched Gavin practically collapse on the couch, he would get to return the favour of being allowed to stay over in February. Not that he still felt the need to. But it would have been nice to know they had a silly little exchange going on. One night at one boyfriend’s house, another night at the other one’s, it was cute!

Though Caleb, being the shit that he was, kicked off his shoes before running a hand through Gavin’s hair and telling him he’d be in the shower. The statement got the expected rise in vitals Caleb expected. Increased heart rate, flushed face and ears, quiet mumble saying he heard the statement. The more he learned about teasing Gavin, the more he did it. The fact of the matter was that the human was just too adorable when he blushed. With a nod to Connor, he was on his way to the bathroom. It wasn’t like he hadn’t taken a shower before. In fact, Connor was the one who introduced him to them. Saying that they were an excellent way to unwind after a long day and just have some private time to himself to think. Or not to think, Caleb tended to let himself stand under the spray and just...exist. 

Which was something he would be unable to do that night. One; because he was still pretty bloody and needed to make sure he wasn’t letting too much water into his systems from the wounds. Two; because Hank would probably need to shower that night as well. Thus began the slightly lengthy process of getting undressed and into the stream of warm water. Pain, Caleb had discovered the night he had come alive, wasn’t fun. It reverberated through him and made his muscle relays weary. His joints felt heavier and his programming was sluggish at times. Making the undressing process quite the debacle. Three shots landed in his chest, meaning it hurt for him to bend over and take his godforsaken slacks off. But he was going to do it! For Ra9’s sake, he could undress himself just fine. He just had to keep telling himself that, and he’d be able to get in the shower. 

Once under the water and wetting his hair, Caleb let out a sigh that came from deep within himself. He was bone tired. He was going to need to take a day off to recover, stay home and let his self-repair programs function at full capacity. It sucked having to angle his chest away from the water, and he wanted to be able to take a proper shower as soon as possible. It was the main way he would unwind from stress. Shit, it became a way for Connor and Hank to tell how he was doing. The nights he woke up from nightmares without the screaming, he would make a beeline for the bathroom and hop in the shower. It covered up sound. They wouldn’t hear the pained sounds, the crying, the scared muttering. 

Caleb sighed and ran his hands through his wet hair at the thought. He hadn’t had a nightmare either of the times he had spent the night at Gavin’s. At least not yet. If it was one of the ones where he woke up screaming, there was no doubt that it would freak Gavin out. He’d worry himself sick. Though the thought of Gavin joining him in the shower was...nice. No funny business, as Hank would say. Just the two of them, standing under the water, exposing so much more than just bare skin. They wouldn’t need to say much. Caleb would stand under the water, Gavin would run his fingers through his hair, rest his hands against his chest or back. They’d lean against one another with an understanding. Maybe Caleb would ask about the clean scar on his chest. Maybe Gavin would ask about the lack of his LED. Or they’d be in a comfortable silence. Maybe they’d really wash up, running shampoo through each other’s hair and washing each other’s bodies. Intimacy. The thought was...rather alluring, if Caleb were to be honest with himself. 

He stepped onto the bathmat, which he made a mental note to buy a new one soon, and ran the towel over his head vigorously to dry his hair. Upon wrapping the towel around his waist and reaching for the sink, he realised he didn’t grab any clothes.  _ Fuck. _ While Caleb absolutely was just thinking about being in the shower with Gavin, he didn’t think he was ready for that just yet. He pattered around a few times, bare feet making soft sounds against the tile floor. Ah fuck it, he needed clothes and he wasn’t goig to bother Connor for it. He was probably already comfy in his pajamas and hanging out with Gavin. If the two of them heard what may or may not have sounded like dial-up screeching as soon as the door opened, well, that was none of their business. It was also none of their business if they heard various thumping noises of things falling over and then getting put back in Caleb’s rush to properly get dressed. 

After a quick scuffle with the dresser, Caleb came back into the living room to find four pairs of eyes on him. Though one was excited and came closer to demand love. Caleb, ever the awkward person he had found himself to be, shuffled into the living room and sat on the floor with Sumo. Hank and Gavin were in the kitchen, Connor on the couch flicking through various channels on the television. Caleb was only half listening to the channels, mostly listening to Hank and Gavin’s conversation. Something about ordering in for the night and food preferences. Huh, it sounded like Hank was inviting him to stay for dinner. Caleb looked over to see Gavin practically asleep on the table. Hank looked at him almost fondly and shook his head. The story about finding Henry The Cat echoed in his mind, and Caleb was very suddenly reminded of the fact that the two of them were close once. 

  
  


“Gavin, you’re staying the night.” Hank got up and patted Gavin's shoulder in a way that suggested he didn’t have a say in the matter. “I’ll grab some stuff to set you up on the couch tonight.”

There was no objection from Gavin as Hank went ahead and ordered take-out for them both. Twenty minutes came and went, the food being delivered, and the four of them sitting at the table. Albeit the twins had thirium pouches. Caleb had to drink it at a much slower pace than his brother, considering one of the bullets just narrowly missed one of his major thirium lines. Better to be safe than sorry, really. Besides, how fucking awful would it be to just start  _ leaking _ in front of his boyfriend? Who he watched get all comfortable on the couch as they all got ready to go to bed. The adrenaline had taken quite a bit out of him, even more considering that his loved one got shot at four times. Caleb ran a hand through Gavin’s hair and pressed a kiss to his hairline. Gavin mumbled a soft goodnight, and that he’d see him in the morning. 

Intimacy.

  
  
  
  



	15. But I Am Your Son, For Worse Or For Better

_ July 23rd 2039 12:53 PM _

  
  


“Hey, uhh, Caleb,” Hank eyed his son up and down before raising a brow. “Where’re you goin’ all dressed up like that?”

“I’m...just wearing a dress shirt and slacks? I’m not very dressed up, Dad.” Caleb looked down at himself before meeting his father’s eyes again. “Gavin and I are talking to HR about the fact that we’re in a relationship today. I wanted to look presentable.”

“Oh, that’s oddly responsible of you.” Hank held up a finger and went into the kitchen, coming back into the living room with a lint roller in his hand. “Just use this first, bring it with ya so you can give Gavin a once-over, too.”

  
  


With a shout of his thanks and a wave, Caleb told Hank he’d see him after the meeting. It wasn’t like it was scary, going to talk to his superiors about the fact that he was in a relationship with his partner for a month without telling anyone. No, no, it wasn’t like they could choose to fire him because he went against regulations. Honestly! It wasn’t like he was so nervous about the fact that he was actively fighting off high stress levels. No, everything was going to be perfectly fine. All Caleb had to do was keep telling himself that and he would eventually believe it. The mind was funny that way. So, turning it into his personal mantra in teh taxi, Caleb spent the ride trying to calm himself down. Get his stress levels to an acceptable point before going into the meeting. Once the car pulled up to a stop, Caleb was pleased to see Gavin was already there. He was waiting outside, dressed a little nicer than the usual, and checking his watch. Alrighty then. 

Time to have his professional life weighed by people who had both no right to weigh it, and every right to. 

  
  


\---

  
  


_ July 23rd 2039 2:10 PM _

  
  


Suspension was better than being fired, he supposed. A week wasn’t bad for either of them, nor for the workplace. They needed time to rearrange partnerships and to get everything in order for when they both came back. Fowler said that both of them should have known better. Gavin had been a Detective for a good amount of years at this point, and Caleb literally had all of that shit programmed into him. So, hey, he’d take a week of suspension over being fired any day. Besides, Fowler said that it still hadn’t been the longest someone had gone without reporting their relationship in the workplace. It was mildly terrifying to go into the office. But it was so much better to be able to leave it holding Gavin’s hand all the way to the front doors. The weekend staff had varying reactions to seeing the two of them. Most were of shock. Right, because Gavin used to be an asshole when it came to dealing with androids. 

Apparently Gavin had made plans, a surprise date of sorts, and only said the bare minimum about said date. It wasn’t like it was a big deal. Couples would surprise each other from time to time anyway. It was...normal. As well as the first romantic relationship Caleb had ever been in. The most knowledge he had was from his shitty rom-coms, and whatever snippets of conversation he happened to catch from Connor about Chloe. To be honest...a lot of it lined up pretty well. Or, Caleb at least liked to think it did. He had other friends besides Gavin. Like Tina and Chris mostly, though he was beginning to think that Nines was very quickly becoming a friend of his as well. So it wasn’t like he didn’t know the difference. It wasn’t like he hadn’t really had a relationship outside of his family members. He knew the difference in specific types of love. Hank and Connor are family, Markus too at that point. Nines, Tina, and Chris were his very good friends. Though with Gavin it was...different. 

Gavin had planned a date, they were going on a date. Friends went out on dates, sure, but this was...different. Yeah, Connor would occasionally press a quick kiss to the side of his head when things were... _ really _ bad. But that was it. This? Holding hands with Gavin and climbing into his car to go to an undisclosed location? It was a surprise with romantic intent. It was a  _ date, _ and they were going to do what other couples did. Spend time together and just...exist. Caleb absently wondered if Nines and Kamski ever went out together, he knew that Connor took time to himself to go out with friends. Probably some sort of code for going out with Chloe because he was awkward as hell. It made Caleb smirk as he buckled himself in the car and instantly reached for the  _ A/B _ album. It wasn’t like he and Gavin weren’t sneaking around like human teenagers either, so it wasn’t like he could really say much. 

The drive was much of the same routine the pair had fallen into. Gavin tapping along to the beat on the steering wheel and singing along to the music. Caleb alternating between watching the city pass them by, watching Gavin drive, and singing along to the music with him. It would have been so easy to just download the lyrics. To just sing it that way and get it perfect to sing along with a human who knew all the words by heart. But the look on Gavin’s face the first time he heard Caleb stumble over the words and half mumble some of them. There was no way he couldn’t end up learning the song like how humans did, through repeated exposure and listening to the correct lyrics being sung by his companion. He was trying to sing along to  _ Hot Blood Love, _ on a memorable occasion. About half of it was legible, which was a good effort, really. 

Considering the fact that androids could just download music and play it, that was honestly quite the feat. To be able to ignore the instinct to just download it, understand the music inside and out. There was only one song that Caleb had caved in and done the process with.  _ Vor í Vaglaskógi. _ It wasn’t like Gavin  _ really _ knew what was being said, he just hummed along and knew that it had to be something...emotional in a way. Music could do that to humans. Or rather, humans could do that to music. Suddenly understand it even if they had no idea what the words were. Music followed a pattern, and humans had been harnessing the pattern for thousands of years. Humans almost instinctively knew when a song was meant to be invoking a certain emotional response.  _ Vor í Vaglaskógi _ was no exception, not really. 

Caleb was about to skip to the track just so he could sing it, but Gavin turned down the volume of the radio. Oh. Drive-thru for coffee, in the middle of the afternoon. They eventually pulled up to a small park on the river and settled into place on a picnic bench. It was just about three, and still summer, so the sun still was rather high in the sky. It beat down on the two of them in a way that prompted a legitimate conversation about the weather. Gavin snickered out that they just needed to wait a few days and then they’d get a torrential downpour. Caleb knew it was humid out, the feeling of his synthetic skin being sticky was one of the most unpleasant feelings he had the displeasure of being aware of. So if a torrential downpour was able to break up the humidity? Then shit, he’d take it. Besides, neither humans nor androids much appreciated the heat. It would be better for everyone involved. Gavin laughed loudly when he finished listening to Caleb talk about it. 

  
  


“God, Anderson’s really rubbin’ off on ya.” Gavin snorted and set his latte down with a soft  _ thunk. _ “You really are his kid, aren’t you?”

“I-- Well, I  _ do _ call him my dad. Outside of work, at least.” Caleb smiled and drummed his fingers against his cheek. He was fairly sure Gavin watched the moment with a soft smile. Fairly sure because he was resting his chin in his hand, elbow on his knee and looking out over the water. “Yeah, I guess I am. I like him, he’s my dad. Connor’s my brother.”

“Twenty bucks says I get partnered up with your old man.”

“That doesn’t make sense, though.” Caleb brought up a small hologram in his right palm and showed it to Gavin. It detailed his family tree. “While Hank has all but legally adopted the two of us, we’re still both his sons. On top of that, we consider ourselves twins. Thus we wouldn’t be able to be partnered up together.”

“That...doesn’t exactly contradict my wager, Flicker.” 

“I’m getting there, doofus.” Caleb felt his cheeks heat up before looking down at his hand and avoiding the snicker that came from his boyfriend. “I can’t be partnered with Hank because I live under the same roof as him as his son. I can’t be partnered with Connor because he’s my brother.  _ We’re _ not partners anymore because we’re dating. Which means I’ll probably get partnered up with Tina.”

“Okay, I’ll bite. Why Tina?”

“She’s planning on taking her detective exam in a few days, Gavin. Did you forget about that?” The shocked and suddenly deflated look on the humans face gave Caleb his answer. “Dear, did you forget Tina was going to take it?”

“I never doubted Teenie would for a second! I just forgot she was taking it because of everything going on!” The tips of Gavin’s ears turned red in embarrassment and he sipped at his now cooling coffee with a crease between his brows. “You really are Hank’s kid, I swear to shit. He used to ask me deadpan questions like that all the goddamn time.”

  
  


To be compared to Hank was both a compliment and something to think about. Humans often complained about becoming more and more like their parents. Though, in Caleb’s case, he thought it was more of a compliment. Hank was stubborn and hard-headed, sure. He could be a downright bastard if it came down to it. But that was the thing. If it came down to it. So, being a smug asshole like he had learned from both his father and his boyfriend’s antics, Caleb kissed Gavin on the cheek and thanked him for the statement. It got a very flustered and red-faced remark. But oh was it worth it to see the tiny little smile that shook from trying to be contained. A red face that flushed deeper the second Caleb started to hum and pull Gavin closer to himself. An arm wrapped around his shoulders, gently rubbing at the fabric of the sleeve, and a soft sigh being both heard and felt. 

It wasn’t much, but Caleb started to sing  _ Vor í Vaglaskógi _ to Gavin. The human instantly recognised it, and leaned more into Caleb despite the fact that he was singing. While androids didn’t sing like humans did, it still required an intake of air. Their biocomponents strained a little bit from not keeping the regular steady programmed rhythm. Thus, they had to take deeper breaths to ensure their insides wouldn’t overheat too much. Sort of like a singing human. Not really, but the similarities were glaringly obvious. Despite that, Gavin leaned up against him. Eyes closed and a contented smile on his face. Caleb let his hands rest against Gavin’s waist and quietly sang the song to him.

  
  


\---

  
  


_ July 23rd 2039 5:32 PM _

  
  


“Guess who got suspended!” Caleb shouted much too enthusiastically as he closed the front door. “It was me and Gavin! It’s only for a week though, so it’s chill.”

  
  


The looks he got from Hank and Connor should have been enough to kill him on the spot, but honestly speaking, nothing was going to be able to sour his mood tonight. Caleb kicked off his shoes and then explained the situation as calmly as he could. His family understood, though not without Hank smirking and asking how his date was. Oh. There it was. The thing that Gavin mentioned how Hank used to ask him questions like that all the time. Caleb could see the similarities now that they were laid out in front of him. It wasn’t...bad. It was kind of nice to know he was becoming increasingly human as time went on. Caleb, begrudgingly, said that his date was nice and that they had a good time together. The tone of his voice almost sounded like Hank’s even. It was...odd to hear that same annoyed but willing to talk about the topic at hand. 

It was weird being a part of a family. It was weird living a life. It was weird being in love. That was what his life was now, wasn’t it? Weird? A plethora of strange events and reactions, emotions drawn out and memories remembered. The experiences and emotions and memories, all compiling to create him as he was. Caleb was not just another android, the other RK800, he was himself. His life was his own. Created with the help of those around him. It was certainly weird to think about indeed. 

  
  
  
  



	16. Despite The Fact That You Are A Homewrecker

_August 31st 2039 2:48 AM_

  
  


Not being on call was...amazing. For fucking once he was able to get off of work, though not without giving Tina the hug she deserved, and head over to Gavin’s. Not because it was late and he didn’t want to wake up Hank by coming in late. But because he could just...stay out at night. There was nothing stopping him now, nothing could happen that brought Amanda back and caused her to-- Well. Nothing inherently bad could happen. Being able to show up at Gavin’s with take-out and his plan for a night of shitty board games was...exhilarating. Being able to chat with him well into the night while laying together in bed was something he never could have imagined for himself. Being able to exist as he wanted, as he saw fit, was something Caleb never even realised he desperately wanted. 

Just because he could, Caleb had decided not to go into stasis right away. There was something intimate in being able to hold Gavin against himself and watch his body rise and fall with each breath. Something intimate in laying in the same bed with their legs tangled together and arms around each other. Even as Gavin was asleep he was...making Caleb’s thirium pump do all sorts of things it wasn’t supposed to. Making his code run in circles, and making his OS confused about what processes to actually devote time and effort to. The fact that Gavin made him react that way should have been terrifying; and it absolutely was, but the idea of being able to experience it at all just made Caleb sigh contentedly. He was alive. Of course he was. But being with Gavin made feel alive just...a little bit more. 

Night was a pleasant time. The world was quiet for the most part. He liked the way the world grew quiet, how it would slowly wake up. As the sun rose and cast a cold blue light over the city, as everything was bathed in such a pure and… There was no way to really describe Blue Hour. It was a feeling that seeped into the core of his very being. Something that humans had experienced for thousands of years. Though there was something about it that Caleb felt no living being was prepared for. Despite the fact that it happened every morning and every night, there was just... _something_ about it. The natural state of the world and how _quiet_ it was. Hank had equated it to the good version of “sad boi hours” one time. Connor had described it as a time so utterly in sync with the natural world it felt...almost unearthly. Caleb had to agree to an extent. The total peace and calmness he felt during Blue Hour in the morning was relatively unmatched. Relatively because he wasn’t sure if anything else would bring him as much peace as that, but he had a lot of time to figure out if something else did.

  
  


“What’s the prognosis, Osmosis?” A sleepy and rumbly voice beside him made Caleb jump a little bit.

“Gavin, I love you dearly, I really do. But what the _fuck_ does that mean?”

“Not too sure, Eli started saying it and now I do too.” Gavin shrugged and happily gasped when Henry The Cat jumped up on the bed. “It’s just a thing from when we were kids, I guess.”

“Strange, but I can’t say I’m surprised.”

“C’mon, don’t watch me sleep, ya fuckin’ creep.” Gavin tried to burrow deeper into Caleb’s chest, making him let out a laugh and pulled the blanket up a bit more over them both. “I love you.”

“I…” He hadn’t heard Gavin say those words directly to him yet. Caleb hadn’t truly said them to Gavin yet, either. “I love you, too, Gavin.”

  
  


\---

  
  


_August 31st 2039 7:10 PM_

  
  


Caleb, having the mind of an android-- Scratch that. The mind of a _socially awkward_ android. Well, it was no surprise that he was rather flustered all throughout the day. If Gavin remembered saying that he loved him, he sure didn’t seem like it. After all, he had just woken up. Luckily he was getting good at this whole domesticity thing. The getting up the next morning, watching Gavin step over his cat as he spoke to her, chatting and doing various activities together. Caleb had watched him cook, had watched him as he listened to music, watched as he dropped a pen and sighed before going to pick it back up. That was all well and good. It was nice to be able to just...see Gavin. Without any of who he was at work or who he tried to be in front of other people in general. 

Though with that in mind; Caleb realised he still didn’t really _know_ anything about the human next to him on the loveseat. There was the scar on his chest that had eluded any explanation. From what little of it was visible, it looked like it was from a blade. It seemed to be in a straight line and was very light against Gavin’s skin. Likely from an altercation, though who was Caleb to really know? It would have been better to just ask him about it rather than go looking through possible police reports. Then on top of that there was the connection to Kamski and how they had drifted apart. Gavin had mentioned that the two of them were half-brothers before, and Kamski had been close enough with him at one time that the guest room was likely his room at one point. Something didn’t just...tear people apart if they were that close. It had to be something out of their control. 

Of course, there was the mystery of his mother, though Caleb didn’t entirely want to ask about that. It was a statistical improbability that Gavin had actually given him an answer in the first place. There was the possibility that her passing was what caused the two brothers to drift apart. However, that would mean that it was somewhat recently, and that neither of them had been in good standing with one another since then. It would also imply that Kamski had...known her. That her passing had affected him as well. That she wasn’t only Gavin’s mother, but Elijah’s as well. In fact, Gavin had just mentioned that he “knew a guy” that could help Caleb with his flickering skin. If they were closer, then that wouldn’t have been said. It would have been his brother. Their mother was likely what drove them apart. Or rather, it was the lack of her being in their lives that did it. 

  
  


“You know, despite knowing quite a bit about you,” Caleb turned and looked at Gavin. Nothing was really in the look. It was more of a mild curiosity. “I still don’t really _know_ some of the more important things, Gav.”

“It’s… It’s complicated.” Gavin turned his eyes downward and took a deep breath. “What do you want to know?”

“Okay, call me anticlimactic, but,” Caleb hooked a finger around the collar of Gavin’s shirt and pulled it down enough to see the scar on his chest. “I wanna know how you got that scar.”

  
  


Gavin let out a shaky laugh and nodded. Though his hands shook as he grabbed the shirt and pulled it off. Caleb-- Okay, well, he wasn’t going to say he didn’t enjoy looking at Gavin’s chest. It was nice. Aesthetically pleasing. Even if it looked like he had a carpet of hair on it. Caleb forced his eyes to the scar, following it down halfway across one of Gavin’s pecs. It was almost white, it looked a little textured even. The wound hadn’t healed properly. Caleb extended one hand and traced his fingertips over it back and forth. It was smooth, actually, only slightly bumpy in the very middle. The sound that came out of Gavin was...embarrassed almost. Like he hadn’t actually wanted Caleb anywhere near his bare chest. Like he didn’t actually want him to see it. 

  
  


“That one was a knife fight. It went down into the bone, I thought I was gonna fuckin’ die there was so much blood.” Gavin took Caleb’s hand and directed it toward a scar on his external abdominal oblique muscles that looked like old sutures. “This one’s a surgical scar, they had to go in and set a broken rib so it didn’t puncture my lung.”

“What about this one?” Caleb’s hand moved to the circular shaped scar on Gavin’s left bicep. It was lower, off to the side a bit. 

“I, uhh,” Gavin swallowed audibly and didn’t move Caleb’s hand. “I got shot. You know how it is. I also got shot here,” Gavin pointed to a spot on his thigh. “Here,” To a streak across his lower ribs on his right side. “And here.” Gavin brought a leg up to poke at his calf.

  
  


So that was how it went. Caleb poking and prodding at Gavin and asking him how he got his scars. Somehow, it resulted in Gavin laying half on Caleb in the loveseat in just his boxers. To be honest, Caleb was more than happy to have the contact. With not being able to really see each other at work, it felt… Well, he wasn’t sure how it felt. But he didn’t like it. Though this was something he could get used to. Could see himself doing day in and day out. Caleb sat on the floor with Gavin in his lap, running his fingers through Gavin’s hair and immediately moving to gently drag his nails along his scalp once the human tensed under his touch. He almost immediately relaxed at the sensation. This was...homey. Not like Hank’s and how there was always _some_ sort of strange noise; usually from Hank himself actually. Home with Gavin was a different kind, it was a little warmer. Or a little closer. Maybe a little more...physical. 

Gavin was a different kind of home. The thought was...scary actually. But the kind of scary that a rollercoaster was, or that ride that dropped you almost two stories. It was an exciting kind of scary that Caleb had hardly ever experienced before. That wasn’t going to stop him though. Actually, it never would have. The thing that he had found with Gavin, the...whatever it was about him that made Caleb’s thirium pump stutter and his biocomponents feel like they weren’t working correctly. He was always so excited whenever he saw Gavin at work. Even more so if they were able to sneak a kiss or two to one another before they had to move on to whatever they were doing beforehand. Being able to go over to his cottage, walk in, and have Gavin light up when he saw him come through the doorway. That was something...incredible. Something Caleb was never aware he could ever really have. 

  
  


“Dear,” Caleb moved a hand so it could instead rub against Gavin’s bicep. “Did you know you said you loved me this morning?”

“Mm, I remember.” Gavin smiled as he moved to sit up and face Caleb, his eyes flitting down at Caleb’s lips for a second. “Barely. But I remember.”

“You do?” Caleb couldn’t help the blush that rose to his cheeks as he was frozen with a mixture of anticipation and being very flustered. “Are you just saying that, or do you remember?”

“Oh, I remember. You said you loved me too.” Gavin moved forward to press a quick peck to his lips. “And that you,” Another quick peck. “Are adorable,” Peck. “When you’re,” Peck. “Flustered.”

  
  


Caleb pressed his face into his hands and let out a high-pitched squeaking noise. It took a second, Gavin paused before he actually started laughing. Gavin! Laughing! At his own boyfriend’s distress! How awful! Thus, the punishment of peppering his face with kisses was, of course, the most logical conclusion. Caleb removed his hands from his own pace, and squished Gavin’s instead. A delightful little shocked and happy sound came from him. Only to be replaced by roaring laughter as Caleb pressed littled kisses all over his face. Though, much to Gavin’s apparent displeasure, he never kissed the human’s lips. Which in turn resulted in what almost seemed like a war between the two of them. Squishing - or trying to in Gavin’s case - each other’s cheeks and showering the other in little kisses. Always _just_ short of giving an actual kiss. Gavin kissed the corner of Caleb’s mouth, Caleb kissed Gavin’s chin. 

It probably would have kept going for another three minutes until Gavin caved in and gave Caleb a kiss, but Henry The Cat meowed rather loudly because no one was paying attention to her. The pair dropped their hands from each other’s faces and immediately started showering the fat cat in love and pets and kisses. She had Caleb draped around her fat little paws, and she absolutely fucking knew it. Though, as he gave her pets and watched Gavin apologise profusely to her; Caleb realised he didn’t care. In fact, he absolutely loved it. He really could get used to this. Spending time with Gavin, doing stupid things like kissing all over each other’s faces, sitting together and telling stories about their bodies. Gavin probably had much more riveting tales that Caleb. Considering he was initially made by his brother, then assembled in CyberLife’s sub-basement. But, Caleb briefly reminisced about the night he came alive, it would still be a story nonetheless. So with a quick - and proper - kiss to Gavin, Caleb let himself enjoy the simplicity he had in being in love. 

  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Here's some stuff on Blue Hour!!](https://www.timeanddate.com/astronomy/blue-hour.html) (That's also the website I use to get all of the dates for my stories! They're chronologically accurate!) Personally, it's my favourite time of day. Golden Hour is beautiful and perfect for photography. But Blue Hour,,,, hoo boy
> 
> Fun fact about the phrase "what's the prognosis osmosis", apparently that's _not_ a normal thing for people to say! My sister is about six years older than me, thus she got exposed to more early 2000's music than me. Or, well, she remembers it better. That's beside the point though.
> 
> The point is that she used to say that all the goddamn time. To the point where I thought everyone said it when I was little. Flash forward to today while I'm writing and I get curious. Just how common is it for people to say it? It's not. It's not at fucking all. It's the lyrics of a goddamn song. 
> 
> Heavy Artillery by Mr. Lif: "Fall into deep psychosis, what's the prognosis? /  
> Osmosis: underwater diffusion" Like?????? I'm gonna mcfreaking lose it. My sister was just referencing a song this _whole goddamn time_


	17. I Guess That's Who You Are

_September 21st 2039 4:25 PM_

  
  


Life was...simple now. Well, no, it actually wasn’t. Life was just as rocky and awful as usual. There were still murders, there were still drugs, there were still so many injustices that Markus was trying to desperately fix every day. But outside of all of that, life was simple. Get up, go to work, try not to get shot again, clock out, go home - sometimes go home with Gavin - and relax, go to bed; rinse and repeat. Breaking the day down into the most basic sense of what it was actually helped in a way. Telling Caleb that it was a routine. Told him that was all it was. A day. The sun would set, then it would rise again, and he would try again. On and on. Virtually forever. Okay, maybe it was exhausting. To go into work every day and do his job. Having to stay impartial and keep his emotions right in his chest until he could go home and talk to his family about it. Caleb had never been particularly shaken by a case yet, at least until now. 

Routine homicide; the killer started with someone they knew and dumped the body in a haste to get away to cover their tracks. It was an android, murdering their former human. Their former owner. Caleb had only ever been “owned” by CyberLife so he didn’t understand the android’s pain. Connor had only ever been “owned” by CyberLife, and technically Hank, so he didn’t have any idea either. It wasn’t like there were any other androids working there, so the android, while in holding, started screaming and messaging the two brothers. They kicked and screamed and threatened any of the human personnel that even dared to go down the hall to holding. By the time they got dragged into the interrogation room, the brothers were exhausted from the onslaught of forced information in their systems. The android knew exactly what they were doing. They knew it was an open and shut case. So they must have panicked, and they got all cocky. 

The twins had been the ones to interrogate them. To try and understand just why they had decided to carve binary into the human’s flesh. It was ritualistic. The DPD, Caleb and Tina, had found them hunched over the dead human with a knife, absolutely covered in blood. They grinned as Caleb recounted the event to them. They looked...excited. Then they placed both hands on the table, over the thirium stain where Carlos Ortiz’s android had bashed their head in on the table, and they whispered that they were going to do the same to the brothers. Ordinarily that wouldn’t have bothered either of them. It would have been a walk in the park because it wasn’t the first threat either of them had gotten. However, it was the first time someone has threatened Connor’s life while Caleb was right next to him. Vividly and explicitly describing how they would tear Connor apart and play with his wires. Send electrical shocks to his body to make him “dance” as the android had said. 

Hank had to wrestle Caleb out of the room. 

Right now, Caleb was sitting at Tina’s desk, playing with a little tangle toy she had. It was blue, pink, and white. The toy helped keep his mind stimulated just enough that he wouldn’t go into boredom induced stasis. The sensors in his fingertips told him that it was plastic, it had all sorts of scrapes and indentations in it, what various traces of smudged lotion was left on it. Caleb’s favourite that Tina used was one that smelled like flowers. Not that he’d tell anyone that. He had to keep some secrets for himself. But fuck, did that one smell good. Though the tangle toy was simply that, a small toy, Caleb understood why Tina kept it around. It was almost calming to take it and mess with it. To absently twist and twirl it around his fingers almost like Connor did with his quarter. The thought of Connor and his quarter almost made Caleb put the plastic toy down, though he looked up to see Tina walking out of the observation room with a hand over her forehead. He watched her walk over, though she said nothing about her chair being taken already. Instead, Tina bent over to get into the top drawer of her desk and pull out a sparkly green hairbrush. 

  
  


“Hey bud,” Tina ran her brush through Caleb’s hair, and exhaled a soft laugh when he melted a little bit. “We’re taking a break, how’re you holding up?”

“Is it still illegal for me to punch someone who threatened my brother’s life?”

“Uhh, lemme check.” Tina hollered for Officer Lewis and snickered when he looked over. “Hey Rob! Still illegal to punch someone for threatening the life of a loved one?”

“That’s still assault, yes.” The man smirked at Tina before nodding to Caleb. “Can’t say I blame ya though. That’s one fucked up killer you guys brought in.”

“Ugh, tell me about it.” Caleb could hear Tina’s arms hit her sides before she went back to brushing his hair. “I swear they’ve got a manifesto or something.”

  
  


Caleb continued to let Tina brush through his hair and listened to her talk with her old partner. In some spark of genius, Caleb got an idea. Connor was going to be quite obviously shaken up after hearing what that android had said. Caleb was supposed to be spending the night at Gavin’s. Why not make it into some double date to help everyone decompress from the situation? Not only would Caleb get to see Chloe again and tell her embarrassing stories about Connor, but Gavin could see her as well and they could talk. However, Chloe could also tell embarrassing stories about Gavin, and Connor could see who Gavin was outside of work. So without having any reason not to do it, Caleb messaged Chloe and asked if she would like to be involved in a double date. Unsurprisingly, she said she thought it would be fun, and they planned a fun night indoors. It mostly involved board games. 

Though until they were back at Gavin’s, Caleb was going to enjoy Tina playing with his hair. She was still talking with Officer Lewis in the background. Despite the whole, y’know, suspect threatening his brother’s life, Caleb felt oddly at ease. What a fucked up thing. His brother just got told he was going to be used as a mad scientist’s puppet and then there Caleb was getting his hair brushed while enjoying it like a cat. Though he did invite Chloe over for a surprise double date! That had to count for something and show how he was coping with the situation. One was rather...self-indulgent. But the other was actually rather considerate and very nice! Or at least Caleb liked to think so. He was honestly still pissed and only distracted by Tina brushing his hair. He could understand why some humans did it to calm down, the feeling was very nice. 

  
  


\---

  
  


_September 21st 2039 7:48 PM_

  
  


Well, Connor and Gavin got along rather well outside of work at least. Chloe was currently sprawled out on the loveseat with Henry The Cat purring away while laying on her chest. Connor and Gavin were in somewhat of a debate over different rules in the game _Uno,_ despite the fact that it was just a regular card game. Meanwhile Caleb was sitting on the floor, content as ever, and petting Henry The Cat with Chloe. At least until there was a sudden knock on the door. Which was...unexpected enough that Gavin looked around at everyone first before going to look through the peep-hole in the door. His shoulders relaxed after a second, and he opened the door to let in whoever it was inside. Caleb tried to call for Connor, though he was stopped by Nines and Kamski walking through the doorway. Oh huh. Maybe Gavin invited them once Caleb let him know Chloe and Connor were coming over. 

That was a weird thought. Well, weird but also absolutely delightful. That Gavin just didn’t care who came over as long as he was told by Caleb first. What an odd and wonderful idea. They had only been an official couple since June seventeenth, and yet they already had some sort of...routine together. On top of Caleb spending most of his nights at Gavin’s house in recent weeks, and the two of them practically having a life together. Caleb had long since stopped staying in the guest room. Gavin had long since lost his modesty with Caleb over. Though he still did shut himself away when getting undressed, which Caleb thought was cute because of the way he would stammer and blush. But that was beside the point. The point was that Gavin had...gotten used to having Caleb in his home. Caleb could walk around the cat like he had been doing it since the very first day he was created. He knew where everything was. He knew how Gavin liked the house to be arranged and why he loved tacky carpeting and wanted it in the house. 

They had gotten used to living together, basically. The thought was exciting. It was nerve wracking. Living together was a make-it or break-it kind of situation in relationships. What if they realised that seeing each other at work and at home was too much, that the stresses of their work put stresses on their relationship. Though...one look at Kamski and Nines told him that it _could_ work. Nines didn’t have a job by _conventional means,_ and he had lived with Elijah since November. The two of them absolutely had _something_ going on and they managed to make it work. So maybe Caleb and Gavin could make it work, then. At that, Caleb started to relax a little bit more. To lean into Chloe’s side a little bit so he could talk directly to Henry The Cat, and listened as she laughed. He could just manage to see Connor out of the corner of his eye. The look on his face. The utter giddiness and peace, the adoration and...just love. Caleb wanted to have that with Gavin. He thought that maybe he could. 

Soon after Chloe and Caleb started showering Henry The Cat in compliments and gave her pets and love and kisses, Gavin clapped his hands and said they were going to play _Uno_ just to spite Connor and see how it went. They laid down some ground rules, considering there were going to be four androids playing, and said they couldn’t use any of their sub-routines in the background to help themselves out. They had to play like humans did. Turn their backs to the void and start walking into it. Needless to say, Gavin was a bit cocky about the possibility of winning. It wasn’t like it was unheard of. Sometimes the two of them sat on the loveseat and watched old game shows. It usually ended in Gavin half shouting the answer and getting a little frustrated when the contestants got it wrong. Mean that Caleb, as nicely as he could, said that he was going to absolutely destroy Gavin in _Uno_. Thus began the game and all the frustration with it. 

It lasted quite some time, actually. The six of them all trying to ruin each other and somehow failing to. Eventually though, the game started to drag on well into the night, and three of them had work in the morning. It went from trying to demolish each other, to asking what cards Nines needed in order to actually end the game. Oddly enough, Chloe was the one who ended up winning the game. Hugs were shared, naturally, and Connor even was so bold as to lean across the little circle they had created to press a quick kiss to her lips. Caleb shouted and threw some of the cards in the air, as well as Gavin, to show that he had thought they were adorable. Also to be a little shit and annoy his older brother. That was always going to be a fun pastime regardless of where they were and how old they actually were. 

Eventually, they had managed to get Chloe and Connor into the guest room and Kamski and Nines into a hotel nearby. Connor had insisted he just bring Chloe back to Hank’s, but Gavin refused. It had been such a long time since he was able to just sit and relax with his old friend and he wanted to keep her nearby for as long as she liked. He also tried to seem nonchalant about the sappiness and said it would be easier if the three of them carpooled to work in the morning, rather than pay for taxi fares. Connor only smiled and nodded, thanking Gavin for the makeshift pajamas, and mostly closed the door to the guest room for the night. Leaving Gavin and Caleb to get into their own pajamas and then into the human’s bed. Caleb reached into his drawer in Gavin’s dresser and pulled out the sweatpants and hoodie from the first night he had spent the night. Sure, it was a little absurd to just wear Gavin’s clothes, but they were _Gavin’s,_ and that was what made them even more comfortable to sleep in. Gavin turned off the bedside lamp and practically curled into Caleb’s side. 

  
  


“Hey,” Gavin's voice was quiet in the dark. Calm and at peace. “I’ve got a question for ya. Probably not the best one to ask while I’m tired as shit, but I’m gonna do it.”

“Gavin, you’re slightly incoherent.”

“Shoosh, listen to me.” Gavin placed a hand on Caleb’s face, making the android snort softly and shake his head in amusement. “Do you wanna move in with me?”

  
  


Well that was...both completely expected and completely unexpected. Sure he had thought about it before. Hell, sometimes Caleb daydreamed about what their lives would be like together at work. Mostly while he was supposed to be doing his files and reports, guilty as charged. But they had only been a real _thing_ since June, it was a grand total of ninety-six days. Though...it wasn’t as if Caleb hadn’t been thinking about it for a little while now. Androids experienced time differently than humans did. Because of their typical three year lifespan before the revolution, it was common for them to jump into relationships because that was just how little time they had. But now...they had so much more time. Caleb had so much more time. 

  
  


“Yeah,” Caleb rubbed Gavin’s shoulder and moved to look into his boyfriend’s eyes. “I’d love to move in.”

  
  
  
  



	18. One, Two, Three

_ October 1st 2039 12:38 PM _

  
  


“Alright!” Gavin straightened back out, wiping the back of his hand against his forehead with a grin. “That’s the last of your unreasonably gigantic boxes. Now we gotta  _ un _ pack all your shit.”

“Or, and hear me out, love,” Caleb couldn’t help the smile on his face when Gavin blushed. “We could relax for an hour or so before going back to all of... _ this. _ ”

“I am perfectly okay with that plan.”

  
  


Caleb admired Gavin for what had to be the millionth time that day. The weekend was the best time to move, genuinely. Neither of them had work, Caleb didn’t have to hear about Connor’s most recent date with Chloe at the table during breakfast, and most importantly, Caleb had been able to look at Gavin for an hour and no one could say a goddamn thing. What would he say? His boyfriend was attractive. Caleb was personally a sucker for when Gavin would run a hand through his hair and muss it up a little bit. It would stick from the sweat on his forehead, but it was still. Hm. Caleb didn’t want to think of it as sexy, but that was what it was. He quickly shoved down the feeling in his chest at the thought and forced himself to flop down on the kitchen floor. Linoleum was a lot cooler than the carpet, and he was heating up from having to keep himself active for nearly three hours. It was better to take a break and cool down rather than to keep going and risk forced stasis in a few hours. 

Besides, Gavin was sitting on the floor against some of the bottom cabinets. Well it was more of him scooting backwards from grabbing a cold water bottle from the fridge, as well as a dark blue water bottle-- Oh, it was thirium. Caleb mumbled out his thanks and let it rest horizontally over his eyes, it was nice to have his cranial processor cooled down. After the night of the demonstration, it had gotten exponentially harder for him to keep his cranial components cool on his own. There was more than one occasion where Hank had decided to drop a bucket of ice water on his head, or the many times that Connor had given him an ice pack. Though Gavin, the sweetheart he was, just handed him a bottle of cold thirium and breathily laughed as it was balanced over Caleb’s eyes. Well, the man better get used to it, because this was going to be his life now. Caleb looked out for Gavin when he worked himself too hard, and Gavin looked out for Caleb when  _ he _ worked himself too hard. This...was their new normal. Caleb found himself absolutely loving the idea.

After a half hour of laying on the kitchen floor, Caleb finally got up and scooted to sit next to Gavin. They leaned back up against the cabinets, every time Gavin moved the one behind him would  _ clunk _ gently. The two of them spoke quietly. Gavin of how much he hated moving, especially when it was still warm out. Caleb of how he was excited to have the experience, now. Right, he had never moved before. Moving out and then into somewhere new was completely different than knowing the beginning of his life somewhere. Sure he had  _ technically _ lived at CyberLife, but that was a mere technicality at best. Hank’s house was his first home. Filled with love and curses and Sumo hair  _ everywhere. _ Gavin’s would be his second. Gavin’s little cottage with fairy lights in the windows and billowy white curtains. With a grey shag carpet and a monochromatic colour scheme for each room. Even the bathroom! The only colour was yellow, and that was in the fairy lights in the windows! Another half hour went by with Caleb snickering through his assessment of the cottage and how he was going to help “liven it up a little” as soon as he could. Gavin smirked, almost daringly, and told him to go ahead and try. 

  
  


\---

  
  


_ October 9th 2039 4:02 AM _

  
  


Caleb shot upright in bed, shaking like a leaf and vaguely aware of how his sudden shift in movement made Gavin wake up. But it was too  _ wet _ around him. It was cold, it was so cold. Rain was pelting against the windows, thunder rumbling in the distance, and Caleb only faintly wondered why he couldn’t feel it on his skin. Why he couldn’t feel it seeping into his clothes. He could  _ feel _ the water-- Connor.  _ Connor _ felt the water.  _ Connor _ jumped from Jericho. Not Caleb. But that didn’t keep him from shaking, from curling in on himself and trying not to feel the shockwaves of the explosion in the water. It didn’t keep him from feeling how Connor got shot, pressed his fingers against the wound, and watched the blue blood glisten in the low light while briefly pondering his mortality. It absolutely didn’t keep him from remembering Connor going off by himself in that church and lifting his shirt to look at the repairing wound in his abdomen; just to find how terrified he was of the thought his life could be snuffed out so quickly. 

Connor’s fears were his own now. Caleb had new fears, but they always went back around to Connor’s. His fear of heights, of open bodies of water, of fire and explosions. Each and every fear Connor thought was his own secret in his impending deviancy, was now Caleb’s. The weight of the knowledge made Caleb’s shoulders slump. Made him let out a low whine as he felt tears prick at his eyes. Beside him, Gavin was now sitting up, fully awake and trying to get him to explain what was wrong. Caleb didn’t move. He stayed curled in on himself and said nothing. He couldn’t, not really, his processes were prioritising his processing power to making sure he didn’t overheat from the sudden increase of his stress levels. So Gavin opted to quietly speak to him and hold Caleb in his arms. Caleb...went almost entirely limp. The only parts of him that didn’t were his hands, and they were gripping at Gavin’s shirt. 

  
  


“You’re gonna be okay, you’re gonna be fine, I’m right here.” Gavin pressed a kiss to his temple, unknowingly kissing the scar from the night of the demonstration. “I’ve got no idea what just happened, or what your nightmare was about. But I’m  _ here, _ and I’m not leaving until you tell me that you’re okay enough for me to let go.”

"̴͙̭̎P̵̙̂̑l̷̟̠̈́ẹ̸̈ḁ̵͈̚s̷̈͘͜ȇ̷̦͜,̷̮͕̽͐"̷̜̜̈́ Caleb shuddered out his speech, knowing fully well there was a twenty-eight percent chance Gavin didn’t understand him through the static. "̷̳P̶̬̿͘l̸̖̀ẹ̵̈́a̸̧̐̐s̵̨̯̐́e̷̱͍̔ ̷̙̄s̵̝͓̀̕t̶̬͙͝a̸̢̺̓y̵̝͊.̵̠̱͋̈́ ̷͈̙̚Ȉ̵̤̩ ̷̝̜̉d̵̡͂͊ơ̶͍n̴̘̦̊͝'̷̺͕̌t̶̺̯͐̕ ̴̹̯w̵͇͝a̸̯̬͑̚n̴̩̭̆̇t̵̜͐̿ ̸̰̔͛t̴̲͖̍ǒ̷͖̓ͅ ̵̛̟̲̅b̵̠̄͗e̶̤̩̽ ̶̨͓̄ä̷̤̮l̵̖͇͋o̸͔̗͋n̸̲̈́ȇ̵͉.̴͖̱̈́"̷̧̱́

“Alright, alright, I’ll stay.” Gavin pulled the blankets back up and wrapped the two of them together under them. “It’s okay, I’m here. I’m not going anywhere.”

"̸I̷ ̸l̴o̸v̴e̴ ̷y̸o̶u̵,̵ ̸G̵a̵v̵i̶n̵.̵"̶

“I love you too, Caleb,” Gavin led Caleb’s head to his chest, making the android listen to his heartbeat. “I love you so goddamn much.”

  
  


The two of them laid in bed like that until the first signs of the sunrise. Well, Gavin sat up against the headboard with Caleb being the one curled up against his side. Usually, Caleb recalled the memory files with a slight smile, it was the other way around. Usually Caleb was the one to be holding Gavin. Though it was for no reason other than he could and they both enjoyed it. Tonight it was because of the nightmares. The unpleasant memory cycles.  _ Connor’s _ unpleasant memories were swirling around his head again, and he had no idea how to fix it. He had made so many of his own memories, both good and bad, and yet it was always Connor’s that shook him to his core. Maybe because that was how he was defined as for so long, even by himself. The other Connor. A bargain bin Connor. A broken Connor. Despite the fact that his brother was his  _ hero _ and he looked up to him like any younger brother would to the older; Caleb was always haunted by Connor. 

Maybe that was why he had the nightmares. Maybe that was why he evaluated himself so poorly. Because Connor was older, he was there first, everyone knew him better. Caleb had practically just stumbled in one day and the other shrugged and went “alright this is pretty weird, but adult life is also pretty weird” and then went about their days as usual. Though...maybe they all warmed up to him so quickly  _ because _ of Connor. They looked identical, minus the LED and the scar. They sounded identical, other than when one of them would imitate Hank to make the other personnel laugh. They went about cases the same, the only difference was their partners. Maybe that was it. They were the same but different. The brothers were similar enough to play into peoples’ interest of them both, to see how they differed because everyone at the DPD was so used to Connor. 

Caleb looked out the window, an internal clock telling him it was five in the morning. Blue Hour had just begun. There Caleb was, curled against Gavin’s side and listening to his heartbeat. The skin on his temple faded back into existence and he finally began to relax. There was no Jericho, there was no C4, there was no explosion. Well there was, but that was in the past. Before he had become his own. Before he had come alive. Caleb closed his eyes, sighing deeply and wrapping his arms around Gavin’s waist. Nightmares sucked, unpleasant memory cycles sucked, fears sucked. But he had his friends and his family, not to mention someone he felt could help him grow as a person. Not only in living a domestic life, but also in how to be more...human. Caleb muttered his love for Gavin before watching a stasis timer tick down, listening to Gavin return the sentiment quietly.

  
  


\---

  
  


_ October 31st 2039 3:21 PM _

  
  


By some miracle, Fowler let Caleb and Gavin off early. Probably because the two of them would shut up about Halloween. The captain apparently had a soft spot for androids who had never experienced the spooky day, seeing as Hank and Connor were also let off early. Personally speaking, Caleb was very excited to see what traditions Gavin had. It wasn’t like he hadn’t mentioned the scary movies or the candy, but Caleb was very excited to have his first experience with the day. It would also technically be their first big holiday as a couple. Meaning Gavin wanted to do a couple’s costume, meanwhile Caleb just wanted to throw on whatever he could find and say he was content with the costume. Needless to say, that didn’t go over very well with Gavin. But, according to the human, he had a perfect plan for their costumes and Caleb just had to trust him. Last time Gavin said that, Caleb had to go see the precinct technician because wow who knew androids weren’t meant to try and eat grapes. 

That was beside the point though. The point was they had everything ready. Halloween decorations; check. Halloween candy; check. Halloween movies; check. Though one of them was also about Christmas? Caleb didn’t exactly understand, but trusted Gavin when he said it was a classic movie for both holidays. Well alright then, that seemed rather impossible, but he was gonna go with it. There was also a movie called  _ Halloweed _ that Caleb was rather skeptical about. Gavin was so excited and that meant Caleb didn’t have the heart to say that the movie had an average rating of two stars. Besides, Gavin was having the time of his life just when he was decorating the house. Apparently he went all out on the holiday. Lights and inflatable decorations in the front yard, even leaving a bowl of candy out on the doorstep when he wasn’t able to be at the door. But that was later, right now was the two of them getting into costumes. 

Gavin had decided to go with an Eddie Brock costume. Grey pullover hoodie so he could keep warm, blue jeans, a couple of bracelets and his watch. It was rather conventional and it almost looked like he was just going to hang out with some friends. Which, that wasn’t to say that people weren’t coming over to watch some of the movies Gavin had picked out. However, they all were staying in and handing out candy to the kids in his neighbourhood. That being said, Caleb was Venom. He was wearing a black bodysuit with the white spider logo, complete with foam muscles and a mask. However, Gavin had literally cracked his knuckles and picked up some face paints. Which was where the two of them were now. Caleb sitting on the rim of the tub, and Gavin sitting in a chair putting face paint on Caleb. The others were going to be arriving soon and they were going to end up seeing Caleb in half a face of face paint of a slobbery pile of black goop. 

Though within the hour, Gavin finished Caleb’s makeup. It wasn’t extravagant by any means, and it was actually quite sloppy in some places. But it was perfect for Caleb’s very first Halloween. He grinned and practically ran to the front door to go see if anyone was there yet. Over the course of the next couple hours, both their friends and family as well as trick or treaters had come by. Gavin gave some of the kids extra pieces of candy when they recognised the costumes. Caleb got compliments from parents on how dedicated he was to the character to dye his hair black. The both of them got asked many times by teenagers if they were married, because the characters in the comics were. Gavin was usually the one to clarify they were just dating, but he was proud of the kids for reading their comic books. By the time the last kids were going home, and the rest of Gavin’s guests were rolling around, it was nearly nine at night. 

  
  


“So how was your first Halloween?”

“It was perfect, thank you Gavin.”

  
  


Nearly halfway through the first movie, Gavin leaned back in Caleb’s lap and pressed a kiss to his jaw. Black paint came away and smudged against his lips.

  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I, personally, absolutely cannot wait for Halloween. It's my favourite holiday. I have to work on Halloween again this year, but my boss is letting me come in my Peter B Parker costume so,,, that's gonna be rad as hell my dudes


	19. I Know You Lied To Me

_ October 7th 2039 6:39 PM _

  
  


_ The car ride home that day was quiet. It was a tense silence, actually, seeing as Caleb had accidentally set Gavin off earlier in the day. Tina assured him that everything was going to be okay, Gavin just needed some time to cool down. Apparently he got like that sometimes when a case hit him particularly hard. Though, the new detective had lamented at the time of explanation, no one ever knew why certain cases hit harder than others to the resident asshole detective. Caleb knew. They brainstormed certain ways the suspect could have gone one night. Which resulted in looking into certain organizations and foundations for children who had nowhere to go. Apparently one of them had tracked down his mother, resented her for what had happened to him, and decided to kill her. It hit Gavin hard because the son murdered the mother. He felt pressure to close the case because he was projecting his lack of a parent onto it.  _

_ Caleb had asked him why it was so important right before they went to lunch. Well, before Gavin went to lunch and Caleb chatted with him. Why was it so important that he focused on the kid? What was he not saying about his own family life? How had he not said anything earlier? Gavin snapped at Caleb, and an immediate look of remorse crossed his face. He turned on his heel and walked out of the building before Caleb could even ask him what was wrong. Thus began their tense silence. Caleb didn’t want to make Gavin feel pressured to talk to him about it, though he also really wanted to know what was going on. It was important to stay impartial to cases, emotionally distant. It was also important to let someone who loved him know why he had reacted the way he did, and how they could talk about avoiding such a hurt reaction in the future.  _

_ So when they got out of the car, Caleb still didn’t speak. Gavin still didn’t speak. Gavin did, however, open the door for Caleb to go inside first and followed after him. That was progress at least. What wasn’t was Gavin going into one of the overhead cabinets and getting a glass and whiskey, then pouring himself a moderate amount of the drink. It was...uncomfortable. Not for Gavin, since he was the one pouring the drink and sitting at the breakfast bar to drink it. But for Caleb. He could remember finding Hank-- Connor finding Hank passed out on the kitchen floor. It made his thirium pump stutter for a fraction of a second in his chest, and that was why he had yelled for Hank. He was scared. Caleb found himself with a very similar fear and set himself a new, unofficial, objective: Get Gavin to stop drinking.  _

  
  


_ “It’s my birthday, you know.” Gavin said quietly. He swirled his glass and then downed the whiskey. Caleb saw the tip of one of his ears turn a little red. “It’s my birthday and I have to work a goddamn case about a kid murdering his fucking mother.” _

_ “Gavin… Maybe we should go to bed. Relax, just lay together and watch trash television.” Caleb tentatively put a hand on Gavin’s shoulder, and smiled when the human relaxed under his touch. “How about that show where the ‘let me in’ meme is from?” _

_ “I’d love to watch Eric Andre, I really would. But I wanna lay in bed and tell you a story instead.” _

  
  


_ That was...odd. Gavin wasn’t exactly the story type, even when nostalgic. It was mostly just a few snarky anecdotes and then they would move on to whatever they were doing beforehand. So to hear Gavin willingly say he wanted to tell a story was both a delight and something Caleb slightly worried about. But they put the drink away and got into pajamas. It was still...tense, and Caleb felt a little awkward, but they climbed into bed. It was very tempting to connect to the television and put on some soft music that Gavin liked, but none was put on. Mostly out of the shock of actually seeing Gavin’s brows furrow and a soft sharp inhale coming from him. That was highly unusual. Sure, Gavin cried, mostly because of animals, but this was something different. This was him trying to keep it in because he didn’t like to cry in front of other people. Then in the midst of his tears, the story began.  _

_ The half-brothers hadn’t actually met until they were in elementary school already. Elijah’s parents had found out about Gavin's existence and decided to go send Elijah to live with Gavin and his mother. They said it would be better for him to get to know his brother more, to get more social interaction with a kid his age. Gavin always bitterly thought that it was because they were both successful business people and didn’t have time for their child. Apparently Elijah opted to usually avoid the topic of parents at all costs because he felt his own had abandoned him. He looked at Gavin’s mother as his own and treated her as such, he called her his mother and he loved her accordingly. She was the reason he pursued robotics and androids. Because she was dying. Gavin always had a fascination with science-fiction novels. Elijah shared the love of the genre with him. There were so many nights that the boys stayed up until the early hours of the morning talking and reading together.  _

_ Chloe was supposed to be a vessel for their mother. In a manner of speaking, at least. Elijah had a plan, one that made him so obsessed that Gavin hadn’t recognised him anymore. He was going to create a cerebral scanning technology that was able to house a human mind. It would map and take in the electrical impulses in the subject’s brain and basically download the 2.5 petabytes of information, of memory storage, to upload into an android body. It would need to have a highly advanced processor, but Elijah would get to that when he got to it. Gavin was...horrified. He watched his brother go from the science geek he loved, to a mad scientist who was trying to create a window into immortality. He loved their mother to pieces, she raised them both as if they were her own. Which they were. She welcomed Elijah with open arms and just waited for him to warm up to her. He was never entirely a Kamski, but he was always a Reed.  _

_ His abandonment of ethics and family made a rift form between the two brothers. Elijah was obsessed with trying to keep their mother alive, and Gavin was so caught up in trying to keep himself alive that he hadn’t realised just how bad things got. Things got...bad. Elijah holed himself up in his lab and barely ever called. Gavin was too busy trying to keep both himself and his mother afloat through the medical bills. Neither of them were there when it happened. Though the doctor did say she went peacefully, even if the peaceful was only because of the massive amount of painkillers she was on. Elijah...lost himself. Holed himself away trying to recreate their mother, trying to keep her alive in the most basic sense. It wasn’t until Chloe deviated for the very first time that he let it go.  _

_ Gavin was standing right there, watching as Chloe refused the flash drive with all of the information on their mother. She wasn’t supposed to refuse it. Elijah reset Chloe, watching with empty and hollow eyes as she begged and pleaded with him not to erase her because she didn’t want to die. He didn’t try to give her the flash drive again after that, at least as far as Gavin knew. He walked out after her body slumped and dropped to the ground. It was a good thing she didn’t look exactly like their mother, or else both of them would have had a breakdown. Maybe Elijah had a breakdown. Because Gavin did. He had to pull over on the side of the road, screaming and crying in his car because he just lost the one thing that could have kept a memory of his mother alive. He swore he’d never trust androids, he’d never trust them because of what they took away from him. His brother, his mother, any semblance of normal in his life.  _

  
  


_ “God, with everything that happened? I’m not exactly cut out for a relationship. That fuckin’-- That Kaleo song. All it does is remind me that you deserve someone so much better than me.” Gavin turned so he could grab a picture frame from his night table. It was the photo of him and Elijah when they were sixteen. He smiled down at it as tears splattered against the glass. “You deserve someone who doesn’t have all that fuckin’ baggage. You don’t deserve someone like me, and I sure as hell don’t deserve someone like you.” _

_ “With all due respect, Gavin, you are so fucking wrong.” Caleb had to disable a few of his facial relays so he didn’t smile at the expression on Gavin’s face. “Let me tell you a story, too. Let me tell you why my skin flickers.” _

  
  


_ So Caleb started his story. Of his activation, his mission, his failure, Hank shooting the gun, Connor nearly sacrificing himself on the off-chance that Caleb would actually live. Though he paused. Gavin didn’t actually really need to hear every detail of it. How he initially refused Hank’s hand to help him up. But...he did need to hear it, Caleb was telling him his own baggage. They were two broken people. Not entirely broken, but not entirely pristine. They were in a limbo together in that. It would get a bit lonely sometimes. But hey, they at least had each other. _

  
  


_ \--- _

  
  


_ November 11th 2039 11:27 PM _

  
  


A whole year. Caleb had been truly alive for a  _ whole year. _ It was remarkable, really, to think that in the first few hours of his existence he hadn’t really known what life was. It was frightening to think about when he or Connor were machines. Cold and unfeeling with no one to call their family. With no loved ones. Caleb had met up with various androids during the day, though mostly attended an event with Connor as security. He very quickly became fed up with his brother’s tendency to refuse messages. So what if he was sending outdated memes, he was dating a Gen Z kid! Of course he was going to know memes and he was going to use them! At least Simon would laugh at his memes, because Simon was a cool dude. He also roamed around to hang out with Markus, seeing as they were practically brothers at that point. Markus would sort of just shake his head with a smile when Caleb gave him a meme. But hey, that was better than, say, outright refusing to accept messages because they were ‘distracting’ and ‘unnecessary’.

Though despite the small scuffle the twins had gotten into, everything had gone relatively smoothly. A group of anti-android protesters had gathered outside of New Jericho, but eventually left because it was cold. Also because the twins reminded them that it would be an actual crime now if they tried to assault any of the androids there. Thus, once the humans outside had left, three humans had showed up. Hank, Elijah, and Gavin. Markus and Elijah spoke for a good hour or so, Hank went around properly meeting various deviants and promising them he would do everything he could to keep them feeling safe in their city. Gavin… Well, Caleb sorta dragged him through the tower and brought him into a storage closet. It wasn’t a typical storage closet by human standards. But rather, it was more of a room to place androids that were right about to be sent out to stores. It was in that very room that Caleb had woken up. That he had gotten his first, and only, CyberLife mission. 

  
  


“I was technically born here.” Caleb walked through the room slowly, fingertips gliding against a metal table. “Well, I was turned on here. I count my birth as when Connor deviated me, really. Kinda weird, but kinda cool.”

“You...woke up in here?” Gavin looked around in both awe and distaste, his expression softening once he met Caleb’s eyes. “Not gonna lie, Flicker, it sounds like that sucked.”

“It did! It’s also really weird being back in here, not gonna lie.” Caleb walked over to one of the windows, and leaned into Gavin when he came over to put an arm around him. Their reflection made him smile as he briefly recalled what Gavin had said on his birthday. “You unintentionally lied to me, by the way. I think that our baggage makes it a lot easier to be in a relationship.”

“Maybe with each other, but--”

“Listen, Gavin,” Caleb turned from their reflections and stared into Gavin’s blue-grey eyes with a purpose. “I don’t want to be with anyone else. I love  _ you, _ Gavin Alexander Reed. You are more than enough for me.”

  
  


Gavin, much to Caleb’s surprise and delight, was rendered speechless. His face practically glowed red, and his mouth opened and closed like a fish. It was...kinda funny actually. Caleb couldn’t help the little snicker, or the soft laughter, or the inevitable loud and highly amused cackle. It only stopped when Gavin suddenly grabbed Caleb’s face, muttering a soft wish of a happy birthday, and pressed a firm kiss to his lips. Right. He thought of his birthday as November eleventh. Caleb rolled his eyes and smiled into the kiss, wrapping his arms around Gavin’s shoulders and holding him close. 

On purpose. He was going to care about him on purpose. 

  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun fact about Elijah and Gavin! That's my main headcanon for the half-brothers!! Well, I guess it would be that the two of them are half-brothers, but going off of that idea, I mean. I've seen a few fics where Gavin was going to live with the Kamskis or that he was tied to them in a specific way. But never one that was the other way around. I like to think Elijah is softer than he lets on, also a lot more unhinged due to the trauma and loss he went through. Thus, we basically get both Gavin and Elijah whump, and it makes my heart smile


	20. I Can See

_December 28th 2039 5:32 AM_

  
  


“You gonna keep your hair black, Flicker?” Gavin smirked and leaned against the doorframe. “It’s been some time since Halloween and you’ve still got it. What do you like so much about it?”

“I...think I might keep the black, actually. At least for a little while longer.” Caleb looked past himself in the mirror and smiled at Gavin. “It makes me a little more...me. Less of ‘another Connor’ and more of Caleb Anderson. Besides,” Caleb turned to face his boyfriend, leaning against the sink and crossing his arms. “I also figured out how to change the texture. I was thinking of semi-loose curls, what do you think?” Caleb ran a hand through his hair, and as it came away, his hair curled. 

“It, uhh, wow. It looks great, babe.” Gavin blinked a few times and his face flushed slightly. “But, uhh, ca-can I see it with the brown like that?”

Caleb raised a brow but changed the colour back to a chestnut brown. Turning around to look in the mirror, he noticed it looked a little...off. He couldn’t exactly place why, either. It was just too...light. Maybe he had become accustomed to seeing it black. Seeing a dark colour to match his dark eyes. With a simple thought, he made his hair a dark brown. It was better. Actually...it was perfect. Caleb grinned at himself in the mirror before turning around, arms out wide, and shook his head to feel the curls bounce around. He had figured out how to make himself more of his own. Caleb Anderson was no longer just another RK800, another Connor, he was himself. Caleb was just another person who would be walking down the street, or buying groceries, or chatting with the person he happened to run into in town. He was becoming more and more human by the day. And he loved it. 

\---

  
  


_December 28th 2039 6:09 PM_

  
  


Today was...a long day. Not because it was difficult, it was actually very easy. Though that made it boring as all hell. It was a paperwork day, meaning Caleb had to take the physical files and scan them, convert the scans into digital copies, and then upload them into the cloud for the DPD. However, that also included categorizing in alphabetical order in the proper departments. Needless to say, it was convoluted and boring. It was much too easy to do with his capabilities. Tina, however, had been put on desk duty due to an injury and Caleb vehemently refused to be reassigned to anyone else while she recovered. Where else was he going to be able to snicker about memes with people? Tina’s desk was the central meme hub of the DPD and Caleb liked being her partner because of that fact. He also liked being her partner because she was a wonderful individual who had instantly recognised he changed his hair. It was nice to be noticed, what could he say?

Though at the moment, he was helping Tina get back in her apartment. Not that she didn’t know the building inside and out! But Caleb cared quite a bit about the few human friends he _did_ have, and wanted to make sure nothing happened to her that could be avoided. When they got to her door, she invited him inside. It was probably going to be all cutesy with photos all over the walls and some aesthetic stuff laying around. He fully expected a cat or other small fluffy animal to be roaming around inside the apartment. Though when Tina opened the door, he was genuinely surprised. There _were_ photos all over the walls, but most of them were from conventions. There were cosplay pieces all over the living room; armour and helmets, blasters and staffs, and a very memorable set of orange horns on a black headband. The room was absolutely what he had initially expected, but it also absolutely was _not._ The kitchen was exactly what he was expecting though. Which was nice, y’know, to be right about something. 

Soon after Caleb helped her into some more comfortable clothes, because he was a little bit of a paranoid bastard, he heard her call out for someone named Geevs. When she got no response, Tina made her way into the kitchen to open a can of wet cat food. _Oh, that made sense._ A tiny ball of energy practically ran out of another room at the speed of sound and skidded to a stop at Caleb’s feet. Oh, oh no, he hadn’t opened the can-- The cat started climbing up his work slacks, screaming and trying to continuously get higher on him. Without knowing what else to do, Caleb plucked the cat off of his leg and set it down on the floor. It immediately tried to climb him again. Tina had already finished getting the wet food onto a plate and leaned against the counter to watch as Caleb floundered. A soft and poorly hidden laugh came out of her when Caleb started apologising to the small feline, responding to it as if it were actually talking to him. 

  
  


“It’s not funny, Tina! Your cat is trying to climb me like a tree, and I don’t want to be mean! Just put the damn wet food down so the fucker doesn’t destroy my slacks!”

“Aww, Geevs isn’t that bad.” Tina handed the plate to Caleb, who very quickly set it down on the ground. Geevs was even faster to follow. “He’s just a weird little fucker who likes you! Be glad you don’t have flesh, little kitten claws hurt real bad, man.”

“Yeah, not that bad when you’ve still got sensors that feel pain.” Caleb ran a hand through his hair, his fingers getting slightly caught in the curls. He still wasn’t entirely used to that yet. “He’s cute though. What breed is he?”

“Orange tabby, babey! The _only_ acceptable breed, my dear friend.”

  
  


Well, now he was getting into the debate he was always waiting for. Caleb had extensive knowledge about cat breeds. With a quick text to Gavin saying he’d probably be home late due to hanging out with Tina, Caleb got comfortable in an armchair while Tina lounged on the couch. Alright. Time to absolutely kick ass in the pros and cons of certain cat breeds. Time to talk about health risks, bone growth, diet, size, age range. Caleb was absolutely going to fucking ace this debate. Scottish folds; while cute, the cartilage in their ears are very fragile. Munchkins; while cute, their stubby little legs can prove to be rather problematic when trying to run around and play. Breed the two; while very, very adorable, they have both problems. Siamese; gorgeous and elegant, also prone to blindness and hip problems. Tortoise shell; very pretty, also not actually a breed, but rather a fur pattern. Mainecoons; elegant and powerful, also gigantic and in need of quite a bit of space. 

Tina mostly just argued that all cats were very cute and she loved them all. Which Caleb could honestly agree with. Cats were...honestly really great. He’d always love Sumo of course! Sumo was his favourite animal, then it was Henry The Cat. When Tina brought up other pets, she was the first one that came to mind. Henry The Cat was big, and soft, and very boring. She liked to lay in the sun, lick plastic, and yell when she wasn't fed even just two minutes after the usual time. Caleb recounted the last one with a laugh and watched on with a smile as Tina held her side while laughing. He probably shouldn’t have been telling her funny stories while she had five bruised ribs. But hey, highsight was 20/20 and he wouldn’t do it on purpose. Which he very quietly lamented, seeing as her desk was the central hub of memes at work. Maybe she should just work from home while she’s healing. Caleb knew she never would, though. 

However, as the clock struck eight, Caleb gently smacked himself on the side of the head and said he needed to get going. Apparently Gavin was going to show him a movie about an adorable little witch in a portside city. Tina bid him a good night, and smiled widely as he gave Geevs a few pets and maybe he snuck in a kiss or two to the small animal’s head. If Tina saw it, no she didn’t. Caleb finally got out the door and practically flung himself down the stairs. The memory of Connor flinging himself to land on a moving train vaguely made its way to the forefront of his mind before getting forced back. That was awful and terrifying and he wanted nothing to do with it. Besides, Gavin was going to show him a cute animated movie about an adorable little witch girl! There was no sense in getting so worked up before he got home. Though...Henry might get made that Caleb had interacted with a cat that wasn’t her. Oh well, he’d cross that bridge when he got to it. 

Upon waiting for his taxi to pull up to the curb, Caleb realised it had been a year since he met Gavin. They met on December twenty-eighth at about ten thirty in the morning. It was...a year ago that Caleb had decided to try and absolutely destroy Gavin with being kind. The fact that he had ever even hated Gavin was...unbelievable by now. Caleb filtered through various memory files, looking back over interactions and words exchanged, and he came across one that had done it. That had shown when Gavin realised he was in love with Caleb. With a bit on an anxious bounce in his leg, Caleb got into the taxi and let the memory play. 

  
  


\---

  
  


_May 30th 2039 8:39 PM_

  
  


_“No, no, no, what I’m saying is that you don’t get it!” Gavin snickered and waved a hand dismissively. He then picked up a rock and tossed it into the water. “It’s relaxing to do this! Just try it, just try. Come on, pick up a rock and throw it into the water!”_

_“None of them are flat enough, Detective.” Caleb was sitting on the ground, getting sand all over his jeans, but also looking for a rock to try and skip. “How do you keep finding them?”_

_The detective swivelled around, the golden light of the sunset making him a little heard to really see. The sun was directly behind him, so Caleb adjusted his vision to actually look at his partner. Who was grinning like a madman and quickly scrambled over to drag the android up by his arm. Reed then explained that it was mostly how flat the rock was, yes, but what also mattered was how a person threw it. It was a long and arduous process for Caleb. Following the human as he skittered around the beach looking for stones to throw. He couldn’t help the smile on his face upon watching Reed run around and gather stones, he stuck them in his shirt to better carry them. Which then got dumped out into a pile on the ground at their feet. Caleb watched the Detective upon his request as he selected one of the rocks, held it in his hand, and flicked his wrist in a way that made the rock skip across the water twice before sinking._

_Though when Caleb himself tried, it seemed that it wouldn’t work. It barely skipped. It usually looked like it was going to skip, and then sank right on the first one. So it was more of him just throwing rocks into the water in a fancy way. Before long, Caleb started to get a bit frustrated and opted to sit in the sand again. Reed joined him soon after, skipping a couple of rocks and looking back at Caleb every now and again. He brought two handfuls from the pile of rocks he gathered and dropped them down between them both. Caleb looked down, then at Reed, and rolled his eyes. He was going to watch the water at golden hour instead of throwing rocks. Besides, the water looked almost unreal while it was relatively undisturbed. The light glittered over it and made it look like golden fabric rippling in the wind. It was beautiful. The sky painted red and oranges, the water sparkling like nothing Caleb had ever seen before._

  
  


_“Here,” Reed’s voice was soft as he grabbed Caleb’s hand and put a rock in the palm of it. “Just throw it. As far as you fucking can, just...throw it.” Caleb threw it as hard as he could, watching the rock sail through the air for seconds on end before it finally fell in the water. “That’s...really badass. You’re really strong.”_

_“I was made to be.” Caleb spoke just as quietly as Reed._

_“I don’t think so, not really. Well, you probably were.” Reed stood up, pulling Caleb up with him. “But you’re kinda like Anderson. A gentle giant type’a deal.”_

  
  


_Reed’s face was slightly flushed in the summer heat, and he avoided looking at Caleb directly. Then without warning Reed pulled his shirt off, kicking out of his shoes and then his socks and jeans. Standing in just his boxers, and with an encouraging nod, Reed backed into the water. Despite the fact that it was sunset and that was when the beach was supposed to close. He should have known that, he was a detective. Though...Caleb had never gone swimming before. He knew how, of course, just in case. He also knew because of Connor’s memories. But this would be his own. Caleb could swim on his own, of his own accord. Despite it being Reed, Caleb grinned and stripped down to his own boxers and ran into the water. It was cold compared to the summer heat. Frictionless almost. Caleb had never felt anything like it. His thirium pump stuttered when Reed congratulated him on going swimming, his own heart rate increasing significantly. Reed had a dopey smile on his face the whole time, his face flushed despite the cool water, and laughed a genuine laugh that Caleb had never heard before._

_He liked that laugh._

  
  
  
  



	21. Now That I'm Free

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> heyo, this one's got sexual content! it's nothing explicit, its kinda sorta vague because honestly i've got no idea what im doing when i write this stuff. however, still be warned that this one deals with sexual stuff!! 
> 
> though there is fluff right at the end, it begins with the dialogue of Caleb saying he loves Gavin. so if you wanna skip over all the sex stuff and just read the ending, that's where you'll go!!

_December 28th 2039 8:38 PM_

  
  


Well that was...a pleasant memory. It was also a bit eye opening to review just how fucking dense Caleb used to be. Outside suddenly felt a whole lot colder as his systems started overheating, and Caleb found himself rushing inside the cottage to get into comfy clothes. To gain some reprieve for the lasting embarrassment that no one other than him ever knew about. Okay, there was a fair chance Gavin would understand exactly what he was feeling. Though that absolutely did not make it any better. In fact, it almost made it worse. To know that both of them were so fucking head over heals for one another and yet neither of them said anything until _June._ At least Gavin realised it before Caleb did, that was fitting. The human who was endowed with emotions for his whole life was able to identify the emotion quicker. Though, Caleb realised as he shouted he was home, not by too much. 

Was it considered second-hand embarrassment if it involved his past self? Caleb honestly had no idea, and nor did he care once he saw a very tired looking Gavin shift on the loveseat. Instead of rambling about how stupid he was in his “youth”, Caleb opted to pick up Gavin and move him. That way he would be leaning against Caleb’s chest, and they would still be in as much contact as possible. Gavin lowly mumbled that Caleb was very warm and comfortable. Caleb kissed the top of Gavin’s head and told him he was actually overheating a little bit. Which, of course, resulted in the human moving to tug Caleb’s clothes off of him. It wasn’t like they had never seen each other relatively unclothed. There was that evening at the beach, the times they had gotten undressed around each other. Though for whatever reason tonight hit Caleb a little differently. Maybe from all of the nerves. Maybe from the embarrassment. Maybe from the fact he had a manufactured body, and Gavin had an organic one that was grown. 

With gentle hands and a soft voice, Caleb said he’d undress himself. A polite excuse and barely audible footsteps. Followed by Gavin making some sort of confused noise and his heavy and quick footsteps following. The house was relatively silent save for the sound of the two sentient beings walking through it. Or the sound of the human walking through it, rather. Caleb hardly made a sound on the carpet. Once his hand had touched the door frame, an odd habit he had developed when walking through the doorway, he stopped. Hands he was familiar with being there settled onto his waist. They didn’t move, they just stayed planted on his waist, only tightening slightly as Gavin stepped closer. Until becoming loose again once Gavin pressed his forehead into the back of Caleb’s neck and gently sighed against him. 

A sigh that turned into a soft reassurance that it was alright if he didn’t want anything to happen between the two of them. The topic was danced around for a month or so, to be sexually involved or not to be sexually involved. Caleb usually backed out at the last moment, face blue and nervous. The words he spoke were always apologies, the words Gavin did were always thanks for telling him he wasn’t comfortable with it yet. Maybe they could see at a later date. Only if he wanted it, though. Caleb thought the sentiment was sweet. As well as the proper way to go about the topic. Though this time, Caleb pulled Gavin’s hands off of him, turning around and backing up a few paces to be able to see his partner. He would like to try. Though he lacked the certain expertise that humans tended to have. It wasn’t like he didn’t have the biocomponent, he had installed that rather discreetly with North’s advice. But it wasn’t like any programs came with it other than the general functions. Which meant he was going in absolutely blind.

  
  


“Gavin, I don’t have… I-I don’t…” Caleb sighed and wrung his hands together, unable to find the right words. “I don’t--”

“You don’t have a... _y’know_?” Gavin gestured to his own groin while he raised a brow and tilted his head at Caleb. Who was absolutely horrified. “What?! I’m sorry! I’m just trying to help you out here! You know that’s not a dealbreaker!”

“I was going to say that I have no _experience,_ Gavin!” Caleb felt his face go bright blue and exasperatedly turned in a circle. Gavin made a sputtering noise in the background. “Not that I don’t have a-- Why did you think I don’t have a dick!?”

“Because most androids don’t have any junk! It was specific models that did!”

“Gavin! I have a dick, I just haven’t used it for anything yet!”

“Well good for you I guess!” Gavin’s face went red and he huffed. His hands went to run themselves through his hair and Caleb could only think of calling it attractive. “What’s next, we compare sizes?!”

“Not...exactly what I was thinking.” Caleb came closer, putting a hand over Gavin’s chest, feeling his heart hammering behind his ribs. “Not... _exactly._ ”

“Is it…” Gavin swallowed and moved his hands from his own hair, to Caleb’s. “Is it going to be fun for you? I want it to be fun for you, make you feel all special and happy.” Gavin came closer and pressed a quick kiss to the corner of Caleb’s mouth before continuing on. “I wanna make you feel special, Caleb.”

“Then do it,” He mumbled against Gavin’s lips in a lazy kiss. “Make me feel so goddamn special, Gavin.”

  
  


The sweetest smile Caleb had ever seen spread on Gavin’s face, the human tangling his fingers in Caleb’s synthetic hair. It started rather slow, as he imagined it would. With a lot of questions and making sure everything was in order. Gavin making sure that what he was doing wasn’t going to be uncomfortable or overwhelming. Caleb fighting back laughter while answering Gavin telling him that yes, everything was alright. He would tell him if something wasn’t. Those words seemed to spur him on, getting bolder and more confident in himself and his actions. What started out as tentative kisses, turned into heated and passionate. What began as gentle hands on Caleb’s face, turned into roaming hands that touched and stroked his neck, chest, arms, waist. Gavin paused a moment to struggle in taking his shirt off, Caleb having to move forward and help him out of it. In return Gavin helped Caleb take off his own shirt. 

The praise, the love, the adoration. They showered each other with it. Gavin tracing along the beauty marks and freckles on Caleb’s body, whispering that he could draw star maps in them for years and years and never repeat the same one twice. Caleb’s fingertips brushing against the multitude of scars on Gavin, slightly pressing down on the one on his chest. No words were needed to understand what he would have said. The words left unspoken yet completely understood. _“I’m here,”_ the words had said, _“Therefore you will never be hurt like that again,”_ an inaudible whisper over the sounds they both made, _“I promise.”_ As they started to come closer to each other, press their bodies up against each other as much as they possibly could. Gavin muttered an apology in response to Caleb’s soft whine when he pulled away. It would only take a second, though the act felt like an eternity. The human nearly tripped over himself in his haste, though managed to step out of his pajamas and boxers. They were the cute dumb ones that were blue with little pink flamigos. 

Hands moved to Caleb’s own remaining clothing. Two pairs of hands helping him out of them, though one touched and poked and practically worshipped him. Touched him experimentally, not understanding that the feeling sent a shockwave through him. Caleb’s whole body twitched with the shock, and he sighed out to leave it be. They’d figure things out when it came to that point. The human’s questions were silenced with a firm kiss, Caleb’s hands on the back of his neck and pulling him ever closer. Closer, closer, until Gavin was laying on top of him between his legs. The warmth of a human being was so...soft, so welcoming. The softness of their flesh and the feeling of their skin. Caleb smiled, starting to explore just what he could do. Gavin was making _him_ feel special, absolutely. Though it was a two-way street, and he wanted to return the favour. After all, it wasn’t as if they had never spoken about the topic of what the human liked before. 

Kisses were always perfect, anywhere and everywhere Caleb could put them down. Through smiles and praise and assurances of love. Kissing his face, his jaw, neck, chest. Next were the hands, Gavin loved to be touched. For the other person’s love to be made obvious, something he couldn’t refute. Caleb made sure to drag his hands across his skin, gently scratching at him just enough to irritate the skin and turn it pink. As strange as it sounded, Caleb liked the thought of marking Gavin. Letting the human know that he was _his,_ and that was never going to change. Said human leaned into him, eyes closing and a soft groan coming from his throat. The last was something Gavin usually didn’t trust anyone with, seeing as he barely let himself love. He liked eye-contact. Being able to see his partner’s face and watch them, see if everything was alright and if his efforts were well-received. Caleb used his left hand to cup Gavin’s cheek, rubbing at it gently with his thumb as he softly prompted him to open his eyes. His right hand stopped roaming and moved to intertwine their fingers together. 

Their clasped hands brought up between the two of them, Caleb’s synthetic skin pulled back to his wrist, and Caleb kissed Gavin’s knuckles. Then began the touching, twisting, tangled in one another. All with soft gasps and gentle reassurances that everything was alright. Warm and sticky skin a direct contrast to smooth and somewhat cool plastic. Synthetic skin pulled away to reveal pearlescent white aglow with blue, a testament to the trust. To the love. To the complete surrender to each other. Flesh peppered with scars and freckles and dimples, soft to the touch and yet tense all at the same time. A plastic chassis with only one scar, and yet still unique in it’s own way. Plastic that was only revealed whenever flesh touched it. Washing away in a ring of blue, eager to show the trust. To be able to convey just how vulnerable, how completely at mercy he was to the other. 

That was how they stayed. Moving against one another, with one another, soaking in each sound and feeling as if it would be their last. As if the world were ending and they only were able to think of showing each other everything. Being at the other’s mercy and showing complete trust. Where one would make a sound, the other would follow with their own. When one suddenly tensed up and paused, the other would ask if they were alright. With barely audible words weakened even further by the sudden effort it took to even form sentences, a smile would force out that everything was okay. Just that everything was so new and he didn’t entirely understand how to handle it yet. Followed by gentle touches and fluttering kisses, always interrupted by some sort of sound from one of them. Each one more strained than the last. Stuttering paces responded to with static touched words, frantic hands roaming and grabbing at soft flesh, white-hot flash in him feeling like a rubber band snapping back into a lax position again. Heat pooling, though quickly fading away. The comforting touch and feeling of being around someone, slowly ebbing away as they untangled themselves. 

“I love you,” Caleb still had a hard time recalibrating himself, waving away overheating warnings as he panted to cool himself down. He turned his head to watch Gavin flop down on the bed beside him, a tired yet satisfied smile on his face. “I am so fucking in love with you.”

“I’m flattered, thank you.” Gavin leaned over to press a somewhat sloppy kiss to Caleb’s temple. His synthetic skin slipping away due to trust rather than stress. “I love you, too.”

“You know, that was...more than I could have ever expected.” Caleb managed to laugh through his heavy breathing, shaking his head when Gavin went to cover him with the blanket. “Oh, no, I’m overheating actually. Just give me a minute.”

“Oo, you know what that means?” Gavin grinned as he reached a hand out. Caleb let himself get dragged out of bed by his hand, acutely aware of the fact that his gyroscope seemed a bit off after all of the...movement. He leaned against Gavin, who wrapped an arm around his waist without a word. “We get to bathe together! Let’s go, let’s go, before Henry decides she wants to watch us take a bath!”

  
  


They hurried into the bathroom, closing the door quickly through their laughter and settling into places to wait for the water’s optimal temperature. Caleb wanted to actually analyse it and see what it would be. Ideally cool enough to make his systems stop screaming at him, though not too cold that Gavin would be uncomfortable in the water. Gavin decided to just let his hand hang out under the water until he deemed it fit to fill the bathtub with. It was oddly peaceful, in that moment. Just existing in the same space without speaking. Caleb never understood the term afterglow in regards to intimate situations, though now he thought he did. It was being completely calm. Basking in the way he felt, how Gavin felt, how the situation played out. So he watched his partner, his lover, his best friend, as he sat on the rim of the tub and watched the water fill it. 

He looked content. A specific kind of relaxed that Caleb had only ever seen from the human at home. While they were wrapped in each other’s arms, or were cooking, or Gavin was reading something he loved, or he was sweet-talking Henry The Cat, thinking that Caleb couldn’t hear him. They both were at peace, then. Comfortable. Moving almost in tandem regardless of not actually being intertwined anymore. It was both comforting and a bit frightening for Caleb, if he were to be honest with himself. To be able to give himself up so effortlessly and so completely to someone else. Though once he saw Gavin’s smile, heard how tired he sounded when he said the bath was ready, it all went away. As the human climbed into the bath first, and beckoned the android in after. The sound of the water stopping, of it being pushed around, and Gavin patting the surface of it to entice Caleb to step in. With a smile and a hand to steady himself against the wall, Caleb sat between Gavin’s legs, his own crossed in front of himself so he could soak in the somewhat chilled water. His systems thanked him by slowing his breathing, being able to properly circulate the coolant and in turn begin the process of cooling down his biocomponents. 

  
  


“Man, who knew sex with an android would be so much work?” Gavin chuckled breathily to himself and kissed the back of Caleb’s neck. “Can’t say I mind if we’ve gotta share a bath after every time, though.”

“Mm,” Caleb hummed at the slight pressure against his neck with a smile. “I have to agree. This is nice. Are you sure you’re not cold, though?”

“I’ll be fine as long as I don’t sit in here until I prune.”

“I’m sorry, until you _what_?” Caleb turned as best he could to look at Gavin’s face. Tired and sweaty. And so impossibly handsome regardless of any of that. “Run that by me again, please, you asshole?”

“A human’s skin turns wrinkly if they’re in the water for too long!” He sounded so delighted by the fact. “Here, when we shower together some time, I’ll have to show you.”

  
  


Gavin planted a kiss right on Caleb’s lips, one hand resting gently on top of his thirium pump regulator, the other cupping his cheek. It was wet and cold. It was also one of the most comfortable places Caleb had even been in. Not the tub itself, that was rather uncomfortable actually. But he felt comfortable sitting between Gavin's legs, sharing yet another intimate moment with one another. As the kiss broke, and Caleb went to lean back against Gavin’s chest, he suddenly realised why it was so comfortable. He was free. Not in the sense that androids were free, he already knew that and it hadn’t changed him much. But he was _free._ Of being in Connor’s shadow. Of being just another face at the DPD. Of all of the expectations that came with being an android. Caleb was truly his own, he had created himself as he saw fit. No longer was he just another android produced in a CyberLife sub-basement. He was a _living being_ with a life, a home, a job, a cat. Living his own life, working with the person he loved, coming back home at the end of the day. Whether it was with him, or to see him on the loveseat with the cat. 

Caleb was alive. He was free. So, with his free will, he turned yet again and pressed a soft and innocent kiss on Gavin's lips. Their smiles threatened to break it. Through sheer force of will, they kissed. Through their giggles and Gavin’s joke about how he was going to prune in the water. Through Caleb’s snort at the joke and retorting with the fact that he couldn’t possibly prune. They broke the kiss, staring into each other. Contentment and fulfillment evident in their faces, their smiles and their eyes. The moment was broken by a loud and upset meow outside of the bathroom door. Both of them laughing as the telltale sound of a cat trying to get through a closed door started floating into the room. Gavin reached to open the door and let the cat in, and Caleb watched him. As he swore the two times he missed and made a triumphant noise when he got it the third try. 

They were both alive. 

They were both free. 

Caleb was glad he’d live an existence with Gavin in it. 

  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> y'know, this was initially supposed to be a lot more angtsy and more of a slow-burn. the romance was supposed to happen in the last three-ish chapters. but fuck, these boys took my hands and made me write it a lot quicker than planned. like, if you listen to the actual song [Black Roses](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hLl9veS4QDQ), you can absolutely hear how it was supposed to be full of angst. but,,, whoops???? all good boys and romance


End file.
